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Pixianity and other homemade religions

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posted on Jun, 11 2004 @ 02:18 AM
I was wondering recently about the world's religions. There are so many varied faiths and traditions out there that I began to wonder as to how they originated. many are manmade, some say that they are the word of God. Others are based on the cycles of the year.

If you could create a religion, what would it be ?

Here's mine

Followers of Pixianity attempt to emulate the actions of the pixies by bringing laughter and happiness to as many as possible. In doing this, they receive Pisky's blessings. Pixianity states that every life is sacred, whether it be a bird, a dog or a human being. Each has a soul and can experience emotions. Causing pain for the sake of it is anathema. Those who do so are subject to the pixies' revenge.

The pixie's revenge is always performed in a balanced manner. Pixy-leading someone into a slimy pond which smells of poo is a perfectly good way to deal with those with negative qualities. However, hacking off the genitals of the boss for firing you is not an acceptable way of dealing with the problem.

Followers of Pixianity respect all religions. We may not agree with some of the more negative traditions, but we will respect people's right to worship as they wish.

Pixianity sits best with followers of the Celtic/Pictish pantheon, the Norse trickster god Loki, The Ancient Egyptian 'Pixy God' Bes, and those followers of the Native American tradition who have Coyote as their totem.

The symbol of Pixianity is a pixy sitting on a toadstool.

Holy Book:
Pixianity has no holy book similar to the Torah, Bible or Koran, However the Pixy Folk site and Pisky's blog are acceptable substitutes


April 1 - April Fool's day: Followers of Pixianity wander around taking the piss and performing practical jokes.

25 June - Pisky's birthday: Followers celebrate with pints of Cornish Scrumpy, Guinness and Cornish pasties

31 October - Halloween: Followers dress as spooks and scare the arse out of the general public. Tony Blair is burned in effigy while pixies dance and feast on Cornish Scrumpy and Pixy Stix.

Winter Solstice - Pixians give presents to their loved ones and invite them to drink mulled Cornish cider and consume the standard fare of Pixy Stix and Cornish pasties.

Note: During these holidays, remember to leave offerings to the pixies (preferably of Cider, Cornish pasties and pixy stix) or risk the wrath of Pisky.

The Otherworld
Followers of Pixianity believe that at the end of their current incarnation they will visit the astral version of Pixyland (What the Wiccans call 'The Summerland'). Once there they will frolic and caper, dance and drink with the pixies until it is time to reincarnate. Some more advanced souls will actually become pixies and will be given the choice to either stay in Pixyland or reincarnate in order to spread the Pixies' message to the world.

Quotable Quotes
From the ATS scriptures :

And the Pisky said 'I shall place dreamlandmafia at my left hand (since KayEm and the pixy padawan are at my right). And dreamlandmafia shall be sent out to convert the heathens and pixy-lead the sheep.

And the Pisky spoke forth and did say that henceforth his apostles would be called followers of Pixianity. And he did take his left hand and with it did raise up a glass of beer. And he did drink and saw that it was good

posted on Jun, 11 2004 @ 07:52 AM
I am very much into mythos creation.

Mine would be a form of straight out TREKKIISM, where one envisions the world you desire, then slowly moves towards that goal. All decisions are evaluated in light of WWKD or What Would Kirk Do?.

Does voting Bush or Kerry get me closer to the Federation? Hard to say. Difficult decisions.

And I'd be in no way affiliated with these losers...

"Get a life." ~William Shatner

posted on Jun, 11 2004 @ 11:00 AM
Your philosophies appeal to me. I wonder if I can incorporate them with the philosophy of the Sacred Pineapple?

posted on Jun, 11 2004 @ 11:17 AM
I only worship the sacred Golden Apple of Eris.

All Hail Eris !

Kind of a home-made religion, but wasn't made by me.

[Edited on 11-6-2004 by m0rbid]

posted on Jun, 11 2004 @ 11:40 AM
Not exactly on topic, but wanted to share this with the resident pixy.
I've heard you mention it for months now....

posted on Jun, 11 2004 @ 02:37 PM
I founded the Church of St. Carter a few years ago during the X Files craze... man that was fun, reading from the Holy Transcripts, worshipping St. Carter the Creator of all things

ah, the good old days....

