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Originally posted by LightofLiberty
What do you think? Do you believe schizophrenic individuals are experiencing some kind of glitch in the matrix? I’m interested to know your opinions.
Thank you for your future thoughtful reply.
Originally posted by darkbake
reply to post by darkbake
And I shiver when I think of having to experience schizzophrenia because of my belief in the realities of the experiences. As far as being able to predict the future, that is completely possible seeing as time has been proven to exist in its own dimension. It should also be possible to shift your own timeline, change realities, even on accident, all kinds of creepy creepy stuff... damn.
Now I'm interested in people's schizzophrenic experiences, maybe I should start a topic about that and include astral travel and other OBEs as well since that is somewhat related.
If you are looking for a cure for schizzophrenia, I would suggest possibly focusing on '___' and the pineal gland... although that is more associated with OBEs, astral travel and dreaming. Hmm... some stuff caught my eye on wikipedia that I might have to look at later.
Originally posted by kevinunknown
I read this and laughed sorry, but schizophrenia is schizophrenia, there is not conspiracy it is not evidence of some type of higher conscious it is just a very unfortunate and debilitating mental health conduction.
I've always believed in a collective consciousness, and I believe we are all merely a "sub-consciousness" or sub-section of the total consciousness...we each are part of the larger consciousness, everyone and everything is connected, and was since the beginning of our universe...The structure of reality comprises of an interconnected web of energy....therefore, I must assume, out of the this huge network of energy, some form of superconsciousness/collective-consciousness has inevitabley spawned...we are only looking at the surface of reality with what sensory intake equipment mother nature gave us....an illusion essentially...we get only what we need to keep things simple and easy to understand, letting us survive most effectively, but hiding the true nature of reality...it is only an illusion that we appear as individuals each seperate and uncconected from everyone and everything around us...
I believe that the human mind has evolved in a way such that it has created a partition of sorts, most likely chemical, that keeps a small subset of consciousness tricked into thinking that it belongs to a specific bag of flesh and bones. This illusion benefits the human race by giving us an individual identity that will help further the bag of flesh and bones that the partitioned consciousness belongs to.
In some people this partition doesn't work very well which could cause this subset of consciousness to spill out into the collective conscious, the matrix, spirit dimension, the other side or whatever the heck you want to call it. I think that this partition can also be breached chemically and also through specific types of meditation.
I think that it is possible that schizophrenics are experiencing more consciousness then most of us because of cracks or flaws in this partition of the consciousness. I don't for one minute think this to be a good thing though. I most definitely wouldn't romanticize it in any form or fashion. Anybody who has ever hallucinated knows that although it can be incredibly euphoric and give a sense of everything being interconnected it can also be scary as hell. I wouldn't wish a 24/7 perpetual hallucinogenic mind on my worst of enemies as it would be incredibly dangerous to the person and possibly to those around him. I typically am opposed to meds but I think schizophrenia is one of the exceptions, take your meds keep yourself healthy, you most likely aren't Neo.
This an extact from my account with life and death brought on be manic/depression
Before the unimaginable lows of depression my restless dynamic mind moved between a vast host of subjects, as diverse as physics, chemistry, quantum mechanics, history, music, art, poetry, religion, medicine, anatomy, thermodynamics, micro and macro biology, anthropology, wild life, creation, mathematics, metaphysical, geography, engineering, computer science, plate tectonics, genetics, mind control, physiology, psychiatry, psychology evolution, cosmology, astronomy, plate tectonics, genetics, literacy, science fiction, engineering, the origin and end of all things, the esoteric world, philosophy, architecture, the study of the lives of great men, origin of man, etc,
. I lost my faith in God and consequently my rudder to guide through the trials of life is gone. I feel now lost in the vast ocean in the doldrums of existence. I just want to cease to exist now and cover myself with the peace of the dark blanket of oblivion.
. I stopped eating, did not sleep for weeks and lost weight rapidly. I had endless energy. Speeding vivid thoughts like a torrential rapid raging river flooded my brain. I began to write, think and talk nonstop became poetic, musical and danced and sang with unspeakable joy.
I felt so very very wonderful, happy and totally convinced God
Filled with laughter and the joy of life everything was beautiful. My sense of humor returned to an unusual extent and I found everything extremely funny indeed.
It was June 1980 and it was snowing outside in, for the first time in twenty years JohannesburgSouth Africa.
