Hypothetical: If Jesus and Buddha met each other

What do you think would happen? What would they say to each other? Do you think they would go their own separate ways or combine as a team? What would they think of each other?
Thanks.

[edit on 9-8-2010 by sphinx551]

i think it depends on wether you are talking about the "bible version" of jesus, or the actual man. idk though, i doubt either of them would be "nasty" to the other, and their conversation would be rather enjoyable to listen to. along those lines, a meeting of two great minds throghout history would be most enjoyable to observe.

reply to post by sphinx551


time travel paradox! universe implodes.
seriously though, it would be verrrrrrrrrry interesting.

jesus would say, "dude you need to watch your caloric intake."
buddha would say, "fat today is skinny tomorrow." or some equally philosophical thing.
jesus would say, "it has been written, eat drink and be marry for tomorrow you may die. but i say to you, bring the belly under submission!"
buddha would respond, "like this?" (does a belly dance)
jesus would comment, "wow good muscle tone. you get an A for managing to be both fat and physically fit. but you fail for not controlling your appetite in the face of extreme poverty around you."
buddha would say, "hey, what about that perfumed oil episode you were in. ya know the one where you corrected the lady who was trying to stop the other lady from "wasting" expensive perfume on your feet!"
jesus would say, "that's different. i'm god. you're just a very wise man."
buddha would retort, "oh yeah?"
jesus, "yeah!"
buddha, "hmph," walks away
jesus: "that guy sure seems familar...."

Buddhist and true Christian philosophy are interchangeable. They would party like it's 1999, BCE.

reply to post by undo

Siddhartha Gautama (the first Buddha) is not depicted as fat and there is no reason to believe he was.



gavinortlund.wordpress.com...


[edit on 8/9/2010 by Phage]

reply to post by Phage


eh that's just the communist version.
ANYway, if you read my post more carefully, you will note that it actually is a joke and that the common theme is they may be the same spiritual entity, avatars of each other, as it were.. not saying they are, but note buddha has a sense of humor. don't go getting all defensive on me now.

reply to post by undo

I realized it was a joke. Just keeping the record straight.

Speaking of which, what does communism have to do with it? Siddhartha Gautama was Indian (not Chinese) and communists don't take kindly to Buddhism or any other religion.

reply to post by Phage


that was a joke too. oh my gosh. i thought the thread seemed like a lighthearted approach to all that is wise and wisdom. i was just being a smart alec

reply to post by sphinx551


Something like this;
Buddha: Hello Jesus
Jesus: Oh you again!
Buddha: What no greeting, thats not very christian!
Jesus: So your Buddha today then?
Buddha: Yeah why not, got to keep em guessing!
Jesus: Is that the best you can do?
Buddha: Of course not, im just warming up!
Jesus: Well you better get ready cause things
are about to heat right up!
Buddha: You bring your A game, i'll bring mine!
Buddha: Bye Jesus
Jesus: Bye satan.

I wonder how "Family Guy" might portray it...

*clears throat*

okay, a serious appraisal of the topic.

jesus and buddha would agree on pretty much everything, for countless reasons, most of which i will not go into in this thread. it is my current view that jesus was buddha in another body. i know that's kinda new agey, but that seems to the gist of it, so far. i could be wrong.


there, that better phage?

I would assume Jesus would quickly judge him, start kicking tables over, and start criticizing him. And Buddha would probably meditate and keep calm.

SOURCE:
The man-made texts that described these fictional characters.



[edit on 9-8-2010 by Messiah_Tooth_Fairy]

I have no idea what they would say to each other.

But if it was a celebrity wrestling match i would pay to watch it.

People comparing Buddhism as a religion like Islam or Christianity continues to sicken me.

Buddhism is more of a way of life, a way of peace along a proper path. The "Buddha" you mention could be anybody who reaches nirvana, not just Siddhārtha Gautama, the founder.

The point of Buddhism is not to worship a single god but is in fact oneself. You yourself are god if you work hard and devote yourself to righteousness.

You will be surprised that Buddhism is the only "religion" or lifestyle in which people are genuinely happy with their lives, fully content of themselves and the world. It is absolutely stunning!!

If we assume that both of these individuals existed, why can't we assume that they actually did meet?

I was really intrigued by the documentary "Jesus In India". There's definitely so much we have yet to find out.

well phage is right, buddha the actual historical person was not fat, at least there is not way to prove either or, but he definitely was living in the hindu era of india, and practiced the same fasting techniques that probably would have kept him from gaining alot of weight, as well as coming originally from a wealthy family where he probably was athletic and eating properly as well

i have learned that he has been normally depicted long after his death as 'fat' because it is a symbolic way of signifying him as wealthy.. of course not wealthy in the sense of 'money' but wealthy in the sense of being full of life, wisdom and happiness, i bring that up just for those who would like a better understanding just why buddha, such an important figure, would be depicted as being overweight, haha

wikianswers

The common perception that thee Buddha was fat probably arise from the figure of "Hotei" (the fat Buddha, or "Laughing Chinaman" statue in Chinese restaurants). He is a symbol of happiness and prosperity, and in many countries a prosperous person is shown as being portly.

