King Tut: "Have you seen my penis?"

Most like sitting in the back room of a dusty antique store waiting for a price tag - LMAO

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/dc7dacd89a47.jpg[/atsimg]

This is what you consider to be well-endowed? I think the conspiracy can now move into whether King tut was actually African... or an Asian imposter!

--airspoon

Originally posted by Thermo Klein
I can't resist...

Do you know how many years it took me to get that song out of my head....Do you?!

Why God, why did you bring the detachable penis back into my life? AHHHHHHHHHHH!

For real though, Good Show, Bravo (no pun intended).

Peaces

Originally posted by airspoon
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/dc7dacd89a47.jpg[/atsimg]

This is what you consider to be well-endowed? I think the conspiracy can now move into whether King tut was actually African... or an Asian imposter!

--airspoon

"Don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing"....?

Peace

Oh gosh, how embarassing! As if being poked & prodded at for years wasnt bad enough, but then his winky falls off.. dignity = lost. :shk:

Also, I particularly liked the following parts of the OP -

The wayward wiener

his member is dismembered.

Originally posted by andy1033
I would not be surprised one bit, as the male organ i would assume may be important for alot of people behind the scenes lol.

All religion is based on sex, and pagan religions that the ptb are into are all about sex and there energies are they not?

Really I don't understand how both aren't equally venerated as, one can't exist without the other. The penis takes no more an important roll then the vagina in the procreative power of giving life, to "pay it forward".

The holy spirit is the gestation of a child, hence holy (Hallowed) spirit and is why it is venerated in a female form, literally INSIDE female form.

Religion or Not, the truth is the penis and vagina are the two most important things our species have for the simple fact that with them we can create life and thus further our survival. They are literally what our survival hinges on.

Love the lord your god with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself should take on a new clear understanding in the truth. The truth that has been true since we first figured out we were naked, naked without regeneration the literal tree of life-The family tree.

Peace

I figured it out...David stole it.

Psa 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Psa 23:5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

He would even make his enemies watch....now I get the skull and bones thing.

Creepy....

Peace

Oh man this was wrong on so many levels I loved it but why, why was King Missile brought into this? Poor King Tut being emasculated like this.

This sentence:

... but then his winky falls off.. dignity = lost. :shk:

Combined with: King Missile Video = Epic laugh.

One of these days someone will stumble upon Uncle Miltie's grave and have the shock of their lives, Tut's got nothing on him.
Also, Geraldo Rivera should consider himself lucky that Al Capone's vault was discovered to be empty.

Give the man a break...... cough cough....

That looks like shrinkage to me...

Haha hilarious thread.

Kinda creepy though

The Ancient Egyptians related the cult of phallus with Osiris. When Osiris' body was cut in 14 pieces, Seth scattered them all over Egypt and his wife Isis retrieved all of them except one, his penis, which was swallowed by a fish (see the Legend of Osiris and Isis). supposedly, Isis made a metallic replacement.

The phallus was a symbol of fertility, and the god Min was often depicted ithyphallic (with a penis).

Phallus

reply to post by Zaanny


Yeah I've heard it shrinks and wrinkles in old age, and this is the oldest guy I've ever seen. So we're talking major shwinkles!

Harpsounds I really hope that is Rasputin's penis in a jar not a sea cucumber, if not that completely alters my perception of reality!

[edit on 30-6-2010 by Big Raging Loner]

Brilliant, I have been Reading about Castro predictions and the worlds impending doom for about 2 days now.
This is a much welcome laugh and break from it all.
So thanks for that.

The thing is that in all seriousness there may be a conspiracy here, or at least some stolen artifacts.

Nice one OP and the other posters for making me smile

reply to post by beebs



^^This. Many pharaoh were prepared for the afterlife in homage to Osiris as well, so there's a possibility it was removed after his death, then replaced to make him whole for his trip to the afterlife. LOL mummification. The rod of the pharaoh is probably as potent (sorry, I couldn't resist) a symbol as the Crown of Lower Egypt. A lot of members here can attest to this.

Also,

reply to post by andy1033


The Egyptian way of life was not a "pagan religion". Not by a long shot. But, let's just stick to the facts...

"Wayward Wiener"!! That alone is worth its weight in gold! Gold Jerry, Gold!

Now back on topic to find a plausible explanation for the missing member. One must first study the whereabouts and rule out the involvement of Lorena Bobbit.

For those who may not be old enough to remember...

After assaulting her husband, Lorena left the apartment with the severed penis, drove a short while, then rolled down the car window and threw the penis into a field. Realizing the severity of the incident, she stopped and called 911. After an exhaustive search, the penis was located, packed in ice, and brought to the hospital where John was being treated.

en.wikipedia.org...

This was Comedy GOLD for months!!

[edit on 30-6-2010 by jibeho]

reply to post by andy1033


Wrong, religion is not based on sex. That is a very stupid thing for you to say. Next time back up your accusation with proof.

Originally posted by TruthSeeker8300
reply to post by andy1033

 

Wrong, religion is not based on sex. That is a very stupid thing for you to say. Next time back up your accusation with proof.

The proof is in all the phallic symbols in religion. Every ziggurat, etc.

You also can read "The Secret Teachings Of All Ages" for info on this.

Then there is the legends of how a meteorite was the semen of the gods, and was held in high reverence. Or Bacchus...i mean there is a very long and storied history of sex and religion going back thousands of years. Read the book i recommended above (free on scribd) for a more full understanding. It is seen as the authority on the subject of esoterica.

hilarious thread for dicks ! ( just kidding )

I would start by looking for Lorena bobbitt.

.

No moon bases there I'm afraid...

maybe a ringmaker of Saturn though...



[edit on 30-6-2010 by watchZEITGEISTnow]