Returning to work in this state of optimism, not knowing then that this was my first encounter with the evil sister of depression
The sublime wonder mixed with cold horror of manic psychosis began.
I have to try my very best with all the skills of my gift with the written word to take the reader with me on this journey of terror and horror that goes on in the basement of my chaotic maelstrom mind and brain, when I am in the relentless unrelenting grip, grasp and throes of this evil psychotic, insane madness of manic insanity.
As I feel so tremendously high, energetic and good, in the first stage of mania, I immediately stop all my medication, throwing it down the toilet when no one is looking.
. The delicious pleasure of the first stages of the manic phase are so seductive and so far better than any drug high, one feels that an eternity in this happy glorious joyful beautiful state is an absolute necessity to be sustained maintained forever. Nothing can convince me, when I am like this, that there is anything wrong with me and any one trying to reason with me that I am unwell makes me very indignant, Irritable and very angry.
Looking back now and after much careful reflection, I note that the trigger my mania was caused by unbalanced brain neurotransmitters, causing my brain to race and burn out. Thoughts, came with nonstop obsessions and uncontrollable non- thinking, trying to know the inscrutable? Religious obsession? What is the universe expanding into if it is everything? What is absolute nothingness? Is infinity possible? Why do we exist, is there a God, Infinity?
he impossible concept of eternity? My finite mind trying to arrive at by precise and finite means the explanation for all inscrutably mysteries , the enigma of evil, the enigma that there is no such thing as nothingness?, what is time?, what is life?, what is the of purpose of life?, what is energy?, know the mind of god?, is evolution toe?, what is gravity?, what is god?, what came before the big bang of creation?, how many dimensions are there in existence?, are there other universes beyond ours, what is outside the boundaries of the universe,
Will the universe continue to expand forever?, what is forever?, is there life after death? Is there a heaven or a hell? What is the purpose of life/, is life meaningless? etc, etc, etc.
I feel unreasonably that I must know everything in existence, that it is imperative to unravel all mysteries to know the inscrutable mind of God and become one with the infinite eternal divine sublime reality. On, on, and on day and night, without rest trapped in a life- time cycle of questions with no answers that I simply cannot accept.
An unsettling uncontrollable flood of never-ending disturbing thoughts that give me no rest, day and night. I must just know everything before meaningless death overtakes me and I die in ignorance.
Mania is so very delightful at first, so seductive and wonderful creeping unawares on the helpless victim, cannot tell or will even admit that there was anything wrong, because of the fact that one feels so unearthly wonderful.
Please note that what I am describing is not the mild beneficial hypomania of high performing persons of history who also had this disorder.
This mild form of mania existed in a large number of great and creative persons. It was there that one saw the enormous energy of Winston Churchill , Ludwig Van Beethoven, William Blake, Napoleon Bonaparte,, Charles Dickens, T.S. Elliot, Robert Frost, Sigmund Freud, Ernest Hemingway, Abraham Lincoln, Jack London, Robert Cow ell, Michelangelo,, Mozart, Isaac Newton, Edgar Allen Poe, Mark Twain, Vincent Van Gogh, King David, King Saul. To name a very few of the countless great personalities that suffered in different degrees from a milder form of this disorder.
To reiterate, the first symptom of mania is the lifting of depression one feel so very wonderful, I always stop all medication. Once I reached the higher level of mania, where I no longer had any control over myself
I progressively went into a long altered state of consciousness, sometimes as long as three months before some normality returned.
Energy becomes so boundless and one is dangerously without fear, stop sleeping, develop extreme, sublime, exalted grandiosity, ecstasy, joy, wonder, delight, rapture bliss, elation, sublime euphoria, hallucinates constantly and has bright eyelid visions, stops, eating and etc, etc.
Who would ever want to give up a state of mind like this? Everything is much much more intense, colors are more beautiful, smell becomes much more acute, food tastes wonderful, sleep is not necessary, endless imagery reading researching debating writing thinking laughing everything is fully have godlike insight.
Eyes are bright hair shining skin looking healthy. Losing weight rapidly as appetite decreases and in the end one simply stops eating altogether.
Everything becomes so bright so glorious, beautiful colors of flowers crass, trees, sky, stars, every thing is now observed and recorded in the minutest detail, so unearthly, unspeakably indescribably beautiful beyond the normal senses.
Is this then heaven?, no! As an incandescent light overloaded with too great voltage, my neurons are all lit up at once and if continued would blaze for a short while burn out, blink out, and die if this continued. of the sublime, indeed I am Christ merged with God and all-powerful and Omni-all.
