I love the mask idea... they never come around any more. I had a couple old ladies knock once, so I talked to them. I told them I didn't believe in a 'God', to which they replied "You surely don't believe all these beautiful things like the flowers and trees just 'happened', do you"... actually, yeah. That's exactly what I believe. If you take a closer look at everything around you, you will realize it's fractionated.

Maybe it's karma or something, but I haven't had anyone knocking on my door to 'convert' me since then (aug 1999). I've lived in 9 different places since then (moved like 4 times in a 2 year span). I've been waiting and waiting... and all the Mormon kids just wave and keep riding by. See, if there was a 'God', his minions certainly don't love me... j/k

Forgot to star and flag you before I left for work this morning, THAT was hilarious !!!

I was once at a friend's house. Door rings, he answers. They did look like jw's so he asks:

"You guys Jehovah Witnesses?"

They seemed shy, two guys, one of them nods yes. Then he goes:

"Great, do you know the difference between you guys and a set of testicles?"

Their jaws drop to the floor, so does mine, then he adds:

"No difference, both keep banging at the doors without ever going in!!!!"



edited/grammar

[edit on 22-7-2010 by SonoftheSun]

I lived in a college town when I was around age 19-20 and I had these crazy guys from Rhode Island who lived in the house next door to us. This was in the southeast, and we would regularly get groups of Jehovas Witnesses who would come and canvass our neighborhood on Saturday mornings, usually much earlier than most of us would like.

And every time like clockwork, the car would pull up and several men and women in white button up short sleeved shirts would get out with their carry bags and Jesus literature and proceed to start going door to door, spreading the good word.

Well these guys next door would see them when they were up the block making their way toward the houses on our street, and they would proceed to raise the garage door, and inside of the garage one of them had a stereo system hooked up to a tv....and they would crank this thing up to around 12, and play nothing but the raunchiest, most offensive sounding porn movies that money could buy.

I guess maybe it was wrong on some level, but we would just sit on the porch and watch them as they first tried to ignore it and go about their Godly duties, then after ten or fifteen minutes of loud moaning and groaning and bad porn music, accompanied by a yard full of guys laughing hysterically, they would scramble back to their cars and leave. To their credit they would always come back.

Persistent little buggers, they are.

My reactions depend on the circumstances...


EARLY MORNING (Weekend)
If they come knocking at this time, I will typically converse with them on how Lucifer is the true god of man, and how the morning star will rise up again, to take his rightful place on the throne of Heaven, etc., etc.. It's really fun to see their reactions to this, and I've even seen a few walk very hurriedly away after this...which is fun.

DECENT TIME (and not much else to do at the moment)
Mostly, I get Jehovah's Witnesses, so I then ask them certain questions such as reminding them that only 144,000 people are going to be raptured, and that they must be virgin males, and descended from the 12 tribes of Israel (according to scripture). So, I ask how they recruit women into this, and then say something like, "so let me get this straight, no holidays, no chance at redemption, why are YOU following this?"....

NO TIME
Then I just say not interested, and walk to the car.