posted on Jun, 24 2010 @ 12:07 PM
I have a 2 part question concerning marriage and the 'rituals' of. Why does society expect women to take their husbands surname upon marriage? It's
almost a given and never really questioned. It's so much a part of Our culture it's assumed the husbands last name will be adopted by the wife.
Taking your husbands name upon marriage, to me, is giving up a portion of your own identity. The changing of surnames dates back to when women
were considered 'chattle', they were 'property' to be owned. It's almost like regarding yourself as a secondary to your husband.
As a woman I want to preserve the tradition of my ancestors last names. Why must a woman forfeit a peice of her history in lieu of her spouses? I
dont think I want to give up my familial name O'Ceallaigh for Jones or Smith. Historically theres so much attatched to it, history that would be lost
in future generations, that would be lost.
There are those who say it's it's idicative of love, if thats the case-why doesnt the man change His surname to that of the womans?
Just to be clear I'm not talking about hyphenated names, which is a whole other topic with pros and cons. Also, I lean toward a woman keeping her
surname but not dead set against her changing it to her husband. I have total respect for others personal choices and decisions with their own
2nd has to do with wearing wedding rings. Why is it supposed that women should wear them, or men for that matter. Men havent worn bands until
recent years, women always have, making it a symbol of being 'owned'. Wearing a ring is a choice but almost obligatory due to societys views. Isnt
marriage, declaring your love for another enough? Is it taken less serious if one doesnt wear a ring? It doesnt make one more faithful.. I'm not
opposed to wedding band either, I'm questioning why there are traditions that seem almost on the verge of sexual discrimination??
Please, I'd love Your thoughts and opinions on this matter. Some will be 'old skool' and others not. I think it's a great topic for
discussion, showing the alternatives where theres thought to be none.