I'm starting a conspiracy-themed business.

reply to post by AwakeinNM

On the menu it says BE SURE TO ASK ABOUT OUR DAILY SPECIALS...
When the customer asks "What's today's special?" the waitress says "We never have any specials"...customer says "No look, it says right here, 'SPECIALS'" and the waitress says "I don't know what you're talking about - Do you want to order or not?" as simultaneously she reaches into her apron and secretively hands him a pre-printed business card that says LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN ....

and the only song the jukebox plays is

www.youtube.com...

~meathead

edit to add Original Eve of Destruction Edited for Barry McGuire

[edit on 10-6-2010 by Mike Stivic]

reply to post by Mike Stivic


Oh my God the jukebox...

and instead of Heinz57 for your steak, you get Area 51 sauce...

And the whole steak section of the menu is called "CATTLE MUTILATIONS"



[edit on 10-6-2010 by nine-eyed-eel]

Will you have a salad bar so I can get Oil Spill and Vinegar dressing?

For the build a burger, make sure you advertise that they get to 'choose' their burger, but when they get to the restaurant make sure they only get to choose from between two slightly different burgers that have already been pre-made.

Nice to have a laugh for a change, aint it?

reply to post by thedoctorswife


Yes it sure is. Now quickly add a second line!
Almost forgot my second line insurance.

reply to post by time91
it just makes a change to be looking at this site with a smile on my face, i could do with more of this.

New menu items:

NSA Burger (only available at the drive-thru)
It's ready before you order because we heard you talking about it in the car on the way over.

FedBurger:
We sell you the burger, but then we sell 90% of it to someone else, and 90% of what's left to someone else, and 90% of what's left to someone else.... Then when you're done eating, you owe us two burgers.

[edit on 10-6-2010 by AwakeinNM]

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/80c473d4c7c9.jpg[/atsimg]

if your restaurant enterprise ever reaches the uk can you call the fries chips please, it really confuses the robots at macs when you ask for chips, believe me theres nothing funnier than someone with a broad welsh accent asking you if you want fries with that.

Don't forget about the MEN IN BLACK BURGER or the USS LIBERTY SHAKE. Maybe even the waco grilled cheese? Or the WORLD TRADE CENTER BOMBER submarine sandwhich with a side of Hamas

Originally posted by EverythinIrie
Don't forget about the MEN IN BLACK BURGER or the USS LIBERTY SHAKE. Maybe even the waco grilled cheese? Or the WORLD TRADE CENTER BOMBER submarine sandwhich with a side of Hamas

Dip into your hummus/Hamas with some Hiroshima Toast...

Ahaha this is great. I'm dying of laughter over here.

Not feeling creative enough to add anything really good, but it did occur to me that you could charge extra for special non-fluorinated water.

Will a burger joint go over with the conspiracy crowd? Doesn't beef contain mind control chemicals in it or something? Wouldn't people be worried that you are going to plaint microchips on them as they walk through the door?

oh yeah, and the little sprinkles, on top of the cupcake and the ice cream sundae, are RFID chips...

And on the salt shaker (or coffee creamer or sugar dispenser) it says THIS UNIDENTIFIED WHITE POWDER IS NOT ANTHRAX.

New menu item:

False Flag Burger
Made from borderline spoiled hamburger meat, packaged in a Jack-In-The-Box wrapper.

Haha the MK-ULTRA happy meal! complete with set of flashcards! Try to guess witch one is YOUR trigger!

Keep coming up with stuff and I'll compile them into a full menu.

New menu items:

Birther Burger
50% black angus burger from a Kenya ranch, but with a fake-looking USDA stamp, served with a slice of Chicago-style pizza.


FEMA Burger
Takes a week to make after you order it, and is much smaller than you imagined it would be. Served in a barbed-wire wrap with a side of whatever we decide is good for you.

[edit on 10-6-2010 by AwakeinNM]

Wow, sent to the basement. God forbid someone gets a laugh on ATS.