50 Reasons why Britain is better than America

Originally posted by Cosmic4life
reply to post by Yissachar1

 

Cost me a black-eye and a chipped tooth.
Worth it tho,lol.

That's because he was just a Brummie. If you'd called a YamYam a Brummie, it would have been far worse!

Jeremey Clarkson, need to throw his name in here.

on the new subject, you forgot Newcastle, lol.

As for dialects, you should try mine, Cumbrian, even I can't understand half of it, and I have lived here all my life, lol..

Home = Yam

Going = Ga'an

Jumping = Lowpin

I am = Aas

Fettle = Health // well being

Marra = Friend

Ows it ga'an marra, Ows't fettle? Aas jiss of yam ti get get some nosh befoor i gannin lowpin ower yon yats!

Thats only a very few........

Hehehe, I actually have some of my american friends speaking it, especially Marra!

If you are interested in learning Cumbrian dialect (for whatever strange reason), here is the link to the full dictionary with english translation and usage tips, I think you may find yourself giggling.

www.gonmad.co.uk...


[edit on 6/7/10 by woogleuk]

reply to post by Liam.


I respect everyone's opinion, yours included. It was a sad day. Loss of life is never good, trust me, I have seen my fair share.

reply to post by woogleuk


Haha, ours is just as bad! We have our own alphabet!

You Tube, "Black Country Alphabet". Very funny!

'Um = Home
'Oss = Horse
Bostin = Good
Fittle = Food
Aarbinya? = How've you been?


"Aarbinya me mon? Arma gooin um, am yow acummin wi' we? Me wench as med a bostin bitta fittle!"

reply to post by YJLTG


sorry this is my thred i dont want piks of 9/11 on hear please its offensive to to meny people please edit and get rid this is ment to be a light harted post to chear people up not to start arguements so please edit and get rid or if theres a mod out there can they please hide it thankyou

1-Britain has a ‘Great’ in front of it’s name, America doesn’t.
(we don't need it, we know we're Great)

2-Monty Python
(yes, but like prophets only being right some of the time, MP is only funny some of the time)

3-British comedy, not only is it generally funnier, but it doesn’t suffer from the curse of overly sentimental mushy gushy moralistic endings and characters
(a few hits compared to numerous American comedies still seen around the world?)

4-You can’t get a decent cup of tea in America
(oh, balderdash!...)

5-The Full English Breakfast, ‘nuff said
(doesn't compare to a full American breakfast of eggs, bacon, pancakes, sausage, etc.)

6-Britons have a greater grasp of sarcasm, irony and self-deprecating humour
(well, there are reasons for that...)

7-Shakespeare
(it's fun to say one enjoys Shakespeare, but how many actually do..???)

8-America as it is wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for Britain
(so you're taking credit for ticking us off and what we built from it? Brilliant!)

9-Patrick Moore
(who?...exactly)

10-London, with all its shoe-shines and delightfully cheeky cockney chimney-sweeps
(and the fog, and overcast skies, and cooky roundabouts)

11-Bowler hats
(and they are worn by who these days?)

12-The phrase “that’s just not cricket!”
(ahh...what a marvelous global contribution)

13-The traditional British pub
(as opposed to an Irish pub, or any other pub?)

14-The unpredictable weather, which keeps things interesting
(unpredictable? You do live in England, right?)

15-Every great villain in anything ever has been British
(Lex Luthor?)

16-Winston Churchill
(agreed, a fine man of men...but we've got a bunch of others, just on a few documents, that rival him... )

17-Driving on the right side of the road, by which I mean the left
(exactly, so it isn't the "right" side of the road)

18-The Loch Ness monster
(Geography check...I thought you Europeans were supposed to be much better at this than us Yanks?)

19-We have lovable Irishmen, Welshmen with…their…err sheep, and….the Scots
(You know why the Scots wear kilts right? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away!)

20-Ale
(yep, can't get ale anywhere else.... )

21-We have a stiffer upper lip
(you have to)

22-We produce wonderful loonies (see no. 9)
(can't use one point twice)

23-Americans have their oh so old great monuments, most of which my house is older than
(and that's a good thing?)

24-Hobbits
(they live in the Shire, again with the geography)

25-We have a cooler accent
(granted, I'll give you that)

26-No matter how hard the Americans try, we’ll always hate France more
(true, but we're closing the gap)

27-We had a glorious empire, whereas America is still trying to acquire one
(we have one, we just don't flaunt it (then lose it) like some)

28-James Bond
(yep, our spies STAY secret)

29-The monarchy, love ‘em or loathe ‘em at least we have one to love and loathe
(we loathed the same monarchy, which is what started all of this)

30-The fact that we beat back the insidious Hun. Twice.
(and with no help I take it...??? eh...thought so)

31-Black pudding and jellied eels
(again, those are "good" things?)

