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The Jesus burial conspiracy

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posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 01:50 AM
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So,
who actually buried Jesus?


Joseph of Arimathaea ?

Matthew 27:57-60
When the even was come, there came a rich man of Arimathaea, named Joseph, who also himself was Jesus' disciple: He went to Pilate, and begged the body of Jesus. Then Pilate commanded the body to be delivered. And when Joseph had taken the body, he wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, And laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn out in the rock: and he rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulchre, and departed.

Mark 15:43-46
Joseph of Arimathaea ... took him down, and wrapped him in the linen, and laid him in a sepulchre.

Luke 23:50-53
Joseph ... of Arimathaea ... took it down, and wrapped it in linen, and laid it in a sepulchre.


Joseph of Arimataea and Nicodemus ?


John 19:38-42
Joseph of Arimathaea ... took the body of Jesus. And there came also Nicodemus.... Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden; and in the garden a new sepulchre, wherein was never man yet laid. There laid they Jesus....


The Jews and their rulers ?

Acts 13:27-29
For they that dwell at Jerusalem, and their rulers, because they knew him not, nor yet the voices of the prophets which are read every sabbath day, they have fulfilled them in condemning him. And though they found no cause of death in him, yet desired they Pilate that he should be slain. And when they had fulfilled all that was written of him, they took him down from the tree, and laid him in a sepulchre.


Kap




posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 01:59 AM
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Who cares ?

By the Power of God Almighty ,

Jesus rose , and beat death !

... and NO , He's not a vampire or a zombie!

HE IS the rock (cornerstone)of our salvation !






posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 02:05 AM
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Explanation: Well Jesus was clearly present for his own burial and most likely he was responsible for his own death as well [he chose to follow his Fathers wishes on that matter after speaking directly to him..."Mat 26:39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou [wilt]."... AND..."Jhn 18:11 Then said Jesus unto Peter, Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?"].

So if and when he returns [uhm he is returning isn't he???
] we can get the answer DIRECTLY from the horses [or in this case the Lambs] mouth!


Personal Disclosure: It really doesn't matter WHO buried him as it was almost passover and even the Romans would have had him buried quickly so as not to upset the local population!



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 02:49 AM
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off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 02:59 AM
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Originally posted by dethduck
Man!
Three days to respawn!
That's some serious lag.

I'd switch ISP's if I was him.


 
Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com
 



star for you friend, that is hellarious.



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 03:16 AM
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What I dont get is resurrection! Two guards fall asleep outside jesus tomb and when they awaken Jesus is gone!! So Obviously he was resurrected, as nothing else could have possibly happened!........ Let me see.... guards asleep(possibly Drugged), window of opportunity to open Tomb and Take Body.............. Must be Resurrected!!



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 03:37 AM
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3 Days !????????


overnight son !!!!!




posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 03:37 AM
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off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 04:29 AM
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Josepth of Arimathea and the Josepth of Mary and Josepth are one and the same .People note that Josepth simply and quitely disappears from the story with out explaination . These two people are one and the same , just their narration chages . Josepth and Josepth of Arimathea being the same and being the alledged father had the burial rights , just as a relative does today . Try claiming a non related persons body from a morgue and see how far you get . Hence Christ's body being released to Josepth of Arimathea . It is said that Christ was a carpenter as his father . This is a corruption and mistranslation of the word craftsman .To which there are many applications . In this case it was mathimatician . From Arimathea you get Ari - arithmatics and mathea you have mathimatics . Christ was not a mathimatician as such yet was well versed in these fields , hence biblical verses having mathimatical and astrological applications and principles with encodings for those with eyes to see and ears to hear .



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 05:32 AM
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In my time here, I have found many lame stretches to fulfill the "conspiracy" requirement to be featured here, rather than in the pious hell of BTS' religion board. This one is choice.

Joe owned the tomb, and providentially hadn't yet gotten around to using it himself. Others participated in the actual entombment (which, umm, is not a burial... but hey, details don't much detain you).

I'll go out on a limb and speculate that neither Joe nor Nic handled corpses much. So, I'm thinking the actual muscle work was delegated to staff.

As to Acts, the grammatical noun phrase to whch your quoted pronoun they points is "The inhabitants of Jerusalem and their leaders." That's a big group, and different instances of the pronoun refer to different subsets of the collective.

That's permissible in natural language. Pronoun reference is notoriously fraught, especially in the oratorical context of the passage you cite.

See you on BTS, maybe.



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 03:14 PM
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reply to post by 13th Zodiac
 


Joseph of A was supposedly Jesus' uncle - he had some wealth and a pre-paid burial crypt which he donated to Jesus.

which turned out good for Uncle Joseph since he still got to use it when he died!!


Dad Joseph died before Jesus died.



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 04:02 PM
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Originally posted by 13th Zodiac
Josepth of Arimathea and the Josepth of Mary and Josepth are one and the same.


You're joking?
This is complete nonsense. I've never ever heard a Christian claim this bizarrity before. Where is your EVIDENCE?



Originally posted by 13th Zodiac
People note that Josepth simply and quitely disappears from the story with out explaination.


Because he's a FICTION.


Originally posted by 13th Zodiac
Try claiming a non related persons body from a morgue and see how far you get.


Pfft!
Because ancient Romans followed modern morgue's rules, right?




Originally posted by 13th Zodiac
Arimathea . It ... father . This


Why can't you use full stops correctly?


