Breaking Free from Society

Many of us, as humans, struggle on a daily basis to deal with the limitations that society has placed on us. Throughout time there seems to have been a standard that was set and it is expected that all people live by this standard else their be considered strange, an outcast, or even so much as a failure.

The biggest limitations, however, are self-imposed limitations that you create for yourself. While not a direct result from society, the standards that are "required" for healthy societal living rub of onto people and they find themselves eager to uphold those standards so that they might have a chance to "fit in" with such a society.

However, rather than finding myself struggling to fit in with society, I find myself struggling to break free from the clasp it has on my life without completely disowning my family and friends. I speak often of the self-imposed "loops" of society that they have become a part of but it seems that the more I say, the more I block them out from ever understanding.

You see, I don't believe in the "system" at all. I don't believe in working in a job that I hate every single day of my life just so that I might have a few hours a day doing something I enjoy. I hate the aspect of society that has become so intertwined with money and buying happiness, yet even with the age old phrase of "money can't buy you happiness" people seem to ignore it.

I find myself being harassed constantly about my decisions. I have been out of the real "work force" for almost a year now and over that time I have come to realize that I didn't want to return. Over that time I also had to deal with people in my life pressuring my to get a job, even though I have and maintain my own business. The problem is that my business doesn't make that great of a profit at the time and to them, that classifies me as a failure.

But last week I was offered a job and I accepted it. It was a job in my career field, but I could tell by the description that it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life at all. I instead took it in order to get other people off of my case and for that I am ashamed for giving into the structure of this society. But how is one supposed to win?

I have often thought that perhaps I should just leave my old life behind, run off and be my own man, but at the same time I am too much of a "nice guy" that I couldn't bare hurting my friends and family by leaving them. I enjoy their company and they mine, but at the same time I simply cannot stand their utmost faithfulness to the society that has all but abandoned them.

Many people tell me that I should just take this job, and then later on down the road I can do what I always wanted to do. I reply by asking them what they always wanted to do, revealing that the whole "some day" routine is a ploy to make you believe in something that you will never do, something that you just HOPE might happen. Too many people around me live day in and day out, miserable with their lives and their jobs, many of them just to put food on the table. I don't want to be that person. I would rather die before I became that person.



So what are your thoughts? Has anyone truly broken away from the standards of society or has it been made virtually impossible to do so on your own?

How does everyone deal with the impossible standards and expectations that people around you expect you to live up to? Any advice to help cope or to make them realize their wrongs?


Thanks ahead of time.

You are free from society to the degree that you are self-sufficient.

If you want to be really radical about it, go to a sparsely populated rural area and take up subsistence farming. Then you can really say "# you" to society.

If you are not self-sufficient, then you need society. No way around it. It's something you come to accept in time.

Well, i enjoy my job. I actually like coming to work. The only aspect of my job that i do NOT like, is traveling to and from it. But if that's the only thing i have to complain about....i feel like i have done what you are trying to accomplish. whatever makes you happy can also make you money.

I am willing to bet that you could take any old item, put it up on ebay, and it will eventually be purchased...So think about that one, and find a way to use it to your advantage in whatever it is you do.

reply to post by gwydionblack


My friend, I think what you are trying to say is that you have let yourself be put in a box. You followed expectations and joined the herd. Now you feel trapped, because you are doing something you don't like to do.
Remember this. Work is the group of functions you must perform to provide the basic needs of shelter and food. Two hundred years ago, you may have been a farmer, who works the crops all day in order that you may feed your family and have a few items to sell or barter to obtain other things you need. So while it is unavoidable, absent family money, that doesn't mean you can't follow your own path. Through a series of jobs I took for the same reason, I learned I don't do well with authority or coworkers, but have a unique skill set.
I am now an independent financial services guy, who deals with retirement and estate tax issues. I do what I enjoy, and nobody has any input on my day to day life. Similarly, find your passion and structure it in a similar matter. If you open a business based on your skills, structure yourself as a sole proprieter. This keeps the government out of your life as much as possible. Follow your passion, the rest will take care of itself. You won't be a slave to anyone, but you will be a responsible parent, spouse earning a good living as you follow your passion. Good luck.