32-The word ‘urchin’
(I suppose sea urchins didn't complain?)

33-The convoluted British legal system
(yeah, thanks for that, as it served as the model for our stupid system...)

34-Police truncheons (invented by Sir Henry Truncheon in 1762)
(seriously, that all you got?)

35-Sherlock Holmes
(bet he couldn't even figure out who Jack the Ripper was...nobody else at Scotland Yard did)

36-British engineering, the best in the world
(most expensive, you mean)...

37-We can pronounce simple words like ‘aluminium’
(we just take shortcuts)

38-Monacles (see no. 9)
(only Mr. Peanut and the guy from Monopoly wear them anymore)

39-We have a better national anthem, America sing about a flag, we use the power of song to ensure the Queen’s safety through divine intervention
(seems to be working, Charles will be 80 before he's on the throne)

40-British words, especially curse-words, e.g. arse, wank, bugger, codswallop, poppycock
(yeah, those are fun)

41-Dr. Who
(ok, will give you that)

42-In Britain high treason is still punishable by hanging
(bullets are cheaper)

43-John Cleese
(you already used Monty Python...sneaky Brit)

44-Cheesy ‘70s BBC sci-fi shows, always a good thing
(you should see the even more cheesy 80's sci-fi shows)

45-We’re not so lazy that we feel the need to drive when going round our neighbours house
(your neighbors aren't miles away!)

46-Greenwich mean time, the basis of the world’s time, is situated in Britain
(congratulations for being in the middle!)

47-We have our place names, rather than stealing others and putting ‘New’ in front of them
(we were pressed for time, ok)

48-Wallace and Gromit
(again, this is a "good" thing?)

49-Freddie Mercury
(uhmm...ok...???)

50- the austin mini cooper better then any muscle car
(but one can actually AFFORD a muscle car)....

'17-Driving on the right side of the road, by which I mean the left
(exactly, so it isn't the "right" side of the road)'

ok hear is the reason we drive on the left you can thank the french for driving on the right

read this website

www.2pass.co.uk...

So, the British are worried about drivers touting lances?

(why am I suddenly picturing a Monty Python skit with this scenario...???)

Responses to Gazrok, lol, had to remove some for space, my comments are in them funny looking brackets >>>> [ ]

Ahaha, ... is that Brittains claim to fame " We invented america".


Thats like, Lance Armstrong's dad, claiming responsibility for his son's success. kinda sad.

reply to post by IntastellaBurst


Ouch...


As for the eye roll, you type a colon, then two at signs, then another colon... (I think it's more from ATS, but still works here)....

Grüße Fräulein, Sturm-Verbot-Führer, Gradico the pump of mensolone, don' T knows, if this one the aid, but the other day of Andy who provides it frequently to this nevertheless were my following Steve' the house of S, of that makes sex with su/derivar and Steve, has the orinato he in all the part and later she has absorbed his frequently, therefore mine to another house of ingualmente of the neighbors in the love with of Jesus of this black color that has smoking like and after it was all these sonorous signals, the function excluded and then all these men from the Baskets and the group of black men leather shortages and from the black color of the falls of the strolls of the movement cycle like the production of a group of excrement of the impact of the donkey of the foot of that they they are and then morisette of alanis and Milla Jovovich and of eliza of dushku begun, in the men shortages in the falls of the bicycle of the movement that will be shouted because, if the same sopportanda in Africa in its left concentration camps of all the were in the toys of the United States he had gradice g.i. Joe and morisette the Kobras and of alanis then has begun to the female of the song and jovovich of the mile that was, since the school for the girls is opaque, who have diseases of sex, because they inform to the disease

When I saw the title of the thread, I thought this was going to be Generic America Bashing Thread #1785098. Thanks for the pleasant surprise. And thanks for...

Originally posted by birdyat101
2-Monty Python
...

48-Wallace and Gromit
49-Freddie Mercury

ETA: And Dr. Who.


TheAssoc.

[edit on 6-7-2010 by TheAssociate]

1-Britain has a ‘Great’ in front of it’s name, America doesn’t.

Give ya that one although that is more geography based than anything else.

