Funny lies thread

Most of the threads on ATS are about hate and lies, only a few are actually funny. This is what I'm going for here.

We all tell lies, but some lies are just so stupid that you can't help yourself from laughing. I am about to tell you about a liar friend of mine, I'll call him Dr. S. He not only lied a lot, but he usually forgot who he told the lies to, and who can disprove them. As character reference : he lost like 30 grandparents, about 50 dogs, was a race driver at 16, owned about 20 luxury cars along the years, won the lottery about 5 times etc.

I would love it if you could share your similar experiences.
Here we go:

My town is on the shore of the Danube, one day about 5 of us including Dr. S crossed the Danube with a bout to go for a swim, and help out a friend that had a little house on the other side. At 20:00 we all returned home.
The next day at school a mate asked me if I know what happened to Dr. S, I said NO and he told me what happened the day before. Dr. S told him that we crossed the Danube with some friends but not me and missed the last boat back (he only for some reason the only one who missed it). Stranded on the other side, cold and hungry he found a boat without oars, stole it and used his hands and feet to paddle home. (about 450 feet, 150m with strong currents)

I thought he was joking, but later on I saw a big crowd in the courtyard, Dr. S was telling his story again, only this time the boat had oars, but it was tied with a thick rope. Because he couldn't find a knife or a piece of glass or a shell, he used his teeth to chew through the rope.

Later on we went for a drink, about 4 of us including Dr. S. He again told the story, but when I confronted him, he had no memory of me crossing the Danube with him.

Even to this day, he still sticks to his version. But i love his reply: You can't have any clue what I did when I crossed the river, you weren't there. The problem is I actually walked him home that day.



edit for some formatting.

[edit on 29-6-2010 by randel]

Hi I'd like to add one to your thread.

I have a friend who was always quite present, when me and my friends were herding around the city. Things got broken, demolished and even covert with his very specially prepared turd. I know, repulsive, as a felt the first time...

Well, after a couple of months after that occurrence, my friend and another decided to swing around a street lantern. The thing eventually broke at the seem. This whole situation happened ride across the street from my home, and my dad, a goody two shoes back then, decided to make an example.
He talked into his head that turning himself in was the best possible choice he could make, and he even delivered him of at the police station. All of this happened completely voluntary.

So my friend start telling the officer on duty what happened and what his part in the whole ordeal was... 10 minutes after this. He got the most brutal interrogation possible, handcuffs, yelling officers the whole deal. ( we were 13 or 14 at the time.)

My friend nearly wet his pants when mine and his father showed up.

Apparently my dad had some friends among the officers on duty and set the whole thing up.

You could carry me away after I heard this happened.

My friend, he never broke anything ever again. the next 15 years of our friendship.

This thread is coming along nicely...

I'm so proud of it... Maybe I should have added something about BP, or Israel, or the NWO, or terrorist etc. in the title.