It then progresses to constant nonstop rapid uncontrollable thinking, wild laughter, and increased sense of humor non-stop talking. Acute sense of taste smell touch & vision, sound everything is more acute, in this advanced phase of manic madness. I am convinced I have developed a sixth sense, that I am God.
I become delusional, begin to hallucinate, sometimes-beautiful visions of other worlds, universes, heaven and see and perceive colors that do not exist on this earth. I feel I was in constant communication every being in existence as I was truly God I was convinced I was god. I feel that I am the incarnation of the sublime wanting to remain in this state forever.
I continue to have vivid visions and dreams, so real that I still do not know if I was communicating with some higher intelligence. I can see the future flashing before my eyes in rapid non-stop visions.
My eyes dart back and forth, back and forth, become red, and inflamed and terrifying to look into. I am in another reality beyond space and time an alarming altered state of consciousness.
No loner feeling glorious, I am becoming more and scared, terrified of this uncontrollable state and everything starts to go out of contra.
My body begins to die from the unrelenting drain off energy on it by this completely abnormal state of affairs. I became paranoid fearful, horrified, terrified desperate to escape the horror that has become my tormented mind. Is there a hell? yes! I have experienced it already on this earth.
Was I dangerous then? Yes! Very dangerous to myself and if I had remained in this state much longer, I could have killed some innocent bystander or myself.
I was by now completely out of control completely without fear. How could I fear if I was God? The police arrived and as soon as I saw him, I grabbed his gun and told him to shoot me. I was unafraid of anything and uncaring whether if I lived or died.
The police unsure of what was wrong with me with great difficulty took me forcible to a doctor nearby. The doctor was terrified of me with my wild insane appearance and had no clue of what was wrong with me.
Eyes glowing, darting side to side back and forth back and forth completely red with pupils dilated. Laughing and babbling hysterically like a rapid broken record on high speed.
By now the police, doctors (yes there was by now two trying to rationalize what was wrong with this terrifying insane demon in their midst?).
One of the doctors said in my hearing to someone that I was in the throes of severe vitamin withdrawal" I found this comment hysterically funny ridiculous and hilarious and burst into extremely loud sustained hysterical laughter. The doctor corrected me by saying he did not say vitamin withdrawal but amphetamine withdrawal.
I kept asking the police officer to shoot me as I was convinced I was immortal. Luckily, for me kindly refrained. He was a kind and loving young man that realized that something was s very wrong with me and held my hand throughout this awful event.
He asked me if one of the doctors present could give me an injection and I agreed, saying they could inject any poison even cyanide into me and I would not react, as I was a God-man. They subsequently gave me nine injections of some concoctions in order to calm me down.
At first, these injections seem to have no affect on me and the young police officer was the only one that could calm me down somewhat.
Unknown to me an ambulance had been called to take me urgently into a mental hospital on the advice of a psychiatrist, which one off the doctors had contacted telephonically.
On arriving hospital now descending down and down into an almost coma state. Given further injections of unknown substance and began to drift off. "(Twelve injections in all? I am lucky to be alive)".
In hospital, TV like visions on my eyelids continued to horrify and plague me so badly I was terrified to close my eyes. Just by thinking and closing my eyes, I could see any member of my family or anyone else and observe exactly what they were doing at the time no matter where they on earth. I had become psychic.
I saw in this way, terrifying clear as day in full color three-dimensional moving images of the past as well as the future. After each vision, a "voice?" would ask me, "do you want to savor the moment?"
I also by just thinking about something, someone, somewhere or indeed and I saw what I wanted to she on my eyelids as one sees on a movie screen. Don't believe?, I do not care I know I have seen what I have seen I was convinced I could see into and hear telepathically the mind of all living things, especially humans..
An uncontrollable cacophony and babble of voices from thousands of minds all around me soon became loud and unbearable. I escaped from hospital by jumping out of a window, early in the morning when it was still dark cold. It was mid- winter and I was freezing in my pajamas looking up into the dark sky waiting for the coming of God and his host of angels I began to thirst, (possible due to the affect of the twelve injections previously mentioned).
My mouth was dry I thirsted. In my mind, there in the darkness of the early morning, I saw the slaughter of the innocents. I saw and heard a message from God to humanity; "mere mortal man, "I God am not pleased with you". I heard god replacing world leaders.
