posted on Sep, 18 2010 @ 09:38 PM
Hi Unity and Annee!
When I talk about the 'service to others path' I am talking more about a 'choice/decision' of what the 'mind complex' of me chooses. In life
itself, this individual experience, sure, I have to pay attention to the life of 'self'. I have to tend to all things that my 'self' is attached
to as well, such as my children, friends, family. I enjoy good food, back porch singing, a great book, star gazing, good company and conversation,
teaching my children things as well as trying to always be there for them mentally, emotionally, and physically. I have to take care of myself, health
wise, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Im very aware that all of these things are 'of the self'/ of my individual experience. I love them and
I now, as I have gotten older, try to balance them in a healthy life style.
I do love dong things for others...I love to cook for people, if someone shows up at my house at dinner time unexpectedly, they are not going to go
away hungry. I try to be there for others, mentally, emotionally, and physically as needed. I know, that for my own 'self' to be healthy, I must
balance others needs and wants with my own and my families. Sure there are tough choices to make at times....placing certain things first and knowing
other things or people could need me. Ive learned I can only do so much and that the best I can do is balance life between all areas and hope for the
Even though my inner nature has always loved doing for others, this is not what I am talking about of my choice to 'live for others, being of service
for the all/one'.
As growing up, I was taught to long for heaven, that this was a reward for walking the right road/way. Through new age ideas, I was taught that
ascension was a reward, a rest that I was deserving of if I made the right choices. Im very aware there is a path of self and its needed. There is no
way to totally live for others all the time while in the body complex. If we dont take care of our self, what do we really have to offer others? Not
too much really.
As I 'emptied my cup' as the famous ADC would say, even all of the things that my higher self/soul group had taught me of my past as a 'self' and
I sought for the Holy Spirit for spiritual wisdom, I had to let go of the 'self' before I could understand purposes and the cycles of 'life'.
Questions would come to me like 'how could someone not desire to fight for their life here'...'how could someone/why would someone turn the other
cheek, while willing to forgive the ones who were trying to take your life'...'was this a requirement of god as people claim'....'was this a
choice of this being for a deeper reason/person'?
Living a life for the Spirit of my 'self' over the life of 'flesh' of my 'self....was a choice that I learned about while seeking this path.
Seeing the spirit that was within me, in every other soul...was a task/practice that I was led through and still am on a daily bases. Finding the
light within every soul. Seeing that this experience and many others are leading the Spirit through purification's, sifting itself through
vessels/tools to weigh and measure many things, has a purpose.
At the deepest core of my being, I learned I was not a 'self' at all. And that may not make sense to others and it does not have to. At the deepest
core vibration, we are One in Spirit....and I make the choice to live for that and not the self. When I say 'live for that'....I dont mean so much
as 'in this life/flesh' but with my life hereafter....I offer to be what ever will serve the Spirit of my other selves. Being willing to be of use
to awaken another part of my soul group, being willing to be the mirror for another self that battles with pride, lust, greed, being willing to be of
use for another self to awaken to the unconditional love that it is, is a offering of the life of self...back to the life of Spirit.
It was after going through many different things that I then felt the need to stay with Earth and saw Earth still having thousands of years to come
with progression. So when I say 'offering of self'....Im not really talking about in this very life I try to always be doing for others....Im
talking more about 'after this life'...incarnating to serve another part of me (in spirit), what ever that may be.
If you want to say....well there is still a reward there that I strive for....that reward is that another self of me finds out about the unconditional
love that is of them, at their deepest core....that another 'self' experiences the Spirit within them. So in a way, looking at the idea that we are
all a ONE in Spirit, I guess you could say that in a sense, making the offering of 'self' to live more for the Spirit then the flesh....I am still
living for the Self....the self of spirit, the one thing that connects us and unites us.
As long as there are other beings/selves experiencing life under the veil, experiencing the world of 'not knowing' purpose ect....I cant rest, I
cant enjoy a heaven, I cant enjoy a 'home'. This is where the offering of self back to the life of Spirit came in...a choice that I am not willing
to leave my other selves while they are still learning and not knowing that the deepest core of them is love.