Become a freeman-on the land, apparently this movemnt is gathering pace, and is (again apparently) a legit way to drop out of society. Create your own one. It's the akin to being amish, without the religious connetations. It'll take a freaking miricle for this movemnt to gain the power that it deserves, but I have hope that one day, it will be a valid way of living.

*fingers crossed*

your post reminds me of the ninja, let me explain

the ninja, who were first known as the shinobi no mono, were peaceful buddhists that lived in the mountains, who knew about the currupt ways of the samurai in japan and the suffering that their so called honor demanded on the society there

they, like the original post's emotions, wanted nothing to do with that society, so they lived far into the mountains where they were deep in the wilderness and somehwat hard to get to, here they honed their spiritual self untouched by the society that otherwise would hinder their purity

anyways, eventually local farmers around their monestaries started getting harrassed by the curropt government and/or bandits and criminals and they would go to the buddhist shrines to pray for help, when the buddhist monks would hear of their troubles they sometimes would intervene in matters, this is how the ninja were born

anyways my main point in relation to this thread is
that the time of fuedal japan is indescribeable.. we're talking samurai and government that were more perverted and corrupt on power than the brittish over the american colonies by far, add a country divided in civil war and full of criminals doing whatever they want and you can see how difficult it would be to survive during that time
and yet at some point the ninja were born and were so dominative over the course of events, so unstoppable, that for a long time it was literally ILLEGAL to SAY ninja!

one of the philosophies behind the ninja success ( similiar to a philosophy of musashi, coincidence? ) is that one soldier can defeat an army, the basic rythm of battle and martial art is the same on a one to one scale, as a one to onehundred battle, because they knew this they were feared and unstoppable

i bring them up because they were faced alot of the problems that we face in current america, invasive and corrupt government, spiritual and educational lack of, etc

i'm not saying to dress up at night go on ninja missions to solve your problems, but maybe if you have the time, look into the shinobi, you might find some ways to put your mind at ease

you might feel like there is too much pressure, and too many people that are influencing forces that go against your natural way, but ultimately none of that matters, if you play your cards right you will always be able to find personal freedom, and cope with the opposite when it is neccessary



[edit on 7/19/2010 by indigothefish]

I gave you a star and flag because I agree with everything you are saying and I understand your situation.

Breaking away, so to speak, is something I, and friends, have thought about from time to time. We're mostly in our early to mid 20's and we just cant keep the blinkers on and accept the slice of pie that this, thing (society), wants us to.

We spoke about this yesterday. The plan (I'm using that word loosely here), is to buy a BIG ol' plot of land, in-land by the mountains and forests. We'll keep our jobs and such while paying off the land and employ someone to help landscape and maintain the land, readying it for eventual building and farming of certain animals and plants.

It would be nice to follow the yearning and just leave. But, I think, if anyone wants to live away from it all as much as possible they should do it slowly. I am making that my goal... instead of just sitting, being fed up.

unfortunately the realization hits that, no matter HOW hard we try, we'll probably never be fully off the grid... but something's gotta change, and no one seems to, and nothing helps... gotta live for something

Realize for yourself that in your mind you are free from those downtrodding burdens that plague so many others. OK, sure you fell to the pressures of your immediate society when you took a job you did not otherwise want to. However, you know the reason why you did it and you made a sacrifice for your friends and family. There is a measure of nobility in that choice.
As you said, it is more common that people trudge along in their day to day, complaining of this or that, always looking forward to "the weekend" and "payday". They do it because society tells them that they must, so they must. They do it because they have to keep the lights on, food on the table, gas in their car, clothes on their backs, and the water running.
You have a different perspective on this and that makes you a bit more free than the rest. At least you have proven your ability to sustain yourself in a means of your choosing. If you can do it once, you can do it again. When your time is right for you, you can and will step outside of the social norms and once again claim your independence. Of that I have no doubt. For now, you are playing a game with rules and expectations set up by a society that has been and is becoming more and more dependant on the government and social acceptance.

Personally, I do have a regular job, working for someone else to make them money, of which I get a fair share for my daily performance. The kicker is that I actually enjoy what I do and have learned a lot from it. I do not dread my job and have not for over 5 years. I do not feel like I have sacrificed anything to be there.
The norms apply though. It provides me with enough of that green papery stuff that my lights stay on, my cupboards stay stocked, my car runs, my dogs are healthy, and my social outings are at my discretion.
I know that I am playing the game, but I am enjoying it for now.

