I wrote this after seeing Jim Bakker on the PTL club
he was selling "solid pueter" statuettes of David spearing Goliath
when he got to the part:
"and it comes in its' very own GENUINE cardboard box"
well the song sort of wrote itself...
Like Kieth Richards said: You just put your finger in the air like an antenna and write it down as it come in...
could I claim it's divinely inspired?
it came true...
this was about 5 years before their fall from grace...
PTL (Praise the Lord and Pass the Loot)
Danbones
I saw this pair on TV
praise the lord and pass the Loot
the man was dressd in Nudie Brother's rodeo
snake oil hair and snake skin boots
the woman had jewlery
and a painted face and the longest nails I've ever seen
and they made their living preaching the gospel
from the back of a long black Limosene
Praise the Lord and pass the Loot
Praise the lord and pass the loot
praise the lord and pass the loot
Just mail your old age checks
right here to me
I was hung over one morning
and I had nothing better to do
so I turned into their TV station
just to see what they were up to
cryin crock-o-dile tears I couldn't see what they were cryin for
but, they said: if you don't send us money to be on TV
we won't be here askin for your money no more ( spoken "wtf?!!!" )
(spoken: and they never even mentioned jebus at all)
Praise the Lord and pass the Loot
Praise the lord and pass the loot
praise the lord and pass the loot
LUST mail your old age checks right here to me
(spoken: ooops lil floydian slip there heh heh)
then I do a full speed rant ( as Jim Bakker )
about how
"you'ld think experienced prostitutes should cost more
because of their experience
and the young inexperienced ones should be less expensive
and how come I can't write it of on my taxes
I mean in washington they get them for free and they get bribes too
can you believe that..?.
DANG!...they get paid for doin it
and I gotta pay for doin it
It ant fair ..I tells ya
It aint fair
its like I'm bein descriminated against...
hey! theres a liguor store
Driver
pull in there !...pull in there!
Damn! I mean DANG! they got Wild Turkey on sale...
grab a case
yeah yeah ...put it in the card
costs money to get my accountant to file all them receipts
this way I get it all on one easy statement every month
that way Tammy can do the books
screw the accountant
fire him...with real fire...
yeah, hell fire
I think he's walkin off with the silver ware any how
No! you can't buy a bottle of water..
what do ya think I am? made of money
sheeesh!
oh man, have you seen Tammy's make up bill?
oh well ...can't stint there...."
...
Sorry,I didn't mean to offend real faith
the part about the "genuine cardboard box" just set me off...
I get a lot of free beers out of this if nothing else
and points from people who remember I was singing this years before they got busted on tax evasion
TAX THE CHURCHES!!!!!!
hey, Ted Haggard is preachin again!
[edit on 7-6-2010 by Danbones]