now on to the thread answer, what would happen if buddha met jesus? hmm, well jesus was probably not as condemning of other people during his lifetime as his followers became overtime, and really there could be no historic evidence of that, but i would suspect the bible gives enough information to his kind nature..

buddha was a man of few words from what i have learned, but when he did speak it was profound and worth listening to, there is a story of buddha coming to speak before many people, some of which had traveled miles apon miles just to hear what the enlightened being had to say so as to reach enlightenment themselves.. when buddha stood before them he said nothing, just let out a very happy and sincere laugh.. i beleive the moral of the story being that the essence of what he could teach them could not be expressed in words or to symbolize the purity of laughter orsomething

i forget the story exactly but i suppose the summation of my beleif is that if they met, which would have been impossible since buddha was around about 600 years before jesus, buddha would have seen jesus as anyone else, a person on their own spiritual journey

buddhists, as the religious philosophy, are patient and do not try to preach their ways onto others, in buddha's case, the original buddha was willing to teach his experiences to those willing to listen or try and benifit from them somehow

if the original buddha met jesus, i think he would not have much to say, or anything they would say would be in aggreeance, like about love, life and happiness and general 'positive' philosophies..

however, if jesus tried to tell buddha about how he was 'the sun of god' and whatnot, i think buddha would respond with something like 'we ALL are the sun of god'

nice post and thought

[edit on 8/9/2010 by indigothefish]

[edit on 8/9/2010 by indigothefish]

[edit on 8/9/2010 by indigothefish]

[edit on 8/9/2010 by indigothefish]

Jesus:"Pass me a bud bud"..
Budda: "Geez"...*face palm*
Jesus:"Sorry, heh heh "

Jesus: "Wrap me a bud, bud..."
Budda: "Geez"...*face palm*
Jesus: "Sorry, heh heh"
Jesus: You realize if this was a karate tounament I would be up two
points..."
Budda:"Jeez"

Jesus: Oooops, hey! FISH ON!...FISH ON!
Budda: Oh crap! *puts down beer, scrambles for net*," I'll get the net...
Whatchya got? whatchya got....?"
Jesus: "Just a sec, I'll climb out, and take a look...
Budda: "Geez"
Jesus: What ya think I got? I'm a fisher of men, Buddy. heh heh"
Budda : "Geez"
"beer me"
Jesus: "Bud?"
Budda: "What?"
Jesus: *Face palm*
Budda: Yep, Point!
Jesus: * Face palm*
Budda: "Point!"
Jesus: "Bud?"
Budda: "Don't matter, what ever's cold..."
Jesus: "How bout a mary magdalina...."
Budda: *sigh* "Red hot beer and Ice cold women... the other cooler..."
Jesus: "Ooops, just funnin' ya. How 'bout a Canadian?
Budda: "Yeah, Canadian will do..."
Jesus: "Bottle or can?"
Budda: "Bottle."
Jesus: "Nothin like a nice cold brew..."
Budda : Yep, Ya done good there.."
Jesus: "Yep, if I do say so myself..one of my better thoughts."
Budda: "I thought the coolie cup was a good fit for Beer"
Jesus: "Good thing too, they're no hell for tea...

Budda "Gotta light?
Jesus " Tongue of flame do?"
Budda "Yep"
Jesus "Oh thats nice.....Whoa..."
Budda " Someone just left it in the temple"
Jesus: "Gotta like that."
Budda "Life is good man, life is good...
" Say are those MnMs in your lap?
Jesus "Yeah, well you know...Gotta eat em one at a time.
The holes, ya know?"
Budda "Thats a drag, here try a coolie cup. Just pour 'em in, and knock
'em back..."
Jesus: "Hey, thats a good Idea, thanks"
Budda: " Thats what friends are for man. That's what friends are for.
Jesus: " say whats Moe doin?
Budda " dunno said he was takin care of stuff...He''ll be along when his shift is done."
Jesus "Cool"
Budda "Never takes the last beer"
Jesus :"Yeah, gotta like that in a guy"
Budda: "Doesn't leave much to scrap about does it ?"
Jesus :"Naw, plays a mean game of chess too..."
Budda : "Yep,Chess thats almost as good as your beer idea"
Jesus: "Yep. almost..."

[edit on 9-8-2010 by Danbones]

[edit on 9-8-2010 by Danbones]

I'm thinking pay-per-view steel cage death match with hardcore rules and a loser leave town stipulation. But that's just me.

I believe they would meet sit down, take a look around and agree, the message got lost and that what people are doing just is not what they tried to teach people.

Originally posted by TheBloodRed
You will be surprised that Buddhism is the only "religion" or lifestyle in which people are genuinely happy with their lives, fully content of themselves and the world. It is absolutely stunning!!

I am surprised. You have a source for that? Are you a buddhist?

[edit on 8/9/2010 by The Endtime Warrior]