Inside the mind of a schizophrenic

Originally posted by christina-66
reply to post by googolplex

 

'Acute hearing' and 'perfect memory syndrome' are both psychotic symptoms which I have experienced. Remembering everything seen, heard, read, felt, smelled, and said in your whole life is great but not all at one time (which is what happens).

The acute hearing is similar...the filter system of the brain disapears and i can hear a tap drip in the next room as clearly as the person sitting next to me talking.....going into a restaurant at those times is just a no no.

Oh wow how did you turn it off or did it just go away after a while. I remember sometimes when I go into a mall, I usually walk around on mute because of all the people just gets to be information sensory overload. I found that its just much easier to create a button like others have and once you push it everything gets dimmed down. Though most of the time i'm in my own world so it really does not bother me that much.

I didn't turn it off. It is an occurance in the psychotic brain (sometimes). I saw a fantastic film on this ste about a young girl with autism who does not and cannot speak. However, she amazed everyone when she started to type. She expressed herself in type beautifully and explained why she screamed sometimes, or banged her head off the floor etc. She said that she had input overload all the time. That she was trying to drown out the excess input with her own output.

When I watched that film I thought that lass must be experiencing what I experienced for a short period every waking moment.

Acute hearing etc is not to be mistaken for being agitated by too much going on. Its neurological, a result of the hypothalamus in the brain going into overdrive. What I do find interesting is that this is one of the oldest parts of the brain. We had this part of the brain before we developed the area in the brain that gives us speech. So, although I wouldn't recomend it to anyone (its a real headbuster and you can't deal with the 'now') I do firmly believe that telepathy is a natural function of ours...because I have experienced it.

I know that I am susceptable to psychosis and that all of this is stress related. I don't try to do too much, or put myself in situations, or with people I am not comfortable with. I know I have to eat properly - sleep properly. These are the things that I do to maintain my health. I had to get to know myself. I do not require medications at all.

However, if I did WANT to experience these things again (which I don't actually) I could induce it simply by not eating (fasting) for a cpl of days and staying awake a cpl of nights.

Psychosis is temporary - it will last 6 weeks if you take meds and 6 weeks if you dont. The body just falls down with exhaustion. (but its the damage you can do to your life and relationships that causes real probs later).

The stress triggers you to such a level that your conscious mind just shuts down and the 'survival' mind - subconscious mind takes control. I have a slim build - I carry no spare body fat whatsoever. When I'm stressed I cannot eat - my throat gets tight and I can't swallow the food. Because I have no body fat, my body thinks its being starved and starts producing excesses of a female hormone (not eostrogen) which is what pushes me into 'survival' mode.

The subconscious survivor in us knows NO morality -no manners. (morality is one of the roles of the conscious mind). They record that people going through psychosis are promiscuous and will have sex with anyone. That's not for the sex......these people WANT to reproduce. They WANT a baby.

Its a bit like being in a hypnotic trance - when the hypnotist can bring your subconscious to the fore....you become highly suggestible. Again a similar state to psychosis.

Hello fellow susceptible ATS members.

I'm just going to pop in for a second and suggest y'all take a look at the post I made just a couple of pages ago:

Here

I had a lot of similar experiences, but am about 95% passed it all. I still have occasional bad days, but my bad day now is about equivalent to a good day back when I was psychotic.

I had slight histapenia, and pyroluria. I recall having many experiences where I'd go into a crowded area, like a mall, and have to emotionally detach to avoid a panic attack. I know exactly what you guys are experiencing when you enter a noisy environment. You process every single movement, and every single sound, and it feels as if you've gone entirely insane. To avoid some sort of breakdown, you learn to emotionally detach as a coping mechanism. You can actually go a little psycho from this besides the psychosis.

Please check these out, if you get the chance. They're both treatable illnesses that require good nutrition and high-doses of specific vitamins for treatment. You don't have to see a doctor if you don't want to, and can actually develop your own vitamin protocol through trial and error, plus a little bit of research.

Originally posted by NewlyAwakened
I also in my OP pointed out what at this point in my understanding I can only call a "need for anxiety". Something deep down requires me to be anxious, something logic cannot seem to attack, and so the more logic attacks its "reasons" for anxiety, the more various fanciful things rise to the surface.

