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Mother finds kidnapped kids through Facebook

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posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 07:52 AM
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A San Bernardino mother whose children were kidnapped 15 years ago was able to finally track them down using Facebook.

San Bernardino’s Deputy District Attorney says it’s the first time his office has handled a case like this one. But in this digital age, it may not be the last.

Faustino Utrera, father of two toddlers, a boy and girl, vanished with them in 1995. Their mother reported them missing and 15 years passed. "At the time, they were 2 and 3 years old. So they’re now 17 and 16," said Kurt Rowley, San Bernardino Deputy District Attorney.

.......................


"The mother got on to Facebook and typed in one of the children’s names and hit a Facebook page," said Rowley.

It was her daughter, and they started corresponding. The mother even sent the teenager a family photo, dating back to before the split. But the relationship stalled. "The teenager said, 'Not interested in a relationship. We just have a happy life. Leave us alone,'" said Rowley.

Full Story
While this initially sounded like good news, the reaction from the daughter probably wasn't what the mother expected. She took down her Facebook page after that.

The mother did contact police and they were able to track the kids to Florida. The father was arrested for kidnapping both kids and violating child custody orders.

I'm sure the relationship rebuilding process will take a while here, since the children were so young at the time they were kidnapped and are both now teenagers and almost adults.




posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 08:09 AM
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If the daughter broke off contact & saying to leave them alone, she may now resent her mother for the father being arrested.



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 08:26 AM
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reply to post by acrux
 


Yeah. That's what I think too. Not sure if this will eventually have a happy ending or not. It seemed they were happy with their father whether he was supposed to have them or not. Now the mother has moved them across the country and had basically the only parent they really ever knew arrested.



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 08:29 AM
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reply to post by acrux
 


True, What an odd situation. I also felt like the daughters abrupt comment,
may have stemmed from possible lies or stories dad told them about their mother. Crazy stuff.



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 08:41 AM
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Originally posted by keepureye2thesky
reply to post by acrux
 


True, What an odd situation. I also felt like the daughters abrupt comment,
may have stemmed from possible lies or stories dad told them about their mother. Crazy stuff.


How do you know they were lies?

Plenty of women are pretty bad just as are men.



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 08:44 AM
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Originally posted by Scarcer

Originally posted by keepureye2thesky
reply to post by acrux
 


True, What an odd situation. I also felt like the daughters abrupt comment,
may have stemmed from possible lies or stories dad told them about their mother. Crazy stuff.


How do you know they were lies?

Plenty of women are pretty bad just as are men.


right!! that's why i used the word stories as well. stories can be true you know.



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 08:51 AM
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If that was me ,i would of let it go ,,,,
too much time has past , the daughter said she was happy
Justice was served in the end ,but why did he run away(kidnapp)



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 09:00 AM
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Originally posted by StaceyWilson
If that was me ,i would of let it go ,,,,
too much time has past , the daughter said she was happy
Justice was served in the end ,but why did he run away(kidnapp)


It sounds like the dad left and took the kids because he wasn't awarded custody or not enough custody in his opinion. So he took the kids and left the state.



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 09:03 AM
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reply to post by StaceyWilson
 

If that was me ,i would of let it go ,,,,
too much time has past , the daughter said she was happy
Justice was served in the end ,but why did he run away(kidnapp)
Do you have children? It make me wonder because you too willingly said to give up her children.

I went through a situation where I couldn't see my kids for 7 years based on lies told by the mother. (Proven to be lying in court too. but enough on that.)

It is an agonizing thing to have children stolen away. I don't blame her for trying to get in contact with her kids.



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 09:59 AM
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Yes ,Give up the children , theyre brainwashed life will lead to much more pain for the ex wife , and even the kids , are you reading the threads ?
i have kids , but that is irrelevent ok, sticking to the story now
The father is closest to them ,Justice was served ,i bet his sister or mother will get the childrens rights , i assume the children will treat her(the ex) like a stranger , emotionally ,its gotta hurt the mum,but the children will prob go somewhere else ,(auntie/Nanna) which is a sad loss , but it happened .
A very sad story indeed . its hard for you not to get emotional , but it is what it is..



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 10:03 AM
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Originally posted by acrux
If the daughter broke off contact & saying to leave them alone, she may now resent her mother for the father being arrested.
Unless she was forced/threatened/guilt tripped by the kidnapper (he doesn't deserve the father title) to cut off all relationships because it would lead to his arrest.



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 10:18 AM
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reply to post by IcarusDeepSea
 


For now id say brainwashed, or ,as you said guilt trip .
Will see how it developes ,more info could pop up about the father ,



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 08:12 PM
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I just don't see how any good could have come from the "mother" contacting police. Now, the children will have to enter the system because the child protective services won't just release them to a woman that they don't know. The children obviously seemed happy, so the mother should have just tried to reach her children through private matters.

