reply to post by NoRegretsEver
Hi NoRegretsEver (LOVE the name btw!!!)
Everyone does learn at different speeds and levels. Sounds like your mate is content with life as is...and that is OK for him. Sounds like you are not
as content with staying the 'same ol same' every day and you see growth in your life. This may or many not be a conflict one day fro you both...
I would say it is a plus that he gives you your space to do the things you love! Some partners that different in life's contentment's fuss on each
other for loving something that they dont understand. So what ever happens, thank him for letting you..BE YOU.
My first real relation...I started to really reach out and look for change in my Spiritual growth, and began to be obsessed about things of ancient
history and mankind. My partner then, would give me a hard time....always tell me of better things HE thought I should be doing. It got to the point
he tried to make me feel guilty for reading things I loved to learn about. Would call be lazy for loving to read. It really screwed with my mind for a
while...for I am a people pleaser, I will bend over back wards most of the time for anyone. I shut myself down, for his sake. I became a 'blob' more
or less....not seeking for anything I loved. Time played itself out though, and with great friends and family, I saw that I had every right to be ME.
The problem then become...I had to find ME again! lol. Through a 11 year relation, 7years of marriage, 2 children together....we ended in divorce. But
I have no regrets, for it all taught me things about myself.
I met someone that I have alot of differences again, but we have some things that I love about us too. He gives me all the space I need. He LOVES
sports (yells at the TV as if it can hear him) and he is a absolute sucker for fishing and hunting. The only thing I have to be jealous over is his
dang boat lol. Every now and then, he will come glance at what I am reading or writing....sometimes he will say 'How does anyone KNOW that for
sure?' and walk away frustrated. Its just not for him....to ponder, to wonder, to need reasons. He has a good heart, he helps others if he can, he is
loyal, and he can make me laugh. These are good enough for me. If a lover can be your best friend...I think that is something alot of people dont
I used to try to get him to watch certain shows (shows that teach you something, history, discovery ect) with me....he doesnt last longer then 10 mins
on most stuff. He does enjoy watching ancient history of cultures, tribes, wars....so I settle for that. If I try to turn on a space show like history
of the Universe....his mind just floats away lol. Every once in a while, he will listen to my thoughts on something....and his answer is always the
same...'we just cant know for sure anything'. This helps keep me in check too....and his 'go with the flow' in life helps pull me back now and
then to just 'smell the roses'.
We have found interests that we meet in the middle on, while giving each other room to enjoy our individual interests. I do worry sometimes because my
dreams for the future have alot to do with things I want to make happen in the world....and Im not sure if he would be a part of that. I just will
cross that road when that comes. Today, Ill enjoy it for what it is.
He can watch hours of fishing and hunting....I cant stand to watch it at all. I know where you are coming from. That is when I take that time for 'me
time' for I know from my past relation...how much of a need 'me time' is needed. Im so thankful to have someone that doesnt fuss on me having a
passion in learning and growing as a person.
You might not see it...but your mate, is learning things from you. Just because he isnt following you in where you are at in growing, does not mean
you are not affecting his own inner being. It might all come in handy for him one day.
Wish you both the best!! All relations are works in progress, always. Some relations, grow out of eachother. Only you can be the judge of determining
He watched contact (movie with Jodie Foster) with me the other day and I cant believe he made it through the whole show!! But again, things like that
leave him frustrated, I dont think he likes to 'think' about things we 'dont know'. It leaves him uncomfortable.
This year we started a garden together...this was a huge step in our relation, it was something that we both had to work on and give our part of the
work, to make it happen. It was a really good test to see if we can work together if we need to. Together, we can be proud of something 'we'
created. At first it took a little tug and pull to get him out there...but his face lights up now when he can go pick his own peppers to go with his
dinner in the evening.
All my best,
BTW....thanks for listening as well
[edit on 1-7-2010 by LeoVirgo]
[edit on 1-7-2010 by LeoVirgo]