So I helped out an old lady and now Nazi's are after me

Wait...thanked and offered pay by one household member and then attacked by apparently (?) other household members? Or that same member plus others? Elderly neo-nazi mental patients? Is this a halfway house? Multiple residents?

If one person was thankful and the others weren't, why not knock on the door and ask the first person what the deal is? But overall, I go with whoever said that don't help without asking because it can and often does backfire on you.

My good-intentioned neighbor cut my internet cable twice last summer, costing me $190 and a lot of frustration.

[edit on 7/27/2010 by ~Lucidity]

reply to post by hotbakedtater


you really think that he was trying to feel good and doing this all for himself? thats crazy, i thought it was because he already had the lawn mower out and it would take more energy to walk to the door and get an obvious "yes" than it would to just cut the sh!t.


i also dont understand how you think taking the initiative to just do it without expecting anybody to notice or care, is somehow doing it to feel "good". to me it just seems like the job needed to be done so he did it. Like when you see a piece of trash on the ground, do you pick it up because it needs to be picked up? or do you leave it because it's "not yours" or "you didnt leave it there"

if he were doing it to feel "good" he would have walked up and announced the deed so everybody could hug and kiss him and thank him and make him feel all lovey dovey.

personally, i wouldnt want to be the guy with half a lawn mowed. if im walking down the street and see a connected lawn and only half of it is mowed my first thoughts arent "oh wow what a respectful guy for only doing his side"

its more along the lines of "Gee, what an @sshole he couldn't just finish the whole thing?".


just my 2 pesos...

There are several points to make. Like someone said, no good deed goes unpunished.

To tell people to stop doing good deeds because someoen threw golf balls at you is in epic fail in the spirituality dept.

When you do a good deed. It stops there. Secure people don't need compensation. Some people react badly. But you can go to sleep at night.

When you die and meet your maker, you can face them. When other people go, they are gonna have to report a different story.

If I try to do right by someone, my expectations stop there. And I know I can expect any multiple retributions from it.

Then there is the psychological aspect of it. The emotional state of older people are rarely considered. The fact is, you could of out right offeneded them. Was the guy a veteran?

The worst part of aging is the losing of capabilities. And seniors do not like to be reminded that they are incapable.

You did a nice thing. And I applaud you for that. But instead of having a knee jerk emotional reaction, look at this from their pov.

You might of offended them, when you cut their grass, that you were insinuating their yard looks like crap. It would be akin to someone coming and pruning yoru trees for you.
And then you might of made them, especially if there is a vet in the house, that they are incompetent. If you are a young strong capable male, would you like a young kid to come out of the grocery store and offer to put your bags in the car for you? That might be how they feel.

Third, physical: they may have dementia or alzheimers. They may be perceiving somethign that isn't there.

Fourth, sometimes you can't make seniors happy. They like to be curmudgeons.

Since both areas have 1 landlord, has anyone here that suggested he not tresspass considered, what if the 1 landlord had asked him to do both lawns. Ofcourse it doesnt state he did, but IF he did and the neighbours still lobbed golfballs what then? clearly no one can say he trespassed. If anything, I say call the landlord and inform him of the intent of mowing both lawns, then perhaps he might even get a bit of a discount on the rent. That's what we do here, when a tennant mows the lawn and/or does some handywork and maintenance, we give them a bit of a discount on the rent. I say talk to the landlord, let him know you will be mowing the lawn to keep the place looking good so he can inform the neighbors that you have been given liberty to maintain the lawn. Many places hire maintenance crews, as long as the landlord hires or gives the OK it is not trespassing.

Well I appreciate those who have done good deeds for me and I'm not even an old guy yet.

After I bought my first house and moved in mowing the lawn was on my list but not at the top.

Of course I first had to buy a lawnmower before I could mow the lawn. I'm kind of a research fanatic when it comes to shopping, so buying a lawnmower means deciding what I need for my property and then seeing what's available and where I can find the best deal.

Anyway I came home from work one day and my lawn was mowed and edged before I had a chance to. I never knew who did it and it happened several times the 8 years I owned that house. Always done when I was away.

So anyway thanks for mowing my lawn.