2-Monty Python

Saturday Night Live

3-British comedy, not only is it generally funnier, but it doesn’t suffer from the curse of overly sentimental mushy gushy moralistic endings and characters

give ya that one too , because political correctness kills our good comedy, cant go wrong with classic shows like M*A*S*H* , Barney Miller, Married with Children or the Simpsons.

4-You can’t get a decent cup of tea in America

Proper Tea is served cold with ice in a glass to be sipped while sitting on your front porch on a warm southern evening.

5-The Full English Breakfast, ‘nuff said

If Grits arent involved then it isnt a proper breakfast.

6-Britons have a greater grasp of sarcasm, irony and self-deprecating humour

I think this depends on which Briton or American your dealing with.

7-Shakespeare

Mark Twain

8-America as it is wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for Britain

I am sure the land mass would still be around and the reverse is also true

9-Patrick Moore

Hubble, Sagan, Lowell

10-London, with all its shoe-shines and delightfully cheeky cockney chimney-sweeps

London big city, I like it better than New York our big city fair enough there.

11-Bowler hats

Cowboy Hats and Baseball Caps

12-The phrase “that’s just not cricket!”

Good phrase not sure if we have an equivelent

13-The traditional British pub

Saloons and Honky Tonks we have pubs also some that are colonial equivilents of our British cousins mostly in the Northeast

14-The unpredictable weather, which keeps things interesting

We got interesting weather also, great fun sitting on the porch watching the tornadoes go by as a youth

15-Every great villain in anything ever has been British

Darth Vader not only American but African American although a british guy was in the suit iirc

16-Winston Churchill

Half ours by iirc and we got FDR,

17-Driving on the right side of the road, by which I mean the left

Seems like most people I see these days drive down the middle , lanes are so passe

18-The Loch Ness monster

Sasquatch, Legend of Boggy Creek

19-We have lovable Irishmen, Welshmen with…their…err sheep, and….the Scots

Thats seems to be a Britsh prblem cant help you there .

20-Ale

Give you that one

21-We have a stiffer upper lip

Is that caused by bad dental work, I Know thats a very bad sterotype

22-We produce wonderful loonies (see no. 9)

Howard Hughes, not sure how lovable he was though

23-Americans have their oh so old great monuments, most of which my house is older than my house

Time to build a new house then lol, Stone Mountain, Mount Rushmore

24-Hobbits

Midget wrestling or wrasslin if your prefer

25-We have a cooler accent

Accent is cool , but its hard to beat a proper southern ladies accent, love the accent on the British ladies though.

26-No matter how hard the Americans try, we’ll always hate France more

Atleast we will always be farther away from them though

27-We had a glorious empire, whereas America is still trying to acquire one

Empire is more trouble than its worth be glad your not running most of this crazy planet anymore

28-James Bond

Matt Helm , Jack Ryan, see James Fenimore Cooper

29-The monarchy, love ‘em or loathe ‘em at least we have one to love and loathe

We have a bunch who think they are royalty and we loath them

30-The fact that we beat back the insidious Hun. Twice.

Werent you guys using the Huns against us back around 1776 or so

31-Black pudding and jellied eels

Thats just wrong very very wrong

32-The word ‘urchin’

Shame we even need that word or other like it

33-The convoluted British legal system

You think ours is somehow streamlined lol

34-Police truncheons (invented by Sir Henry Truncheon in 1762)

Tasers

35-Sherlock Holmes

I like Sherlock Holmes hard to beat those stories, Mike hammer and Sam Spade good stuff too though

36-British engineering, the best in the world

I think that depends on what is being Engineered, British are at the top no doubt though

37-We can pronounce simple words like ‘aluminium’

We shorten words yall probably do the same with some words too

38-Monacles (see no. 9)

So you gave us Colonel Klink see Hogans Heroes

39-We have a better national anthem, America sing about a flag, we use the power of song to ensure the
Queen’s safety through divine intervention

I thought you folks was mostly athiests these days, side note I would prefer that "America the Beautiful" was the national Anthem here something a bit less military , but it mentions God and it would surely cause a major explosion of irrationality amoung the militant athiests here.

