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Is it wrong to want an online relationship, to fill the void?

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posted on Jul, 15 2010 @ 11:14 PM
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Do you consider online relationships cheating? Is it really wrong to have a caring relationship with another online? Or do you think its still cheating?

Would you prefer if a person was actually "seeing" someone else?

I don't really see any harm in it, especially if it doesn't really include physical contact. But many seem to be divided on this one. If your relationship is lacking, should it be so wrong that you find a companion else where, without actual cheating.

Sometimes when you start to like someone else you tend to see something that you lack in your current relationship, and can decide whether or not to even continue on with that person. Would you consider that more or less threatening?

Here's an example:

Lets say that you have a hobby or love sites such as this, but your significant other does not, and you "meet" someone that you have the same interests with here, and possibly talk off line, and maybe even start to care for each other, but are in a relationship.

Do you feel that 2 people only having the same interests can actual turn into something else, or can 2 people care for each other, and stay with the people their with?

Peace to you...




posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 04:50 AM
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If both the people in question were single then I'd think it possible something could work out between the both of them. It's not impossible.

If one or both is already in a relationship, then that's going to cause problems. If there are problems in your real life relationship then they need to be addressed, otherwise an online relationship will only cause further problems.

Like I said online relationships are not impossible, but you have to think long and hard about what you are getting involved with, because there is always the potential it might not work out.

I've been there, done it and bought the t-shirt.



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 05:21 AM
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I think you have to take into account the feelings of this online friend too, I mean what if they don't want to just fill a void? and don't have a partner at home for the 'other stuff' and where would this kind of relationship go? Do you just stay satisfied with computer love for the rest of your days? It's not an easy one to crack is it?



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 07:11 AM
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Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
Do you consider online relationships cheating? Is it really wrong to have a caring relationship with another online? Or do you think its still cheating?

You are talking to a real person, with real feelings, saying things that you should be saying to your partner. YES it IS cheating.

Would you prefer if a person was actually "seeing" someone else?

I don't really see any harm in it, especially if it doesn't really include physical contact. But many seem to be divided on this one. If your relationship is lacking, should it be so wrong that you find a companion else where, without actual cheating.

If your relationship is lacking in something, you should be addressing that with your partner, not someone else whether over the internet or not.

Sometimes when you start to like someone else you tend to see something that you lack in your current relationship, and can decide whether or not to even continue on with that person. Would you consider that more or less threatening?

I have seen, and even been a part of what happens when you find someone online whom you share things in common with, and it's easy to develop feelings for that person. But online it's , as you have pointed out..easier to dismiss because there is no physical contact that most would constitute as cheating. But it is. Emotional infidelity is the first step to actual infidelity. Put the shoe on the other foot. Would you appreciate your partner talking online to someone else, saying all the things you long to hear, to another person?

Here's an example:

Lets say that you have a hobby or love sites such as this, but your significant other does not, and you "meet" someone that you have the same interests with here, and possibly talk off line, and maybe even start to care for each other, but are in a relationship.

It is one thing to share interests, quite another to develop that into a relationship. Keep it simple.

Do you feel that 2 people only having the same interests can actual turn into something else, or can 2 people care for each other, and stay with the people their with?

If you have issues with your current partner, you either work 100% to correct them, or you move on. If you are only giving part of yourself to that person, and the other part to someone else online..What do you expect will happen?

Peace to you...

Peace to you as well...

[edit on 16-7-2010 by AccessDenied]



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 07:11 AM
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Cheating is cheating.

If you are involved with someone in real life, you should not seek out online relationships. Friendships, yes. However make sure your significant other knows who you're talking to and what you're talking about.

Take ATS for intsance, my wife obviously knows I'm here, she knows there are females here. Does she mind, no. Why, because she can come here any time and see what I'm up to. Well except for U2U's, and I'd gladly let her read any of them any time.

Take my being a Mod, of course there are behind the scenes stuff that I'm involved in with female staff members, again, it's strictly professional and friendly only.

Now, theres the whole thing of, it's just an online friend / buddy. What if the day comes that you want to meet that person in real life? It could happen. This certainly shouldn't be done, while you're in a relationship, unless you take your significant other along. Why can't you all be friends?

One, I wouldn't abuse my wife's trust like that, two in my opinion it's just wrong.

If you're not getting everything you want out of the relationship that you are in, then maybe you're in the wrong relationship. Harsh but true.

Those are my thoughts, I hope you find what you're looking for and wish you the best.



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 08:27 AM
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Just leave it alone man, we all want AD, but it's just not going to happen, there is a reason her username is AccessDenied. It's called take a hint bro!




posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 09:16 AM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


I myself think that it would be cheating if you had a relationship online with someone if your in a relationship already offline.My husband and i met online on yahoo started as just friends when we were both in a relationship offline and then a year later we were together offline.If the relationship your in now is missing something that you need to find in someone else then you need to either fix the problem with the one your with offline or end it if its not fixable and find someone new.Seriously it is basicly like going to a ho house cause the one your with dont give u the things u like or the way you like it but the ho will.
Ciao



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 09:47 AM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


So..... any port in a storm eh?



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 10:10 AM
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Originally posted by whatukno
Just leave it alone man, we all want AD, but it's just not going to happen, there is a reason her username is AccessDenied. It's called take a hint bro!





posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 10:55 AM
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Cheating is no different even if it's an online relationship. Emotional cheating is just the same. I don't agree with having an online relationship when one is currently in a relationship.

Edit to add..

My bf and I don't have all the same interests and there are guys I talk to daily with whom I have tons in common with but I'm not gonna leave my bf because we don't agree on everything. This is normal in relationships, you have to learn to compromise and if it's really that bad then maybe you just aren't meant to be with this person. Don't do the online dating thing unless you are single, it's still cheating!