Luck to you in your new adventure. Enter it with your head high and your will your own. Its most likely a temporary station for you.

Good thread, gwydion.

I, for one, believe that getting 'away' from society is as simple as distance.

Distance yourself from those people, actions and words that you find, in time, make you give in to 'society' ideals.
Don't become a recluse...
People frown upon those that aren't social too.

I am very distanced from people, and surroundings by choice.
I choose not to obey the TV, or Internet, fashion fad or etc...
Trust me, I get my share of harassment.
Just because I have no clue about anything that is broadcast over the TV. (and I secretly laugh to myself) :p
We all know that money rules this world that is why you are frowned upon if you don't put in your 'fair-share' of work...
I have different ideals, and stick to them.


No matter what people say, what religion they are, or how much money they make, one thing takes value over everything else:

MONEY.

Your entire existance, in society, is to make as much as possible, and strive to continually earn more.
Why? Because it is instilled in our brains at school.
Well, probably since birth....
It's disgusting, to me.

You are correct is saying that you should be doing what you love to do.
I bet 70% of the population doesn't.

Even being self-sufficient is next to impossible, only because in this god-forsaken country, you have to pay taxes on everything...and for that you need an income, and for that you get taxed...etc.

So is it worth it? Giving your life up for money?
(rhetorical)

Because, that's what society basically wants you todo.

Be a good worker. Our tax depends on it!

I say just go for it, society is like this film I seen at the weekend and man! it blew me away. All those car/helicopter/on foot chases, it really makes you think. People runnin around (along walls and stuff) fascinating stuff. There might be something in that film which could maybe help you out perhaps. Anyway its called 'The Matrix' hope this helps...

reply to post by gwydionblack


Of course, I agree with you completely so don't give up. It seems like just in the last month we have entered a time period where being free is even more a thing of the past. I saved the thread because I need similar advice. You see, I am in a similar situation and don't know a way out.

I can tell you my main problem, however atm: how do I become happy and relate to people? Although, isn't it funny... relating to people is harder than it used to be anyway.

It seems like everyone has become out for themselves, but it is all a vicious cycle, there isn't enough spiritual juice to go around so people have to be out for themselves in order to survive because it is too hard to be altruistic without enough resources for yourself.

I think the best advice so far that I have followed in the past is to think of the things you have to do in society as a set of functions. You can list these out so that when the lists are completed, you can relax and know that you are safe. That way, you can at least get periods of freedom.

And one thing to think about: isn't the best society one where the individuals are happy? Or have we entered a time period where the best society is one where the society itself as an organism is more important?

I don't know. Something just seems out of balance at the moment. I hope the balance is restored at some point, or that people do not forget what it was like living in the past.

[edit on 19-7-2010 by darkbake]

I think society has an expectation of you, and that is that you pull your own weight. Nobody should have to shell out to keep you in food & shelter. Society puts out for you for the first couple of decades of your life. If you have a state university education, society spent tens of thousands of dollars subsidizing it. It cost a lot more than you paid. So there is an expectation of payback here.

If after all this you 'don't like' society, then don't make decisions that bind you to society even tighter. Don't get married; don't have kids. Don't take on debt. Make a plan to divorce yourself from society and stick to it. It could be a 'five year plan' or whatever, but there's no reason you can't do it of you're serious.

I have a suspicion you 'like' 'society' a little more than you let on. After all, you're using a computer you didn't invent participating in an Internet-based society expressing your opinion.

If you REALLY don't like society, get off the grid.

reply to post by NewlyAwakened


I am indeed self sufficient, at least enough to survive. However, to maintain anywhere close to a decent standard of living would be next to impossible. Regardless of all the 'stuff' I have thought, I would probably much more happy living out of the system.



reply to post by astrogolf


I'm afraid my true passions, since a young age have taken a back door. The things that I wanted to do with my life were criticized from an early age and scorned to be worthless and stupid ideas. So instead I went to school for a degree that I mildly enjoyed and have been working in ever since.