Generally, when a father kidnaps his children, it is either because the mother is dangerous or she is preventing him from having a relationship with the children in question. Most often, it is both unfortunately. Also, women will use the children as a weapon to "get back" at the father for whatever it is that makes the mother angry. This kind of behavior is often extremely harmful to children.

You see, it is almost impossible for a male to make any kind of headway in family court. There are many reasons for this, one being the traditional role that mothers play in the upbringing of children. However, this is really no longer the case for the majority of families since the whole feminist movement in the 70s and due to both of the parents needing to hold a job to stay above water.

The second reason being the differing state laws. Many laws are actually written to favor women in both custody battles and child support issues. There is a plain bias on behalf of women in family court and not just pertaining to children, but also divorce and other legal family matters.

The third reason being the high proportion of women with a "chip on their shoulder" gravitating to those jobs. Often times, women who are abused, neglected or have extremist feminist views tend to take a job where they can help other children who may be in the same spot that they once were in. For the women with extremist feminist views, it is a job where they can easily dominate men, unlike any other profession in America. (One would normally think police professions would be their job of choice but it isn't due to their superiors being male.)

The fourth reason being that arbiter, such as a jury, judge or government organization is more than likely to take the word of a female, over that of a male. Women are often more credible than men. This is why women tend to get far lesser sentences for the same crimes committed by males. It is also the reason that women are more likely to be exonerated or acquitted of a charge, than men. There is just something about women that makes people see them as less threatening.

The fifth reason being that there are many non-profit and government organization that have the sole purpose of helping women in court cases, while men have absolutely nothing. This kind of ventures into the third reason as well.

The sixth reason and the most damning, is that a judge doesn't want to wind up on the front page of the news for allowing a father in their children's lives, only to either abuse them, injure them in some way or even kill them, regardless of intent. Judges go through many, many cases every day and so they tend to rubber stamp these cases, never getting personally involved. For this reason, they most always side with the mother.

If a judge gives custody to a mother and the mother winds up killing or abusing that child, nobody will ever fault the judge or court for giving a mother custody, however that's not really the case with fathers. So, in the interest of the judge's career and the court's reputation, they will almost always side with a mother in a disputed case, regardless of whether the mother is a horrible person or not. They could care less about what's best for the child.

The family court system could care less about the best interests of the children. They are only looking out for the best interest of themselves, the court and the government. If a child's life gets screwed up in the process, they could care less as it's no sweat off of their back. I have always said that the two most dangerous scenarios for a child, is family court and convicted child rapists. The two are equally dangerous.

Women often use these reasons for their own advantage, using the children as a tool to either get back at their former lover for whatever they feel they were "wronged" or to extort money out of the poor sap. They often over-look the dangers that the children are exposed to in these circumstances or just plain don't care either.

If a woman doesn't want the father to see the child, he won't and their is nothing that he can do about it, save for kidnapping the child/ren. Unfortunately, their is financial incentive for these women to keep the father of their children away, since he will often have to pay more in child support. This is an extremely dangerous incentive.

Surprisingly, there are many mentally disturbed young women who feel the need to be a mother, even though they may not be either mentally stable enough, financially stable enough, emotionally stable enough or all of the above. These women will often try to get pregnant from which ever catch they may find at that moment, including covert methods, behind the young mate's back. They will then extort this poor sap out of ever penny that he owns, while keeping him from seeing his child and there is literally nothing he could about it, even if he spends hundreds of thousands of dollars on legal fees. This usually only hurts the children the most because not only do they miss out on having a parent, but the other parent (most often the mother) is emotionally unstable. They then get dragged through the court system which doesn't have anything close to their best interests at heart.

Also, this emotionally unstable mother will "coach" the child or tell this child very bad things about the other parent or father, making the child believe unfathomable things about their other parent, the father. This is also very dangerous to the well-being of the child.

This kind of thing happens more than most people realize and it would not be unfathomable to venture that over half of the cases in the family court systems through-out the country are in this predicament. Bottom line is that a child is a gold mine for many young women and when this is added to the fact that many women who are mentally unstable yearn for a child, it spells disaster.

Because of this, I would never turn in a father that I suspected of kidnapping his children, nor would I condemn those who do it. More often than not, it is in the best interest of the child for something such as this to happen. If I had to bet, I would bet that the mother in this case, falls into more than one of these categories. Why else would a father feel the need to kidnap their children and live a life on the lamb? Sure, he could be the exception but more likely than not, he was only looking out for the children's best interest and I applaud him for that. Sometimes, this is the only option for both the father and the child/ren.

--airspoon



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 08:48 PM
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reply to post by airspoon
 
It is abuse to take a child from either parent...No matter what the other thinks of them they are their parent...
The children deserve the right to know that parent unless they put the child in harms way...But it is a third party that needs to decide if your unfit to have visitation or custody not one parent thinking he or she is the better of the two.He did wrong and in my opinion you forgot one scenario...He may have taken them to hurt her...Not because he loved them so much because he wanted to seek revenge...