[edit on 7/16/2010 by mblahnikluver]



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 12:51 PM
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If one is in a relationship and seeks physical, emotional comfort (at the expense of one's real life partner) than it's cheating, whether it's on-line, in real life, whatever...



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 02:02 PM
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Online cheating is still cheating, any way you look at it....

Do you keep it a secret? YES
Do you feel guilty? YES
Would it hurt your partner's feelings? YES

There you go. You can try and sugarcoat it if you like, but it is what it is....

Online flirting should be enough to "fill the void"...but if it isn't, then the void is probably the problem, and that should be solved in the real world....



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 02:26 PM
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Well, its definetly still cheating, even if its online. Cheating doesnt have to be physical, it can be emotional also. And ive met alot of woman who have said emotional cheating made them feel worse than if the man was just cheating physically.

It is very possible a relationship online can work out, but its hard.

If your not happy with your current partner to where you feel like you have to venture outwards, its probably best to end the relationship and or, try to work on it more and let your partner know about how you feel.

Edit to add: A little ole thing my friend told me. If you wouldnt do it if your partner was in the room, its cheating.

[edit on 16-7-2010 by Jess_Undefined]



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 03:02 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


Is it wrong to want an Online relationship to fill the void?

Well my thoughts on the subject are-

~By having an Online relationship, arnt you just adding more strife to this void? By talking to some unknown person you may have never met face to face, your just dodging your actual problems in your relationship.

~ Why waste time acting out some Online fantasy to stimulate your desires when you can actually talk to your partner about whatever problem you have, be it lack of physical or mental stimulation.

~ If you havnt got a partner and are desperate to fill that void, by relying on the internet your just adding to the problem and making it worse. Staying indoors, stuck in your shell. Refusing to get out of your habitat.
Get off that computer and stop talking to that person that you suspect is fake (yet you play along because your still optermistic that their real and you 'may' get lucky..)

If you have a partner who isnt meeting your expectations, you'll just have to face the fact that your probably not right for each other.

Trying to establish an Online relationship is tantamount to cheating and sub-conciously your giving up and giving into your desire to have an on-line 'fling'
no matter who you are or whatever your prefrences.

Before you know it, your partner will be saying your the one who ignores the relationship...because you spend to much time talking to someone else on the internet.

eee.



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 08:02 PM
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Originally posted by AccessDenied

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
Do you consider online relationships cheating? Is it really wrong to have a caring relationship with another online? Or do you think its still cheating?

You are talking to a real person, with real feelings, saying things that you should be saying to your partner. YES it IS cheating.
AccessDenied]


I totally agree with my girl here 100%!! Yes it is cheating!!
How you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot lets say?

How would you take it, if you loved someone.. And that person is in love with a person online.. Granted there is no physical contact.. its only a matter of time before that happens...

Falling in love online can be a dangerous game..

I try to stay away from online things when I am with someone.. Just out of the pure respect I give the person I am with..

Respect is key... If you have no respect for them.. Then you can do what ever you want too..



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 08:16 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 



Relationships don't need to be limited to only 2 people.

Perhaps all three of you could get together and work things out so that there would be no injured parties, no hurt feelings and no cheating.

Just a Party!!

That's been my solution in the past and it worked out just fine. Of course my lifestyle is unconventional to say the least.

Take a Walk on the Wild Side!!



[edit on 16-7-2010 by whaaa]



posted on Jul, 16 2010 @ 08:24 PM
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reply to post by whaaa
 


Whoo hoo!! Right you are Whaa!! Relationships do not always have to be just 2 people...
BUT.. And a big BUT... make sure the person you are with is totally on the up and up.. And is totally into that.. Otherwise you are asking for DRAMA city!!

Ive had my days of open relationships.. Heck.. My last one worked out that way.. She wanted to be with more than 1 person.. I said, sorry dear, been there done that, No thanks..
She liked girls too.. So its not like she wanted more men.. Just more women.. I just happen to feel real love lasts between 2 people..
Rarely does it work with more than 2 people.. But hey.. This is going way off topic.. So U2 me about it if you want...



posted on Jul, 17 2010 @ 07:34 PM
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Originally posted by whaaa
reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 



Relationships don't need to be limited to only 2 people.

Perhaps all three of you could get together and work things out so that there would be no injured parties, no hurt feelings and no cheating.

Just a Party!!

That's been my solution in the past and it worked out just fine. Of course my lifestyle is unconventional to say the least.

Take a Walk on the Wild Side!!



[edit on 16-7-2010 by whaaa]




Whaaa, did I ever tell you that you are my hero?

The "Kinky Kowboy"....lmao
You are a bad bad man.



posted on Jul, 17 2010 @ 08:13 PM
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Originally posted by BlackOps719






Whaaa, did I ever tell you that you are my hero?

The "Kinky Kowboy"....lmao
You are a bad bad man.


Now I'm about to cry! I don't think Iv'e ever had such a nice compliment.



posted on Jul, 18 2010 @ 11:11 PM
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Is it wrong to want an online relationship, to fill the void? Yes!

You don't know what you're getting into. The `significant other` could be a nutball or criminal or govt agent. Trust me: There are lots of creepy bad guys out there ready to prey on your weaknesses. WTF would you want to `pass the time` by sharing personal PROBLEMS with an unknown electronic entity? Yuch.

That's why it is best to use the buddy system. If you have cousins, friends or lots of people close to you, they could be your `eyes and ears` and find out what character you've got, if you so choose to meet in person.

Meet in person is better than through the damn internet. That way you can assess the REAL quirks of your `love interest`. Yuch. Good luck. Yuch.

[edit on 2010-7-18 by pikypiky]



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