I created my business using the skills earned from my degree, with the hope of expanding it into something more associated to my passions. Of course, the restrictions of money on expansion are quite relevant in such a situation.

The only reason I am happy doing what I do at my business, is because I do it for myself and because I want to do it, not because somebody else tells me to do it. I have a big problem with authority and lack of freedom, and owning my own business, regardless of the profits or the job I do, makes me happy in its own right.

Now, thanks to this job, I will inevitably have no time for my business and what comes next, we shall see in time.



reply to post by Acidtastic


Oh how I would love to do such with my life. But alas, I wouldn't want to do it alone. As much as I dislike society I don't know how much I could go without some form of company with similar ideals.



reply to post by indigothefish


That is very insightful. I have always studied Buddhism to an extent, but I have never dabbled in shinobi. I will have to check it out. Thank you.



reply to post by Jimjolnir


It sounds like an excellent plan you have. I have a friend or two that has the same interests as I do, however, when push comes to shove I am the only one ever willing to take the plunge. They always find some excuse not to do it or even start to do it.

I wish the best and hopefully the people you are planning with don't flake out at the last minute.




reply to post by havok


You put it best. It becomes impossible to distance yourself (legally) without dealing with the green beast. They tax you for earning and tax you for living. But, I'm not afraid to avoid the law which is so poignant to disregard my liberty. If given the chance, I could care less about taxes and income.




reply to post by darkbake


You put it best. Everyone is out for themselves. They will even go out of their way to make other people do things that make them happy. For instance my family tries to hide me under the rug on occasion because they feel I make them look bad. They aren't worried about making ME look bad, they are worried about making THEM look bad.

Why should it even matter? If they don't want to have anything to do with me then these people should disown me, not try to force me to change because that will never happen. Call it hard headed or whatever you like, but I would much rather be my own man alone than be a sheep within a herd.

In a weird way, selfishness has created a society of togetherness. It doesn't make much sense but when everyone is out only for themselves, at least they have something in common.



reply to post by schuyler

Nobody should have to shell out to keep you in food & shelter.

Who would be shelling out? I have you know that not once, EVER in my life have I collected any sort of handout or free pass from this lovely government of ours.

Society puts out for you for the first couple of decades of your life.

No, my family put out for me for the first two decades of my life. My family has never accepted any government aid either. It was through their work and their natural responsibilities as a parent that I was cared for. It isn't like society through a bunch of cash in donation for my well being.

If you have a state university education, society spent tens of thousands of dollars subsidizing it. It cost a lot more than you paid. So there is an expectation of payback here.

I went to a technical school. It was paid for through loans that I - not anyone else - is expected to pay out. Sure that money was fronted to me, all 26 thousand dollars of it, but that is my responsibility and if it rests with anyone else, it rests on the shoulders of the financing companies. I have no intention of shirking my payment for that, however, I can guarantee that my schooling was not worth more than what I have to pay for it.

When schooling in China costs only 1/3 of what we pay and has a higher standard of quality, there is no way anyone is convincing me that my half-arsed degree was actually worth it's weight in paper.

I have a suspicion you 'like' 'society' a little more than you let on.

Perhaps I should rephrase it. I enjoy being in society, however, I absolutely abhor when society tells me I can't do something because it is not in line with their thinking. This happens QUITE FREQUENTLY.

Following the norms of society doesn't mean that I am incapable of seeing the perks in a personal invention. Now if I were to be a Twitter fiend using this computer, just because everyone else thinks it is "hip and cool" then maybe I would be conforming to that society.



As far as marriage, I don't plan on it. It is an unnecessary bond that can be made in a number of different ways that doesn't entail selling your soul to government or a religion. Children? Well I'm not going to let society dictate how I have children or how I raise said children. Children are the biggest aspect of life in which the dominant society wants to get their grubby little fingers on an raise them how they feel they should be. I do not believe in that system whatsoever.

Trust me, I could get off the grid if ever I wanted to. I simply do not want to do it alone and so far in my travels, I haven't found anyone who is as serious about it as I am. Right now, until I find someone or multiple people to join me, then I will instead opt to find out how to cope and disregard society as it is.

regarding your statement tat it was your parents, not government, that provided for your first two decades. Dude, "society" is not "government." Society includes your parents.