Just opinion, but one I have thought about for a while.


It is the ego or persona that requires anxiety. You mentioned that you realized the persona or ego is a collection of memories and experiences, it is also a projection of future experiences. Hopes, dreams, fears, anxieties.

The persona only exists out of the moment. It might only be a split second out of the moment, but in the immediate present, (the NOW according to Tolle) the persona doesnt exist. You are just awareness, or consciousness.


Perhaps there is something about the underlying process of Schizophrenia that threatens the ego or persona, and the symptoms you describe come from the escalating attempts of the persona or ego to validate itself?


Not sure, but in non schizophrenics, I do notice that people who have a preoccupation with their egoic self do tend to spend significant amounts of time in the past and in the future, often on negative events in both areas, and while I am not sure why they choose the negative, (Perhaps because nature has wired us so that fear and negativity provide a stronger bang for the buck to keep us alive?) I do notice that if you, or they, can pull their attention into the immediate present, they feel better.

I dont think this is a cure for schizophrenia, but perhaps you could try to see, (as a test only) if rather than attacking with logic, you merely pulled your awareness into the present and out of speculation or rumination if you got any benefit?

Of course if the condition itself is making it impossible to stay in the present, this could not hope to do anything.

reply to post by christina-66



Yes I saw that vid to just wanted to get your take on it..the girl said she banged her head because her body felt like it had ants or some sort of pain flashes going in her mind. Which would make sense that she would react like she did.

The stress triggers you to such a level that your conscious mind just shuts down and the 'survival' mind - subconscious mind takes control. I have a slim build - I carry no spare body fat whatsoever. When I'm stressed I cannot eat - my throat gets tight and I can't swallow the food. Because I have no body fat, my body thinks its being starved and starts producing excesses of a female hormone (not eostrogen) which is what pushes me into 'survival' mode

I would advise you to take on some body fat its basically what the body relies on when the mind goes in overdrive...it uses fats stored to sustain its process. I ain't saying become fat but if you have no fat get some. It cant hurt to try.

The subconscious survivor in us knows NO morality -no manners. (morality is one of the roles of the conscious mind). They record that people going through psychosis are promiscuous and will have sex with anyone. That's not for the sex......these people WANT to reproduce. They WANT a baby.

That is a female thing and a subconscious survivor thing.. its nature..and I am not so sure about the, not doing it for the feel of sex but because they want a baby. It seems to be both but they convince themselves its about one. Reproduction is a fact and the feeling's and sex is natures way to make sure you do want to reproduce.

Its a bit like being in a hypnotic trance - when the hypnotist can bring your subconscious to the fore....you become highly suggestible. Again a similar state to psychosis.

Only because you want someone to suggest something to you. It seems normal to me even I get that sometimes.

reply to post by Illusionsaregrander

Not sure, but in non schizophrenics, I do notice that people who have a preoccupation with their egoic self do tend to spend significant amounts of time in the past and in the future, often on negative events in both areas, and while I am not sure why they choose the negative, (Perhaps because nature has wired us so that fear and negativity provide a stronger bang for the buck to keep us alive?) I do notice that if you, or they, can pull their attention into the immediate present, they feel better.

I don't know about the whole ego thing, ego is just the self in denial...but I used to do martial arts and other activities that squash all the other processes of the mind kind of bringing the mind in to a quieter place. The "moment" Bringing it in the present it seems to help a lot. I would advise something like that to those who stress over things to much just go and do something. Easier said then done though, being in the present.

reply to post by galadofwarthethird



Yes, the terms ego and self are used many ways. I use Self (with a capital S) for that pure awareness, and self (lower case s) ego, mind, persona, etc) for that image of ourselves that we conjure up out of our memories, experiences, etc.

The one has greater reality than the other. The Self is with you always. The egoic self can be lost entirely in a case of total amnesia. Hence, as I see it, the one that is essential to you is the Self, or awareness itself.

Its cool that you have tried that. And yes, staying in the moment is not as easy as it sounds. But with effort, it does get easier over time to pull yourself back in.