Heres a few points...remember when dealing with seniors...
They resent, in many cases, their infirmities: its very frustrating to loose those powers and freedoms.
When they get it shown to them that these things do indeed exist and prevent them from having a normal life, they can get irate and very unreasonable to deal with.
This is a stage you will also go though and have to deal with.
In another vein, its very common for people to rip off seniors for services they neither asked for nor ordered preformed.
They are also overcharged and cheated on a regular basis by inumerable persons who they deal with.
Many become defensive because of being abused by the unscrupulous.
There are simple courtesies that neighbours must subscribe to even when they are familiars.
The most basic of which is to respect with the utmost their property and ownership rights within their own borders.
You meant well....misjudged the mindset of the neighbour and should be more humbly appologetic and make a point of being public about it to some extent....
The old gent obviously is an individual character, and may be worth getting to know on a more friendly basis over time,
take the golf balls back with an apology if you can pull it off....
itll get you further than anything else, and if there is no remedy you know immediately and can retreat with some honour and respect shown to him.prhaps the tee shots will abate.MHO anyways

A bit of an update.

The woman who initially thanked me came by the house just a while ago. She offered me some blueberries and thanked me again for mowing the lawn.

I told her some errant golf balls may have come from her direction and asked if she wanted them back.

She laughed and shook her head and said "just keep those, the less he has the better"

Seems like the father and the son are just douchebags and she knows it.

If I dont post over the next couple of days it means the blueberries were poisoned and she was in on it the whole time.

what a nice lady, i hope i have a wife that will deal with my shinanigans like that when im an old fart, and love me just the same.

i say theres hope for the guy if hes got a wife like that around him.

cheers for mowin' the lawn least u got some berries.


hopefully they arent GMO

Originally posted by thisguyrighthere


Seems like the father and the son are just douchebags and she knows it.

If I dont post over the next couple of days it means the blueberries were poisoned and she was in on it the whole time.

Well, that does explain a lot. She has probably been after those 2 for a while to cut the lawn. When you did it, that cast a bad light on 'em!

Hopefully, she brought you their share of the blueberries!

i suggest a .45 with hollow points. when that redneck scum hops over your fence the first time put fifteen bullets in their diet.

Originally posted by thisguyrighthere
reply to post by hotbakedtater

 

Ive only referred to the hostile individuals with derogatory names. Names which by numerous accounts about town are founded and adequate.

I didnt stop to announce my intentions for a host of reasons. Perhaps in hindsight it was foolish. I had already mowed much of the connecting area, the mower isnt most reliable and if I had stopped it it may not have started again, I had mowed that lawn for months before they moved in, I worried if I had asked permission they would have suspected a scam or extortion and refused the help, etc...

I thought if I just did it it would be done and that'd be the end of it.

Maybe all valid reasons maybe all invalid. Still those were some of my reasons at the time. I just kept mowing until I was done.

When she came out to thank me I felt I had made the right choice.

I dont need anyone to make me "feel" better. I just dont want anyone hurling stones at my house.

If they are indeed crazy asking them for permission would have incited the same harassing treatment and going over there now to apologize would only embolden the psychotic behavior.

I'll wait until I happen to see the wife about town and talk to her. Of the three she is the least insane. Unless her politeness and appreciation is all an act.

I just wanted to let you know I did not intend to hurt your feelings or be rude in my response to you, so forgive me if you felt I was attacking.

I was just adding some food for thought to the thread, and again good luck with the lady and the situation.

Originally posted by LurkerMan
reply to post by hotbakedtater

 

i also dont understand how you think taking the initiative to just do it without expecting anybody to notice or care, is somehow doing it to feel "good". to me it just seems like the job needed to be done so he did it. Like when you see a piece of trash on the ground, do you pick it up because it needs to be picked up? or do you leave it because it's "not yours" or "you didnt leave it there"

if he were doing it to feel "good" he would have walked up and announced the deed so everybody could hug and kiss him and thank him and make him feel all lovey dovey.

Let me address these two points.

One, you are saying he DID do it out of kindness, and without wanting anyone to notice or care.

