thanks blackpoison for bringing up some interesting questions
when i first read your question, i thought: "no way"
when i married, i married for sure the man i loved - down in 1995
the very man i divorced this year
it was a marriage based on love and respect as i thought.
would an arranged marriage have worked better?
i don.t know.
but marriage out of love is not very old in our history.
in former times even in germany and the whole of europe marriages have been arranged.
it was important to find a woman who was able to share the work of the farmer or crafts man or to represent as queen or duchess.
status was very important for marriages as well as money.
so nobody cared about such a stupid thing as love.
we all know about royal marriages in the 15th 16th or 17th century where the little princess and the little prince engaged with each other at a very
young age - some as babies.
we can.t say nobody complained, certainly some complained as we would complain today. but most have been pretty aware how important this was for the
royal line and the country.
it was important for a woman to be married to be looked after, otherwise she had to enter a monastery.
so the concept of arranged marriages is not unknown to western culture.
marriage for the reason of love is much younger version of marriage than the arranged form.
personally i think that i don.t want anybody to interfere into my life.
but i wouldn.t mind if some friends would introduce a nice guy to me.
what will happen would be up to him and me.
so an arranged marriage if it still includes the free will of both - man and woman - can be a very good thing.
we are not talking about forced marriages of babies and grandpas
the people who are arranging this marriage have to be very careful.
they have to know both parts of the future couple very well, and they have to care very much for them.
so this is a very delicate story.
but even if the marriage is arranged both man and woman should have the right to disagree.
if they meet their future spouse and it really seems not to work, no sympathy occurs, than they should be able to say NO.
stay virgin before marrying:
didn.t work for me
but if you personally want to stay virgin before marrying go for it.
as gimme_some_truth said, it can happen that you find a nice guy and want to go to bed with him.
what me scares about the concept is usually the force that comes along with it.
a girl is forced to stay virgin before marriage, a guy should gain some experience.
heck how shall he gain it, if not with a girl.
and if a girl should remain virgin than a boy should remain too, but first night with the force that it has to happen now, because some people might
want to show a certain bed cloth to proof that marriage is real now, that.s not appealing either.
when i was about your age BP i couldn.t imagine to go to bed with any man. later on only with one the one i would marry in future, and only in our
these thoughts changed later a bit
my honest opinion is that nobody on this world should be forced into things that she doesn.t want to be in.
if you want to keep virginity - do it
if you don.t want - it.s ok either (and nobody should blame you for no reason)
marriage: if arranged is ok - fine
if not - also fine
again without any force.
everything should happen in love and peace and mutual respect!