I like Trekkism too, btw, thats a very good one

posted on Jun, 11 2004 @ 04:53 PM
Well, we at the Church of the Super Mango condemn all of you as heretics! According to BDSM (Book of Da Super Mango to you mangoless, dirty-minded heathens), 5:15, "Thou shalt have no other fruit or imaginary deity other than Me, and I give thee the power to smite those unbelievers and their evil apple turnovers and pineapple upside-down cakes." As Papess, I declare holy war! Let's RUMBLE!

[Edited on 11-6-2004 by Hecate100]

posted on Jun, 11 2004 @ 05:06 PM
Convert to Pixianity and your life will be filled with Pisky's blessings for the rest of your human life, until the time that you come up to Pixyland and frolic with the Pixies. Come...and join us as we bring Pixianity to the whole world.

posted on Jun, 11 2004 @ 06:48 PM
As the first fruit- based religion to adopt Pixianity, the church of the Sacred Pineapple officially denounces the "pagan" mango.

posted on Jun, 12 2004 @ 01:16 PM
Ooh ooh, I presume I get to be the Angel of Wrath, come on I wanna use my parasol!

posted on Jun, 12 2004 @ 04:14 PM

Pixy-leading someone into a slimy pond which smells of poo is a perfectly good way to deal with those with negative qualities.

I know someone I would love to do that to. Where do I sign up ?

posted on Jun, 12 2004 @ 04:57 PM
[size=10] Blasphemers

Do you not remember the original homemade ATS religion. The Church of Robojesus!!!!

posted on Jun, 12 2004 @ 05:16 PM
As of Friday, RoboJesus has been replaced with new and improved ROBOREAGEN!!!

posted on Jun, 12 2004 @ 05:47 PM

Originally posted by LadyCool21
Ooh ooh, I presume I get to be the Angel of Wrath, come on I wanna use my parasol!

Looks like you've got yourself a job

posted on Jun, 13 2004 @ 01:58 PM
Earlier today J0HNSmith brought my attention to this thread on the Slapping Mackeral board.

Well, perdy thinks im a pagan, rebecca thinks im an atheist, aboslutes convinced im a mass murderer (is that a religion now?)... so i figure it's time to set the record straight. Brace yourself now... i'm about to introduce you to Pixianity

Okay. There are few laws to Pixianity, and most are subject to change, some more so than others, so lets see how this turns out...

It was posted: Sun Jan 12, 2003 10:00 pm by 'Pixnaps'.

Could it be that Pisky was not the creator of Pixianity at all ?

Of course not. Because the belief outlined in Slapping Mackerel does not mention the pixies at all. There is mention of a person called 'Pixie' who I assume is the same as pixnaps, but the pixies themselves are not mentioned. Neither are any of their traits or abilities (Such as making people 'Pixy Led'). Therefore it is not the one true Pixianity as outlined by Pisky

Could there be a conspiracy here. Lets list the possibilities.

Option 1).
Pixnaps (Pixie) created her tradition based on her own belief structure.
He/She called it Pixianity after herself. The pixies don't get a look in.

Option 2).
John Titor is actually an incognito member of ATS. Annoyed that Pisky got the TWATs award for May, John got into his time machine, and returned to 2003. He then joined Slapping Mackeral and posted a fake version of pixianity in order to damage the reputation of the original pixy-based version created by Pisky.

John Titor is a heretic and should be burned at the stake for his sins !

posted on Jun, 14 2004 @ 12:43 PM

Originally posted by Pisky
The pixie's revenge is always performed in a balanced manner. Pixy-leading someone into a slimy pond which smells of poo is a perfectly good way to deal with those with negative qualities.

My revenge is to be unresponsive, non-acknowledgement of the offender's existence. To deny the offender's acceptance into the circle of enlightment is the best punishment. Condemn them to seek for eternity, never finding the fulfillment they could have received freely & openly if they had not committed the one offence.

posted on Jun, 14 2004 @ 12:58 PM

Originally posted by Agent47
[size=10] Blasphemers

Do you not remember the original homemade ATS religion. The Church of Robojesus!!!!



ohmy god.....I have heard my true calling...I shall spread the word of RoboJesus throughout the land and all shall bow down to his...laser...things.

posted on Jun, 19 2004 @ 08:23 PM

With apologies to Chick Publications

posted on Jun, 20 2004 @ 01:38 AM
Woooooohooooooo !!!! Killer thread !

ATS members have the BEST sense of humor

Gotta love this place

Way to go, Husband


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