Trust me, I could get off the grid if ever I wanted to. I simply do not want to do it alone and so far in my travels, I haven't found anyone who is as serious about it as I am. Right now, until I find someone or multiple people to join me, then I will instead opt to find out how to cope and disregard society as it is.

I think that is a contradiction. Already you can't contemplate being without society, i.e.: Other people. You willingly took on debt to get a degree (or certificate or something) that you now say is no worth anything. Were you forced to do that? Were you forced to make that decision? It's good that you are taking responsibility for it, but if you are serious, get out. Don't just complain about it. Show your stuff, make a plan, and get out.

reply to post by schuyler


I like to be with people that aren't afflicted by societal standards. While myself and everyone else may be a part of that society, there are those of us that choose to distance ourselves from the standards.

For instance, myself and many of my friends are Straight Edge. We don't drink, do drugs, or participate in promiscuous sex, even though society deems it as the "normal" thing to do. We don't buy in to fashion statements, we don't do things in order to impress other people, and we don't change our characters around certain people in order for them to feel more comfortable around us.

Yes, inevitably we are all a part of that "society" but we are all given the choice to take part in their nihilistic rituals or not. It isn't a contradiction because I never said I wanted to break away from people altogether, I just want to leave their sick expectations and standards behind.

reply to post by gwydionblack


I know what you mean dude this society just does nothing for me, or to be more precise it does very little for me. I ain't into partying and sleeping around like most boys and girls now a days, or even into pretending that I am into those things. Fashion means nothing to me exempt in some things like computers or video games but that is just a hobby and if it came to it I would drop it and fast its fun but not worth the slavery of a messed up system, for it.
As for the whole women/kids thing it gives me a headache just thinking about them not because of social limitations but because when I look at them I see more of a hassle then fun or understanding, as they like to say, ultimately they all like to say don't treat them like objects or cars, but how else is one supposed treat someone who is exactly like a car if you don't pay the bills or take care of it, then bye bye no more car. Women and objects have lots in common, more then they like to admit, and at the end if that is all, it will fall and fade no matter how much pretending they do.

As for fitting in the system, I don't have to try to fit into the system, I never fit in it and most likely never will no matter how hard I try, and anyone that thinks a little can see the huge limitations of this system, but its been proven that humans are pretty adaptable and they can adapt to living into any type of #ty civilization from total slavery to this one. # even the north koreans that are starving and basically slaves to a midget dictator and propaganda think they are having the best of what life can offer. I don't have to lose my faith in society or money because I never had faith in those things, you can't lose what you never had now can you.

I agree with you about that whole some day routine, but some preparation is required and therefore necessary. But this whole busting your balls till your old, just to get to do something you always wanted is insanity, I have meet some people who dream of doing something like going to some tropical island when old and chilling on the beach, and I always look at them like they are insane and think "what the hell with the money you spend on half of what it took you to buy that car you could be on a beach having fun right now, I don't think it will be as much fun when you are old and worrying about your blood pressure".

But society has some benefits and some crappy things in it, but it depends greatly to what you are conditioned to and are into. Some even like there jobs but those are only the people that have jobs that pay well and they enjoy, and those kind of jobs are rare in a conformist pyramid society.
Also a word of warning you can break out of the system if you wanted to, either in a group or even by yourself, but remember that it's not in that you can, anyone can if they really wanted to, but think along the lines should you really or are you going through a phase, you cant do this thing half assed. Either go all the way or don't go at all. And its not as bad as the people in the so called civilized city's say it will be, I remember reading about people who lived by them selfs in Alaska basically mountain men/self sufficient, and every time they came to a town or talked to a person, from an account of people that actually studied them. They were never really them selfs again, I mean when they were talking to regular people, one guy wrote that they were not really there, when talking to people they had an aversion of city's or huge crowded places and always keept looking the mountains as if to say "let's get this over with so I can go on, this place sucks." So basically you get used to being with yourself you don't really need other people, you condition yourself to being in that habitat whether it's by yourself, or in a farming/small tech community, or a big huge metropolis, conditioning has a lot to do with it and its not easy going from one to another regardless were you started in. Me I am sort of stuck in between and that is were most of my grief comes from, one can't do both worlds.... because they are whole different worlds. But that does not mean I can't try.