40-British words, especially curse-words, e.g. arse, wank, bugger, codswallop, poppycock

We have some fairly inventive words and saying depends on what part of the country you are in though
Persnickety , That old dawg don't hunt no more , Ugly as a mud fence ,etc

41-Dr. Who

I am glad you guys take credit for that, We have to take credit for Star Trek


42-In Britain high treason is still punishable by hanging

I think we just have treason, no high treason, hanging should be brought back though

43-John Cleese

Steve Martin, Richard Pryor

44-Cheesy ‘70s BBC sci-fi shows, always a good thing

Battlestar Galactica, Buck Rodgers in the 25 Century hot babes on the shows though

45-We’re not so lazy that we feel the need to drive when going round our neighbours house

Depends on how far the nieghbor or friends is away
46-Greenwich mean time, the basis of the world’s time, is situated in Britain

Nice to be in the middle aint it

47-We have our place names, rather than stealing others and putting ‘New’ in front of them

Most of those places you guys named we just kept the names lol

48-Wallace and Gromit

Family Guy and the Simpsons

49-Freddie Mercury

Elvis Presly

50- the austin mini cooper better then any muscle car

okay so I want one of these, figure it will be easy to carry around in the bed of my pick up truck


British Suff I like

Football, I support Newcastle United which makes me a suffering footie fan
Spitfire aeroplane,Hawker Siddeley Harrier, Challenger 2 MBT and those SAS and SBS guys, Sherlock Holmes especially the ones made for TV with Jeremy Brett, Hitchhikers Guide, Blakes 7, Fawlty Towers, Are you Being Served, Good Nieghbors(US named not sure of the British name), The Beatles, Tabloids with nekkid girls in the centerfold , Cliffs of Dover, and a lovely countryside.

American Stuff you British should not miss
Samuel Colt and his inventions, also John Moses Browning, a Baseball game between top teams, its a bit more complicated than Rounders mind, USS Constitution (British have some great ships too but this one is a must see). Some classic American comedies such as Andy Griffith back when TV was good here in the States. National Parks hard to beat Yellowstone or the Grand Canyon, Stone Mountain, and Mount Rushmore. and ya have to drive across Texas from Galveston to El Paso.

reply to post by DarkStormCrow



I think you are referring to the good life (good neighgbors) why change it though?

It's like Red Dwarf or Life on Mars.......why did the american TV studios (whichever they were) decide, rather than show the original, awesome Brit versions, they would just take the script and remake it with american actors?? (ok, colm meany is British /Irish, he plays gene hunt in the american version of LOM, but still, why???????? ):bnghd:

Originally posted by Gazrok

5-The Full English Breakfast, ‘nuff said
(doesn't compare to a full American breakfast of eggs, bacon, pancakes, sausage, etc.)

The only difference is the pancakes and syrup, which to most Europeans is a little sickly for breakfast. It's all about the suasage, eggs, bacon, mushrooms, black pudding, beans, tomatoes and fried bread!

10-London, with all its shoe-shines and delightfully cheeky cockney chimney-sweeps
(and the fog, and overcast skies, and cooky roundabouts)

Why do you americans have this obsession with fog in England? I saw more fog/mist in California in 2 weeks than I see in a year over here. I think you've been watching too many Sherlock Holmes movies. Maybe you're thinking of the smog of the early 20th century, caused by pollution. Either way, it's a myth these days.

18-The Loch Ness monster
(Geography check...I thought you Europeans were supposed to be much better at this than us Yanks?)

We are and you just proved it, last I checked, Loch Ness was in Scotland, part of Great Britain.

24-Hobbits
(they live in the Shire, again with the geography)

Wow, you really aren't very good at this geography (or history, it seems). Tolkein was inspired by the areas surrounding Birmingham, UK in the descriptions of The Shire and other areas whilst writing The Hobbit and TLOTR.

39-We have a better national anthem, America sing about a flag, we use the power of song to ensure the Queen’s safety through divine intervention
(seems to be working, Charles will be 80 before he's on the throne)

I actually like this one!

41-Dr. Who
(ok, will give you that)

Too right, that show's awesome!

42-In Britain high treason is still punishable by hanging
(bullets are cheaper)

As I said earlier, and I stress this. This is not true, hasn't been since the 70's. No death penalty in the UK.

44-Cheesy ‘70s BBC sci-fi shows, always a good thing
(you should see the even more cheesy 80's sci-fi shows)

I shall allow you Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek. The rest had the worst acting known to man!

50- the austin mini cooper better then any muscle car
(but one can actually AFFORD a muscle car)....

The Austin Mini was one of the most affordable cars of it's day, that's why it was so popular. You may be able to afford to buy a muscle car, but can you afford to feed it? You may be thinking of the BMW Mini?

Anyway, nice attempt my American brother, but must try harder!

Originally posted by woogleuk

7-Shakespeare
(it's fun to say one enjoys Shakespeare, but how many actually do..???)
[if i could go back in time i would assasinate him to avoid hours upon hours of boredom in school]

Agreed!

