posted on Jul, 5 2010 @ 06:30 PM
As the title of this thread says, I'm in the middle of a "brain vs. heart" issue, and was looking for some input, or advice. I hate to say it, but
I'm a noob when it comes to this situation.
The background story:
I went to a friend's party on July 3rd. At this party, I met a girl. We only talked for a little, because she had to wait on a friend. She seemed
like a nice person, and I am 99.5% sure that she was hitting on me. She ended up leaving with my number, and I had hers.
The conflict (on my part):
-My heart is telling me that she is interested in me, but I myself feel almost indifferent about her affection. I'm still recovering from a bad
previous relationship, and you would think being with someone else would help things. Ironically, she was suffering from a breakup as well.
-My Brain is telling me that something like this could work out, and logically, would be the best option for me, which completely disagrees with what
my heart is saying.
NOTE: I refer to my brain and heart because the brain is more concrete (logic, knowledge), while my heart is more abstract (emotions). So all I'm
saying is that there are two main thoughts going through my head.
The problems that I see with forming a relationship with this girl:
-Age gap: I'm 19, and she's 23. This feels a little weird to me, because I'm normally with people that are around my age (as in 2 years older than
me at most). So for me to be getting attention from someone that's older by 4 years is a little unusual.
-She asked for a kiss almost after an hour of talking. It wasn't even a "sexy/emotional talk", but more of a personal information talk. Does anyone
think this sounds a little odd? (and no, she wasn't drinking).
-Something in the back of my head is saying that I should be cautious about being with her. Don't get me wrong, if you would've seen her, she seems
like one of the most normal people you could meet. And for the most part, she was. But something keeps on nagging, something I can't place my finger
Final Thoughts (from me):
-The psychologist in me says that the reason I feel indifferent towards her emotions and affection is because I'm scared that the same thing that
happened in my previous relationship (without going too much into detail. she said she liked me, and then the next day gave the "let's be friends"
deal), will happen again. This would also explain that nagging feeling that something about her isn't right.
-Also, she didn't know anyone at this party except for her friend. Since she just got through a breakup herself, and she always wanted to live in
"the country" (where I grew up) she could have just "picked up a random guy" that seemed like a reasonable person. (I really hope that's not the
reason). This would explain the kissing issue mentioned above.
-I can (usually) tell when someone is lying. In addition to this, my intuition is about the same. Whenever I have that nagging feeling, something is
always amiss. It's almost like there's an aura around the thing which gives it away. Anyway, in her case, the best way to describe the nagging
feeling is it's like being in a room with a ghost staring at you; You know the ghost is staring at you, but since you can't "see" it staring at
you, it bothers you. For you non-ghost believers, it feels like when you see someone that is trying to hold something back; you know they want to say
something to you, but since they don't it just makes you wonder what they were going to say.
Finally, any thoughts in regard to all this? I'm probably over-analyzing (thanks to a scientific/psychology thinking pattern). Like I said, in this
case I'm new, so any advice (except for "you should go and bang her"), would be helpful.
Oh, and I apologize for the long read.