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Taliban trains 'monkey terrorists' to attack U.S. troops

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posted on Jul, 12 2010 @ 06:29 AM
Afghanistan's Taliban warlords have developed a bizarre way to deal with foreign forces: they have trained monkeys who love to eat bananas and peanuts to be killers.

Taliban forces have taught monkeys how to use the Kalashnikov, Bren light machine gun and trench mortars. They also teach them how to identify and attack soldiers wearing U.S. military uniforms.

posted on Jul, 12 2010 @ 06:36 AM
This has got to be the most illegitimate source, and visual proof I have ever stumbled upon. Besides everyone knows it's the United States training monkeys to fight the Taliban. Here is my proof.

posted on Jul, 12 2010 @ 06:43 AM

If you believe that story i have a gold mine for sale.

The only way that you might be able to use monkeys would be to train them to run to US military troops.
Then you could put a small explosive device on them and use a radio control system to set it off.

And after the first one US troops seeing a monkey with a backpack will likely take no chances and waste the monkey suicide bomber.

posted on Jul, 12 2010 @ 06:46 AM
That was the most ridiculous article ever.
The photo shows a boy, not liklley to be Taliban. And since when do the Taliban train in city centers? There are parked cars in the background, not mountains.

I hope you put this here for the ´humour´ and not thinking its real.


posted on Jul, 12 2010 @ 07:39 AM
Have no fear!!
We have Lance Link to protect us.

Side note:
The recoil and muzzle climb of an AK 47 is probably a little much for those little monkeys.

Then again, never underestimate the skills of your enemy

[edit on 12-7-2010 by jibeho]

posted on Jul, 12 2010 @ 07:53 AM
This about as likely as the story a while ago that the Israelis are training snakes to attack Palestinians...

Next we'll be reading that the USA has developed a strain of mosquitoes that only like Taliban blood - and they've been loaded with AIDS, or plague...or something...

As if the real news isn't bizarre enough, people still feel the need to fabricate silliness.


posted on Jul, 12 2010 @ 07:56 AM

A senior U.S. military source confirmed the existence of the Taliban monkey soldiers, military experts call armed monkeys "monkey terrorists."

This week has to take the buscuit for news article quotes that you just never imagined to hear as long as you lived.

If it's not Gazza turning up drunk at an armed negotiation, it's monkey terrorists!

Whatever next...monkey tennis?

Next we'll have our troops shooting every monkey they see....then shooting members of PETA who are chasing our troops for shooting monkies!

It's not too out there to believe they could train a monkey to attack troops, i've known people to dress up in combat clothing, kick hell out of thier dogs and then release them when the patrol came round.

Admittedly the dogs weren't carrying AK's and mortars though.


[edit on 12/7/10 by CX]

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