At its most simple, those egos who conspire to keep secrets from others do it only to sustain/gratify themselves and exercise power and authority on
the egos who feel slighted that they're being kept out of the loop. But that power is small, self consuming, vicious, and most of all non-existent
towards those who are indifferent to the dynamic. For those who's egos thrive at the prospect of knowing something/anything that someone else
doesn't, It is a base approach of "Regnum Defende" or "defend the realm" … not by a small coincidence the motto of MI5.
There is only one approach to all this … and that approach is honest indifference. An indifference based in the inner knowledge that there's
nothing you actually desire behind that velvet rope. Or at least nothing that should affect you personally if not informed of it and that the rope of
denial doesn't define and isn't proportional to the desirability of that which it protects.
Keep in mind that there is a vast difference between apathy and indifference. Apathy is literally the absence of emotion and passion, it is often the
result of resignation in light of being beaten down. Indifference, true indifference in the way I mean it, is the absence of a personal position, it
is existing outside of egoic reactions to irrelevant circumstances after
the realization of their irrelevance. But please note, one cannot
act indifferent, one can only be indifferent.
For to act indifferent is a willful exercise, and by definition if one acts willfully they are not
indifferent. So the indifference has to come from within, it has to be true and pure, it has to be not applied.
Also please appreciate that this thread is an observation not a judgment. The degree to which this observation is unsettling or not is a matter for
each person and the comfort level they share with their reflection. That is as always, the only real barometer.
Having said that, if one were to observe the nature of the participants in such a conspiracy and assign relative virtue or vice, one would observe
that the egos of the secrets keepers, although equal in degree to the secrets seekers, are often more vicious and petty. This is primarily because
most folks who seek secrets do it dogmatically and unaware, as a continuation of a momentum they have always sustained for reasons they do not know.
For most of us it is a matter of unobserved habit, a built in inertia that doesn't solicit reconsideration until noted. Until recently this is indeed
the way I myself proceeded.
But those who's egos and self worth is defined by the false empowerment of secret keeping, for the most part know and are aware of their disingenuous
existence, mostly because knowing the secrets is to know that the secrets they are keeping are trivial and worthless. Hence their participation is
willful and in full knowledge of the part they play and meaninglessness of their self identification. That is why they are often vicious, that is why
they are small, that is why they are bitter, that is why they live in fear of discovery, and that is why their egos are violent and cruel. It surely
has to be a misery to go through life that way, not to mention pitiful.
Most importantly this is why they harbor the greatest resentment to those who expose them through indifference. For an ego built upon a house of lies
is by nature fragile, volatile, and vulnerable. And it sure as hell doesn't like the mirror of truth shining upon it. For it is in permanent panic
of being discovered for the emptiness it is founded upon. I have seen this panic manifest, it isn't pretty, for it will lash out indiscriminately
and scorch the earth around it, including attacking those in its own little group, to protect and sustain itself. There's a great deal of time and
effort invested in living an egoic life, as in the above quoted dialogue from Easy Rider, may the universe help anyone who inadvertently or
purposefully orients that light onto another's "precious."
… both sides of this coin are so easy to manipulate … in my more Machiavellian past I used to do it myself. Paying people with titles, and empty
power, ego stroking, perceived stature, and secrets. For the most part I cannot assign any fault to those who will take advantage of others' egos to
their own ends for those who make themselves available in this way deserve nothing more, in fact they all but beg to be fed and manipulated in this
Please note once more that this isn't an umbrella observation, to be blindly wagged by one's ego takes many forms and is an approach to life that
will hitch a ride on the vehicle that drives the path of least resistance. To say that anyone who is part of such a "secrets society" is part of
the above described dynamic would be a fallacious presumption. One can be part of any social structure and be driven by their ego but they can do the
same coming from a place of truth. The clue is not the "thing" itself but knowing and being true to the source of one's behavior. The only
catalyst is one's self not the behavior itself. It's just that some behaviors lend themselves more easily to the attachment of ego.
Now I understand that for many, what I have just expressed is the last thing they want to hear or consider … it is true that this mirror I put
before you is unsolicited, you (or whatever is in charge in you) may indeed discard it at your leisure. There are many many many people who's lives,
small and blind as they may be as a result of the above self-indoctrinations, are deeply rooted or in many cases defined, on these mutually dependent
illusions of the mind.
As a result, many egos will thrash, protest, and curse the mirror for reflecting the image they do not wish to see … namely their true self.
Insults will ensue, "who the hell does he think he is" and/or "you think you're better than me" syndromes will rise up … and like I said
earlier, nothing will bring more resentment out of an ego than seeing another person not willing to participate in the quagmire in which it dwells.
That's fine, in the end I have no personal position towards any of this, mirrors are at their most fundamental, nothing if not indifferent. In this
regard, I refer to the following thought by Albert Camus : "A taste for truth at any cost is a passion which spares nothing."
to all including myself … none of this is easy, these truths usually inspire but two reactions … violent mental rejection or the understanding
that one cannot operate on those terms any more.
At its very essence this thread, this expression, is written with a single ambition. To convey this realization which recently came upon me. It is
not to suggest that there is no virtue in the pursuit of truths or that there are no secrets worth discovering. It is simply to suggest a pause in
your momentum, a moment of true stillness … a moment to look within and be honest about who it is that is truly in charge, who is the seeker. Is it
you or is it your idea of you … your ego. And when confronted with secrets and those who think of themselves as grand for holding them, when
confronted with a velvet rope, who is it that is vexed? Do YOU really want to be beyond that rope for honest motives, do you fundamentally even care,
or is it because it's chapping your ego's behind that someone put a rope there?
And should the above expressed realization ring true, should you allow for it … consider how it is true of everything … after all the universe has
no problems, only egoic positions do.
The Last Conspiracy is the conspiracy of Egos, for if everyone in the world conspired to deceive you, they still wouldn't generate enough secrets to
equal the truths we keep from our selves.
Many so called "enlightened" folk like to say that to be a person of said light one has to free themselves from their mind … that has always
struck me as an odd thing to express and always felt to me as fundamentally missing the mark. I look at it this way … it is not about freeing
one's self from one's mind, it is about freeing one's mind from one's sense of self (ego) so that everything comes from a place of honesty,
kindness, and truth.
This thing we call life is too short to be controlled by velvet ropes, regardless on which side of the ropes one happens to be on.
That is all … to be.
[edit on 22 Jun 2010 by schrodingers dog]