Well...for those following my posts, I have been suffering from a staph infection for 2 1/2 months and its finally clearing up. Thank a God (just pick one).

I quit all my medication due to nausea and body aches. No med's for two months.

I'm HIV positive.
'
CD4's were 225 on medications. After I quit all med's due to my staph sickness, my CD4's raised to 400. My viral load was near undetectable.

What gives? It seems my HIV does better off meds than on. I don't get it.

Seems I do better off medications than on. Is my immune system trying to work successfully on it's own? Been positive for 24 years. I can't understand this.

This is very weird. Any feedback would be appreciated.

is hiv a disease? to you personally; do you view hiv a disease? i dont like the pillpopper mentality, i find it a disease.is hiv a pandemic? does it pertain to all people? i dont think your observation of life as virulent and just a cause for alarm.

besides some people claim the meds make you worse; but what were you before?

Originally posted by Ausar
is hiv a disease? to you personally; do you view hiv a disease? i dont like the pillpopper mentality, i find it a disease.is hiv a pandemic? does it pertain to all people? i dont think your observation of life as virulent and just a cause for alarm.

besides some people claim the meds make you worse; but what were you before?

I view my life as a linear thing and exclude disease as my driving force. I think because I don't focus on disease, I am more durable.

I don't understand your second sentence (please clarify). But, before (I was infected)...I was a teenager with no knowledge of HIV.

[edit on 12-6-2010 by brilab45]

does your life have a time line or limit? you exclude "disease" as your driving force?force for what?why do you not focus on what you are not pleased and tense with?you accept what is unplesant and tense in your life? are you durable to tension or your life; and before answering can you please answer the first question.


what you have come to know as hiv you can say it effects all life you know within your scope of awareness of your own life?

the internet is weird especially for someone like myself with computer programming as a background; when you answered your last question you placed the subject i am talking to : yourself; as an object, from my perspective, but continued to speak from a place i will call imaginary.

i would ask another question but it would be dependent upon the answer from the first question i asked you.

To answer your question, I live a life of denial. I've never accepted my HIV status as being the end to my life.

Guess I'm pretty much like the energizer bunny. I keep going and going.

But, sometimes I get grounded by secondary illnesses from this damn thing. Then I begin to realize my mortality.

I'm tired, but I keep moving on. I really am looking forward to moving on. Sometimes it is difficult and other times I feel like this is just a manageable disease.

However, its been 24 years and I am starting to become unglued mentally.

I've been near death more times than I can count due to this affliction.

I really do believe AIDS is a man made concoction to wipe out homosexuals and blacks. The so called unwanted peoples.

However, TPTB forgot that Mo's will self generate and blacks will procreate. They really effed up this experiment. I Truly believe this was made to get rid of the undesirables of society.

At least according to the white religious zealots. The experiment is a miserable failure. Yes, some of us will die, but they fell short of making this a permanent thing.

Now infection rates in the U.S. are half heterosexual. Backfired experiment!

you went in a direction i was not guiding my word to; so the substance of what i was attempting to vey was lost.

I have said this: If I feel worse on the medication than I do off of it, then what the hell is the difference?

I was dx'ed at age 15 after what is considered low to no-risk activity. I got the "acute infection signs," but 5 months before that, my doctor was doing routine blood work while I was taking a medication. He asked me "if there was something he should know" because my WBC count was consistently borderline or low. I got a positive result, then an interdetermined, then a negative...then the doctor said "let's wait until 6 months from now so we can get 'reliable results'." When those results came back, it was positive all over again, and they said the numbers were typical of someone who had been hiv+ for at least a year or more. But, my first ever sexual encounter was only 6 months earlier. But, my regular doctor was asking me 12 months before, basically, Can you tell us why your WBC is so low?

So, it's a real mystery to me. And, I've had an extremely hard time accepting the entire unfolding of it. The only time I have ever had signs that resemble infection were immediately after that low to no-risk encounter and before I received the "reliable results."

I think the stress of being "in limbo" and wondering WT Fudge is going on, was what actually made me sick.

Doctors like to say "Take this it will make you feel better" but that is bull poop. Nobody feels better taking a pill that reminds them of all the unfairness of how it all started.

I have taken meds and had my t-cells slowly climb but felt no damn better. In fact, I felt worse being reminded of how much I didn't believe it made any sense.

Read Bruce Lipton's "Biology of Belief" (or just his videos on YouTube, it's faster). He talks about how genes do NOT determine our fate. They must be "activated" by an external source.

I have also thought to myself, Do people just "drop dead" from HIV if they don't know they have it? I believe it is a gradual process. You can accidentally discover that there is 'something' wrong, and then get tested and test positive, etc.

There are way too many unanswered questions regarding this myriad of conditions. Hiv doesn't even kill anyone directly -- other conditions do. And, some people are immune to HIV.

I think sometimes that ignoring that such a thing even exists will keep me healthy. I certainly don't think taking medication that makes me nauseous, wrecks my stomach and organs, and kills my appetite is helping. Who wants to live a life hanging by a miserable thread in some poop hole of a life like that? Let me die already if the alternative is to extend the agony.

I also wonder how some deadly virus supposedly starts in Africa then ends up exploding in the homosexual population in West USA (San Fran). Why not explode in FL or NY? Why not some other major city in another country? F'in lies if you ask me.

Whatever though. I am not going to torture myself wondering about it, and I will not let a set of numbers on a lab report dictate how healthy I am, PERIOD. If I'm sick, I will feel sick. If I'm not sick, I will feel fine. I feel fine off the damn expensive drugs. Peeeace!

[edit on 12-6-2010 by glitchinmymatrix]