9-Patrick Moore
(who?...exactly)
[he plays a xylophone......oh a yeah he's also the gamesmaster and a brilliant astronomer, he's also about 200 years old, give or take]

Brilliant description! I very nearly forgot about Gamesmaster too! You forgot to mention that fact that he's undeniably insane!!

13-The traditional British pub
(as opposed to an Irish pub, or any other pub?)
[hey where else do you see the rare lesser spotted flying barstool, or the endangered balding fat drunk lying in his own vomit in the corner?]

You forgot the Bitchpissus Bingeum, or common crested slapper!

14-The unpredictable weather, which keeps things interesting
(unpredictable? You do live in England, right?)
[yes, it was supposed to be sunny and 28c today, i was gonna go skinny dipping, it's 40mph winds out there]

Where the hell are you finding water clean enough or warm enough to skinny dip in?

(how do you do the eye roll thingy?)]

@@ between colons

Check out Here for a guide to all the ATS emoticons and other useful thingies.

49-Freddie Mercury
(uhmm...ok...???)
[best damn singer // songwriter ever, no ones voice has ever, or ever will rival his]

Totally agree!




[edit on 6/7/10 by woogleuk]

reply to post by DarkStormCrow

Proper Tea is served cold with ice in a glass to be sipped while sitting on your front porch on a warm southern evening.

BLASPHEMY!!!

Proper tea is served in 2 ways:

Upper class twit - Made in a teapot, served in a cup with a saucer with milk if Indian Tea, or with lemon if Earl Grey. Sugar is optional.

Real Brits - Made and served in a mug, hotter than the surface of the sun, strong, plenty of milk and sugar. Removal of the tea bag is optional.

Must always be accompanied after the first tentative sip with the words, "Ahhh, that hit the spot!"

My additions follow #

Originally posted by DarkStormCrow

9-Patrick Moore

Hubble, Sagan, Lowell

# Yeah, but they were all sooo serious. Moore's just a loon!

13-The traditional British pub

Saloons and Honky Tonks we have pubs also some that are colonial equivilents of our British cousins mostly in the Northeast

# You haven't quite mastered them yet, your feet don't stick to the floor, there's not that smell of stale ale and steak pies as you walk past and I noticed a severe lack of clevage on your barmaids when I was there. BTW, I had to laugh at one "British" pub I went into that was covered in Union flags and pictures of the Beatles, as if that's what we actually do, lol.


16-Winston Churchill

Half ours by iirc and we got FDR,

# I'll give you that one.


19-We have lovable Irishmen, Welshmen with…their…err sheep, and….the Scots

Thats seems to be a Britsh prblem cant help you there .

#

21-We have a stiffer upper lip

Is that caused by bad dental work, I Know thats a very bad sterotype

# Oi, that's getting personal

23-Americans have their oh so old great monuments, most of which my house is older than my house

Time to build a new house then lol, Stone Mountain, Mount Rushmore

# Cheating, they were already there, you just claimed them and made them pretty

26-No matter how hard the Americans try, we’ll always hate France more

Atleast we will always be farther away from them though

# I'll give you that one too!

28-James Bond

Matt Helm , Jack Ryan, see James Fenimore Cooper

# Seriously, Who? Jack Ryan and Who?

39-We have a better national anthem, America sing about a flag, we use the power of song to ensure the
Queen’s safety through divine intervention

I thought you folks was mostly athiests these days, side note I would prefer that "America the Beautiful" was the national Anthem here something a bit less military , but it mentions God and it would surely cause a major explosion of irrationality amoung the militant athiests here.

# Still plenty of Religious in Britain, we just don't tend to preach as much or shout it from the rooftops.
Many Brits would prefer the National Anthem to be Land of Hope and Glory or Rule Brittania to be honest.

43-John Cleese

Steve Martin, Richard Pryor

# No offence, but Martin's just not funny and Prior is a Racist. You have much better, Eddie Murphy, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray.

48-Wallace and Gromit

Family Guy and the Simpsons

# Yes, both way better. I love Family Guy and it's rediculously popular over here. It even got Surfin Bird in the pop charts for a couple of weeks!

49-Freddie Mercury

Elvis Presly

# Pfft, overrated slob. He had nothing on Freddie's talents.

British Suff I like

Good Nieghbors(US named not sure of the British name),

# Possibly "The Good Life" from the cast?

and ya have to drive across Texas from Galveston to El Paso.

# Done across Calif and Nevada, was great fun and some amazing sights!

Even tho Britain has alot of History, i still wouldnt wanna visit that stinkin place..Oh and Britains are just as fatter or more than us Americans, Cheers