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 09:01 PM
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reply to post by zbeliever
 


The problem with that, is that there isn't any unbiased third party. Also, nobody other than the parents aren't going to have that child's best interests at heart. Often times, if not most times, the child's interests are in direct conflict.

I agree with you however that a child should have both parents, however this is not reality for large number of children.

My point, simplified, is that fathers often take their children because it is in the best interest of the child and their is no other choice, as far as that child's well-being. As I have posted above, mothers can be dangerous to their children and their is no where to turn for fathers who are trying to protect their children.

All too often, I see cases where men are hopeless trying to protect their children moving through the court systems. The court system does not have the best interest of the children and due to their extreme bias towards women, it leaves some men with no alternative. You do what you have to, to protect your children, right?

Of course I don't agree with kidnapping a child for the sake of kidnapping a child, though with kidnappings by a parent are rarely for these reasons. More often or not, a kidnapping by a father is done to remove the child from a harmful situation, in which there was no alternative.

I am very familiar with the legal aspects of family court systems and suffrage of both fathers and more importantly children due to these legal aspects, the current socioeconomic climate and the mental condition and motivators of young women who get pregnant.

--airspoon



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 09:04 PM
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I wonder if the children had been told lies about their parents, like they abandoned them or something. The children do not seem to understand they were kidnapped.



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 09:31 PM
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reply to post by airspoon
 


Hmmm, I definitely agree with a lot of what you've suggested.
But there are a lot of sweeping generalisations about women in there as well - no doubt well founded in your personal experience? - excuse my ignorance there.

She definitely should have perhaps pursued through private means for a bit longer, and getting Child Services involved will be traumatic for all involved...

But we cannot really speculate on who was originally at 'fault' until we have more information.

And every family is unique in my opinion.

Wag



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 09:33 PM
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Originally posted by webpirate
I'm sure the relationship rebuilding process will take a while here, since the children were so young at the time they were kidnapped and are both now teenagers and almost adults.


It sounds as though the father may have been brainwashing the kids into thinking that the mother was a bad person, or something to that effect. How terrible, to have your kids kidnapped at such an early age, not knowing what had happened to them, then eventually finding them only to have them reject you ? Ouch. The dad's an @sshole.



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 10:05 PM
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reply to post by wagtail
 


I certainly didn't mean to generalize all women. I was mostly speaking of women who fight their ex-husbands or ex-lovers (otherwise known as "baby's daddy") in court and take advantage of the courts bias.

My ex-wife was actually very civil during our divorce, not even exposing our child to any court battle so I definitely didn't mean to generalize all women. Also, I'm sure some men could fit a few of those categories, though not many and not nearly as often.

With that being said and without giving away too much information, I have had a lot of experience dealing with women in the family court system, just as described in my post above. It has peaked my interest since childhood, when I grew up in a similar situation.

That childhood experience peaked my interest and actually lead me to research, for a psychology class in college, the issue of women who will stop at nothing to alienate the father from their child, including the false allegation of child-molestation. It actually happens far more than most people think and in fact, the majority (by far) of complaints filed against fathers for child molestation by the mothers, at least in one state, turn out to be false. Most of them appear to be the result of a misguided tactic on behalf of the mother, yet their are absolutely no consequences for people (mothers) who use such dirty tactics.

A few of these cases (or more than a few) actually lead to prosecution. They all harm the children as the children have to go through extensive questioning, including being shown anatomically correct dolls. Many of these children are also "coached" or otherwise told of these false encounters by the misguided mother. This creates extremely harmful stress on the child and will often psychologically damage the child for life.

This also clogs the system, making it more difficult for real and valid complaints to get through and processed. It also creates abnormal and unhealthy skepticism in the social workers who have to investigate these claims, leading to many children not getting the relief that they need.

The point here is that the family court system is a failed system, leaving only one option for many parents. If a mother feels that her child is in danger with the father, she can easily remedy the problem, however if a father feels that his child is in danger, there is absolutely nowhere for him to turn. He has only one option and that is to remove the child from the situation. Sadly this isn't even a viable option in most cases, as it is almost impossible to get away with and the child will be returned to the dangerous situation and the father will lose his freedom and chance to further throw away money in the court systems.

--airspoon



posted on Jun, 6 2010 @ 10:09 PM
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reply to post by webpirate
 


Weird story.. but I think the mom was a bit spiteful and simply focused on her own desires.. sad all around, but the kids don't know her, and she just turned their world upside down.

From what we can gather from the story, the father wasn't a bad father, the kids loved him, and they liked their life. The daughter turns down the mother, probably completely weirded out by the whole ordeal ... so the mom has the father arrested.
Ya, because that's how you get you're kids who don't even remember you to love you again..

Some people..




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