This sphere has a purpose...all spheres/life has a purpose. That purpose is to consciously, willingly, to unite and try the best they can to live as a
Just as there are what seems to be moments of 'big bangs' (the exhale of a breath)or what have you....there are moments of a 'big collapse' (the
There is reason that we see things in nature live as it does...have you ever looked at ants and watched them work together in a natural way? They just
know what each one needs to do? We, as conscious beings, have a bigger task then the ants and other species of the life of Spirit.... we have to
'choose' to live in unison. We are the only species that treats its own kind with the hate the way us humans do, here on this sphere. We have a long
way to go...and this time right now is a big stepping stone for us as a species. There are vibrations changing while soul/mind complexes are under the
veil which will allow the scale of more humbled souls to incarnate here, which is needed. The complexity of the details...are way beyond my wildest
imagination. But the things I have experienced and believe I have understood show me that we are one in spirit, humanity needs to strive towards
unity, then on a galactic scale...oneness will also be needed. Im just willing to be of use, in what ever place/experience that will help another.
As a self, I know there is no such thing as becoming perfect. There is only so much as a self we can do to improve, become better, ect...
I went through an experience of trying to 'ascend' for 'home/heaven'. What I found was...I was not complete and had no desire to enjoy/be while
something of 'me' was missing. In spirit....I was incomplete. In Spirit....a part of me was not whole....and I could not nor desired to enjoy/rest
in that state. I realized something was missing and as many times as I wanted to try...I couldnt leave the other parts of 'me' that made me whole,
For the Spirit within me, for the truest part of me that was infinite without beginning or end....is what I learned to live for. I learned nothing can
force this understanding upon someone, I learned why free will of the mind is needed, Im realizing that in no way can I explain such things really.
So is there reward, in offering my life of flesh to the will of Divine Spirit? For the Spirit, I hope there is reward, in that its purification/return
to being ONE can be fulfilled. This really isnt really a hope, for I know it will happen. Its perfect, its all perfect....and the cycles and orders
will be what they need to be and will manifest what they are to manifest. I just see that as conscious vessels that hold this spirit, we have are own
job/part in the purification as well. Once one reaches that point of being aware of such things....there is no gong back, there is no denying it for
what it is. Its a mechanical process of Spirit/life.
I know one of the hardest things I had to look at was the idea of incarnating into the life of being a victim at will. The reasons for doing such a
thing I wont go into, for if there is no understanding of why a mind complex would do that, I might defeat someone elses understandings in that. But
it was those kind of moments that I had to let go of the 'self' as a individual to understand why such a choice would be needed or of use. Is being
of use for things of Spirit a reward? I guess when looking at it for the progression of Spirit, the ONE becoming what it is to become...I guess it
could be seen as a reward in Spirit. Its not a reward for the 'self' as a individual that I seek though anymore.
Many look at the 'path of others...STO path' to be something in the here and now. I see it as something beyond here and now, I see it as a choice in
offering, in the next life/incarnation/experience.
And that may all make no sense at all....how does one explain such things>?
It may not resonate at all with anyone here...but that is the best I can do to put it in words.
What would the reward be, for me being willing to incarnate back into a experience of a world like Earth? What would the reward be for me to be
willing to come as a victim even, if need be for another self to learn something from? If there is a reward in letting go of the 'life of self' as a
individual..then it would be a reward for the all, for the part of us all that we share and are connected through. I dont see it as a reward though, I
just see it as living a life more for spirit then of flesh. Its alot more then a choice...its alot of work and that work is alot in the state of the
'self'. Letting go of pride as a individual was the toughest. Some would see such things as a bad thing....its defiantly not something you can just
read a book on or another man tell you of and you just get it. Its for each 'self' to figure and weigh and measure one day, on that 'alone ' path
seeking the deepest core being/vibration that makes you what you are.
The things that began to happen through dreams and within real life around me had alot to do with the reasoning's and understandings I was gaining
too. The family experiences played a part in it all. I also feel, my higher self was a part of it just the same, in helping me as a soul/mind complex,
understand this. Only though, as I was ready. I would almost say that at a certain point of my life, it was as if my higher self stepped down/aside,
so the Holy Spirit could step up/in.
Excuse the rambles...this is the best off the top of my head in response to your thoughts...its not well thought out or no nice flow to it Im sure.
All I can do is share. Each to their own, in their own trials and reasons.