His entire posts contradicts this. The derogatory comments prove he is giving a huge care that he did not receive the thanks or appreciation he felt he deserved for doing a kindness.

We would not have been invited into this situation if it were a true kindness, true kindness is not to be bragged upon but done for the good of the other person, with out fan fare.

The point of introducing yourself and announcing to the kindness recevers is explained partially in my other post, but I will reiterate, as it is important and goes toward building a stronger community and better neighbor ties in the long run, which are good to cultivate.

Elderly people can often be sitting ducks for crime, and scams. They are often weak and have medical ailments, and if they watch the news, our world which is much different than yon may frighten them.

The reason to ask first is to alleviate any fears these elderly folks may have. Also, by asking you alleviate the sceptor of trespass, and the entire favor and kindness is above board to all parties.

Some folks old and young have something called PRIDE.

Possibly someones pride was injured in this incident, and how would the mower know, as he/she only thought of how good the favor would make him/her feel, as opposed to a few minutes of permission and chit chat before embarking upon the nicety, to see how it would make them feel.

Originally posted by hotbakedtater

One, you are saying he DID do it out of kindness, and without wanting anyone to notice or care.

His entire posts contradicts this. The derogatory comments prove he is giving a huge care that he did not receive the thanks or appreciation he felt he deserved for doing a kindness.

My problem was with being assaulted.

Lack of assault would have been preferable to surplus of assault.

The derogatory comments are factual descriptions come to find. They are indeed violent supremacists as per the wife/mother.

Wow didn't see that one coming. I can think of a whole bunch of illegal things to do but they are illegal.

Please correct me if I overlooked something, but how do we know that the lobbing of the golf balls was in direct relation to the mowing of the lawn? Maybe they thought you had left the golf balls behind when you mowed and they were throwing them back? or were angry you littered golf balls on their freshly mowed lawn? there are too many variables to assume it's because you mowed without asking. but ill assume anyway...

Probability, though, says they were jealous because your a happy hot-shot with your fancy gas mulching-mower and came over to rub it in. In otherwords, they were simply haters, and you were happy. Welcome to humanity. I applaud you for helping your neighbor, if everyone chipped in a little for each other ...

No good deed goes unpunished

reply to post by thisguyrighthere


OK, I invested the time, I've read all the posts. I'll ASSUME (since alot of that is being done here) that you missed my other post.......

Assaulted? With golf balls?? Really???? While I'm not doubting that he threw golf balls at your house..... Assaulted?

I'm having a really hard time believing that you're still offended by this.

She brought the blueberries. You're not dead. How about let bygones be bygones? You'll live to fight another day???

I used to have a 70 yr old friend who said "Get over yourself"......

Getting myself into a flame retardant state of mind now.

I agree with nixie_nox. Sometimes when you do something nice for people it can be taken the wrong way. people think someone mowing their unkempt lawn is another way of you saying, "your lawn needs mowing and youre too lazy to do it so I'm going to do it for you." Although the intentions are completely otherwise, that's the result of failing to communicate. This entire thread was made due to lack of communication. In the end, the lady came back and things were made right (mm blueberries )Perhaps asking what the reason was in the first place for the golf balls being shot would have really cleared things up and eradicated all the neo nazi/no good deed goes unpunished crap.

[edit on 27-7-2010 by matrixportal]

EDIT for spelling

[edit on 27-7-2010 by matrixportal]

I think we have a new conspiracy theory here. I can see the headlines now : "Mentally Impaired Neo-Nazi Golfers Are Infiltrating U.S. Cities!!!"

P.S.
Good for you for doing a good deed for someone, even though you feel it bit you on the a**.....

reply to post by ohioriver


You sir are whats wrong with the current generation.

Unless, of course, your just an old crotchity SOB.

Liberty tried to do a good turn for the elderly folks. In the old days, it was expected to help out your neighbor. You didnt ask (in the case of an overgrown yard), you did it just to be helpful. Comparing something like painting a house to spontaneously mowing a yard out of goodness is just stupid.

Do you hold doors open for ladies without asking them? Likely, you dont even hold a door for someone following you.

Liberty, you're aces in my book. We need more folks like you. If their were, we'd all be in a better state of affairs!