I started to speak to myself and had visions of hell. I tried looking outward into infinity/ eternity/ nothingness and retracted my mind in alarm, in an effort to prevent myself from going completely psychotic, from the monstrous colossal undiluted evil I see. Is this the evil eternal thing destined for the eternal abyss?
I feel the desolation of this place, A place so evil so horrible even God will not look into it. I fear and think God will thrust this evil and me, into this bottomless pit and forget us there forever?
I go into a stupor and retract into a deep coma, and seem to observe from at the very cliff edge the true ultimate end of the horror that is the monster of manic madness and death.
Where there still options left for me. Who could help me now? Where was I to go from this terrible place? That is the battleground of my mind. I believe I came out of this hideous madness by going to my creator calling out to God to help me, and he lifted me out again into his light with infinite power and love.
Love conquers all. It is the love of my family, my beloved wife, caring friends and wonderful doctors that I am alive still and able to write this account hoping somehow it could help someone else in a similar dilemma. There is always hope. Be warned guard the door to your mind.
Going back to the first moment of awareness, when god was alone in the infinite darkness of ultimate loneliness, I knew he had a good eternal reason for creating me and nothing evil would ever prevail against him.
I jerking awake from the coma, I see a glorious beautiful translucent light of many colors, light now dispelled the darkness of me brain.
Hope eternal returns to me my misery turns to quiet peace. I feel final victory of goodness could be at hand.
I see a view from the very highest of mountains. I looked out, saw there was no horizon, and attempted to look at and understand infinity. The plain I see goes on forever and forever with no end. I tried to comprehend infinity and immediately started to retract, from this paradox of the incomprehensible.
I realized that it was futile to try to unravel the inscrutable When I got back home I noticed that I had become very creative writing papers on poetry, physics, history, philosophy, science, astronomy, cosmology, relativity and biblical interpretation Unique thoughts out nowhere and not found in literature just came to me out of the blue as revelation which I then documented onto my computer.
I found I was posing questions that none no one internet had asked by googling on all the subjects that interested me. My mind was constantly active.
Was this the last of the episodes? No! Nevertheless, up to the time of writing this article I have never experienced another episode remotely as severe as that detailed above.
I often hear that all trauma has a purpose and once we have survived it we come out learning some mystery of life, become wiser and more balanced.
I can not buy this point of view in my case as I see what has happened to me and what is indeed still happening to my as pain without purpose or reason. Maybe in the next life, if there is one, the reason, if there is one, will finally be revealed to me.
I have to remain on medication to control my bi-polar depression for the rest of my life.
Alan Grant McDougall 20/6/2007.
Anyone going through a similar experience is most welcome to contact me on the addresses listed below, I will do my utmost to help them in anyway I can. You know this just might be the purpose I had to endure the horror of the most severe type of manic/depression, so that I might be of some help and comfort to others in a similar dilemma, knowing no matter how dark things seem to be there is always hope.
A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
Originally posted by PsychoX42
Originally posted by kevinunknown
Could it be, that maybe, the psychiatrists are practicing a less than perfect science? Maybe its simply pseudo-science like so many others have claimed. These are the same fools that told us that an attempt to eat healthy is a mental disorder.
So, until they get this cleaned up, I think its about time to disavow the psychological and psychiatric community.
[edit on 1-7-2010 by PsychoX42]
yeah but thats like saying "ugh have you heard this! Theyre saying that people who wash their hands r nuts!" in regards to people with obsessive compulsive disorders.
i know people who wont touch their food if any of the individual veggies or meats have touched. I wouldnt say they were mad, but neither do i think its a healthy state of mind.
Originally posted by john124
reply to post by CHA0S
All I know is, not all so called insane people are really insane...they're just misunderstood...
It ain't paranormal, it's neural science.
What's the point of randomly guessing and applying random parts of science fiction stories???
It's as unproductive as ancient folks thinking comets brought about bad weather and bad luck.
[edit on 1-7-2010 by john124]
Originally posted by craposaurus
Originally posted by hippomchippo
Also like the complete ad hom at the end of your post, nice hypocrisy.
You obviously have no idea what an ad hominem is. If I had used the statement as an argument it would have been an ad hominem. I was just making a statement.
Originally posted by hippomchippo
Yeah, sure, let's pretend it wasn't an insult then.
Grow up, making insults in your posts doesn't help your case, it hurts it.
Oh, and there's more than one type of ad hominem.
[edit on 1-7-2010 by hippomchippo]