Kap



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 04:05 PM
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Originally posted by eight bits
I'll go out on a limb and speculate that neither Joe nor Nic handled corpses much. So, I'm thinking the actual muscle work was delegated to staff.


That's a serious answer?
Two DIFFERENT people ?!

And you answer is that they used staff?

Hahahaha..

You just made that on on the spot, right?

Meanwhile, Acts says something DIFFERENT - and that 'acceptable' to you - because you're a FAITHFUL BELIEVER.

Any sceptic can see thru these silly stories.


Kap



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 04:06 PM
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Originally posted by queenannie38
reply to post by 13th Zodiac
 


Joseph of A was supposedly Jesus' uncle - he had some wealth and a pre-paid burial crypt which he donated to Jesus.

which turned out good for Uncle Joseph since he still got to use it when he died!!


Dad Joseph died before Jesus died.


You completely IGNORED tha fact that the bible gives THREE DIFFERENT versions.

You IGNORED Nicodemus,
you IGNORED Acts.

The facts don't matter to you, right ?


Kap



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 04:09 PM
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Originally posted by queenannie38
reply to post by 13th Zodiac
 


Joseph of A was supposedly Jesus' uncle - he had some wealth and a pre-paid burial crypt which he donated to Jesus.



which turned out good for Uncle Joseph since he still got to use it when he died!!


Dad Joseph died before Jesus died.
::

Uncle Joseph of A was supposedly Christ's Uncle ?
Supposedly ? which is it ? is he or isn't he ? Can you quote for me what pages this stated . Or does this come from the ancient book of Chinese whispers ?

Dad Joseph died before Jesus died ?
Again is this from the ancient book of Chinese whispers ? or in the New Testament ? Quote the page I'd love to read it . Oh come on now you mean Christ left his father to die with out raising him ? That's not nice . True there are referances to widows , but show me refrences to any of these being Mary .



[edit on 7-6-2010 by 13th Zodiac]

[edit on 7-6-2010 by 13th Zodiac]



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 04:46 PM
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Originally posted by Kapyong

Originally posted by 13th Zodiac
Josepth of Arimathea and the Josepth of Mary and Josepth are one and the same.


You're joking?
This is complete nonsense. I've never ever heard a Christian claim this bizarrity before. Where is your EVIDENCE?



Originally posted by 13th Zodiac
People note that Josepth simply and quitely disappears from the story with out explaination.


Because he's a FICTION.


Originally posted by 13th Zodiac
Try claiming a non related persons body from a morgue and see how far you get.


Pfft!
Because ancient Romans followed modern morgue's rules, right?




Originally posted by 13th Zodiac
Arimathea . It ... father . This


Why can't you use full stops correctly?


Kap


So you are telling Me I am a Christian , so YOU are the spokes person for Christans and all Christans are mindless and think the same .

Josepth is a FICTION , then your whole argument is a FICTION. Including the New Testament .

Romans followed modern morgue rules ? No . Modern rules follow ancient rules .


Originally posted by 13th Zodiac
Arimathea . It ... father . This


Where did I write anything like that ?

Why can't you use full stops correctly?

? Enlighten me .


Kap


?

[edit on 7-6-2010 by 13th Zodiac]



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 04:57 PM
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People used to wake from the dead all the time.
Because of course, they weren't always dead
This is why we have a period called a wake

just ask anyone
who has eaten an improperly prepared puffer fish



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 05:02 PM
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Meanwhile, Acts says something DIFFERENT

Still suffering from the dreaded CAPS LOCK virus, I see.

Proptip: BULL PIES in caps are still bull pies.

Meanwhile, Acts says how Paul told the story while making a speech to Jews about Jews, as a Jew himself. There is nothing unusual about using such a figure of speech... in a speech.


- and that 'acceptable' to you - because you're a FAITHFUL BELIEVER.

Can't tell the players without a program, Kappy? I'm an agnostic.

There are some consistency problems among the Gospels, and between the Gospels and Acts. But this isn't one of them.



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 05:05 PM
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Originally posted by Kapyong

Originally posted by queenannie38
reply to post by 13th Zodiac
 


Joseph of A was supposedly Jesus' uncle - he had some wealth and a pre-paid burial crypt which he donated to Jesus.

which turned out good for Uncle Joseph since he still got to use it when he died!!


Dad Joseph died before Jesus died.







Kap


You completely IGNORED tha fact that the bible gives THREE DIFFERENT versions.

THREE DIFFERENT VERSIONS . Please oh great one how can THREE DIFFERENT versions all be the same ? Thus all be correct .

You IGNORED Nicodemus,
you IGNORED Acts.

Yes I did , please quote the realivant pages ,chapter and verses relivant to this discussion so I can understand your argument .

The facts don't matter to you, right ?

Are you speaking for me again ? and by the way I answered the above I did not write it . Please tell us what your faith is as I am confused as you quote the bible yet call it FICTION .



posted on Jun, 7 2010 @ 05:14 PM
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The most interesting part of the story is not the entombment, but afterwards, when the time travelers show up and mess with the body.

Also the whole bit about Jesus joining up with the apostles for a little while and them not even recognizing who he was until he told them. That's pretty odd, don't you think? That Jesus often appeared to the Apostles as different people entirely. Makes you wonder how anybody could be absolutely sure they crucified and entombed the right guy.







 
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