Originally posted by Haydn_17
I remember discussing this in my English class 3 years ago, we argued if some people are born evil, it's in there DNA, we also argued people getting
influenced by TV and other things, and this determines there mindset.
What do you think?
This is more cathartic than anything but I don't think it is off topic.
The terminally bored only should continue because I don't have anything very scientific...but memories...
In kindergarten a little girl was moving away, she hugged another girl, I thought I saw tears, the 2 were getting emotional. I remember wondering what
that was all about? I stared at them, unfamiliar with affectionate loss, friendship and that kind of love. It was a curiosity to me... this
My adopted mother used to say ...you are a bad seed little girl. I would dig out from under the large cage attached to the side of the house, and walk
1/2 mile to a creek where there was a small island in the middle. I stared at the island and watched the water rush by. Eventually they adopted a fat
dalmatian named Pepper, and she dug out with me, squeezed under the wire fence and came to the creek too.
When I was 3 or 4, no older since I hadn't started school yet I remember running through the house pretending to be an airplane. It was a long house
so I had built up a good speed when I slid on the bathroom rug and went headlong into the tub.
They threw me up on top of an ironing board, my mother father, and Uncle Bob. My mom and dad seemed to be deferring to Uncle Bob calling for ice and a
flashlight. They were looking at me strangely as if I'd grown another head and decided to take me to hospital, where we didn't wait long.
I had an "egg" I learned later but could not see then...after some conversation went straight into the x-ray.
The nurse was the most beautiful woman I ever saw off television and I remember watching her and listening to her every word.
She did ask me an awful lot of questions while mom and dad were filling out the paperwork. I thought she was interested in me and so I answered her
eagerly. I felt very encouraged and supported by this new found friend.
Now I realize the woman was checking to see if I had been abused at home. She told me something like she was my friend no matter what, even more than
my parents to me...all this was odd but I thought it was again, because she liked me. Kids.
Anyway I was liking this pretty woman in the starched white dress and jaunty cap, a nurse, like in the soap operas I saw everyday on TV...
...then she asked me to look thing that rolled over me. I was asking her a lot of questions about it before submitting.
Finally she told me if I loved in there I would see a little birdy inside.
I had never heard a lie before but I remember thinking...I am going to be disappointed if there is not a little birdy inside this thing and I think I
had seen one of these at the dentist so I doubted it very much.....Needless to say...
Our fast friendship was gone in an instant. She was just lying to me.
In this permanently hard wired moment I understood not only what a lie was but how it might be used to get people to do what you want.
It was remarkable to me I did not have a tendency to lie built in yet.
It was an ah ha moment.
Later on recalling this incident which I think is my earliest memory, and remembering not knowing what a lie was until this moment.
often, and like to think that none of us were there not the first lie, none of us would need to (or have thought to) lie on our own....and then this
might be extended to every bad thing. These are learned behavior's.
Later in life...oh about 8, the parents decide to reveal that yes, I was adopted and both my real parents were criminals.
They showed me newspaper clippings of their escapades...stealing cars and robbing banks. Dad looked like a Viking, I'd already learned they beat
Columbus to the Americas, all in white, thin gaunt, tall and pathetic looking in handcuffs being dragged away for a bank robbery. Everyone else in my
family had dark hair and dad had brown skin and a widows peak lots of black hair...up to now I had not wondered why I was the only one with blond
Mom, I was told in the home schooling session that day, was a lesbian who turned tricks and sported tattoos. She was a gambler and a drinker.
In the 50's this was
all considered a little riskque. Mom got involved with an even worse crew and a lesbian lover after she divorced my
They left her atop a bank after a robbery, her getaway helicopter did not show up. I couldn't see her face. She had her head down in the clipping
that was faded and folded, her hands were in cuffs also and covered her face like she was crying.
Shocking as you might think all this would be to a kid...I remember mostly thinking about another girl in my school named Carol who the teacher always
deferred to, pointing out was adopted whenever there was a discussion about parents or family units...I remember it crossed my mind..."Oh Carol have
I got a story for you!"
I didn't feel bad or anything...To tell the truth, I was a little relieved my mother was not my mother, she had her own issues....(planning to wrote
stories about her agoraphobia)
I do vividly remember there-after trying to feel if there was a genetic disposition, though of course, I did not know it was called that then. I
wondered if there was a "devilish streak" inside me from my natural parents, or if my mom was just a little crazy herself...?.
Mom and I even watched The Bad Seed together. I remember thinking, I could never be like that girl. She absolutely terrifies me. My mother would
still sometimes look at me hard and focused, trying to see something
, and as if I might snap at any moment and slaughter the household.
She used to make me laugh.
[edit on 16-7-2010 by rusethorcain]