Sarah Converted To Islam Last week

Perhaps he should treat her in accordance with her faith, as practiced by those in Mecca.

Take away all the western abominations she has, make up, music, magazines etc. She being a child and a woman, is to obey strictly the rules of the father. She cannot be out alone, or without an adult male relative. Then he can start deciding who her husband will be, which she will have no say in determining. Make sure she adheres to her prayer times(bright and early every day), and never eats anything pork.

Then question her on her new faith to see what she knows about it.

That phase will likely end quickly.

Let her do what she wants. Is she wants to follow this faith, it is her choice. The parents should make sure she is well educated however and make sure she is completely secure in this choice.

Having known Muslims, I feel like a good amount of the haters have never dealt directly with them. Those I have met have been friendly, open people who never push their beliefs. Hell, one is so hell bent on helping people he's dedicated his life to working on and helping to engineer hospital use technologies.

Extremists exist everywhere and in every faith. People need to focus on the extremists next door and abroad.

reply to post by Dr Conspire


Well you can take Islam and shuv it. We have a thing called freedom here in the west, and Islam does not fit. Hell, even Christianity and Judaism are becomming a cancer, benign, but still a cancer.

I don't want my future son to go to the beach one day and not be able to see chicks in bikinis, if/when that day comes it will be the end of America.

reply to post by Dr Conspire


So I was right?

Perhaps in certain american towns , it is not the issue that she has chosen another religion, moreso it is that she has chosen not to be like them. It could be .. a close knit community like some are , that it is the de facto course of action that you become a christian. Not whether you actually believe it or not , but by customary social circumstances that lever you into that position.

Originally posted by Wolf321
Perhaps he should treat her in accordance with her faith, as practiced by those in Mecca.

Take away all the western abominations she has, make up, music, magazines etc. She being a child and a woman, is to obey strictly the rules of the father. She cannot be out alone, or without an adult male relative. Then he can start deciding who her husband will be, which she will have no say in determining. Make sure she adheres to her prayer times(bright and early every day), and never eats anything pork.

Then question her on her new faith to see what she knows about it.

That phase will likely end quickly.

My thoughts exactly. Because of her age I'm gonna say she's in this for the shock value. Teenagers are always looking for ways to define themselves as individuals. They usually latch onto an already established counterculture because they lack the critical thinking skills necessary to define themselves on their own terms. By the time she's 25 she'll probably look back at this phase and laugh.

Originally posted by Horza
reply to post by Dr Conspire

 

I believe the situation that your brother is going through is one of, if not the biggest challenge a parent will face and their response may have the most lasting impact on their relationship with their child.

The challenge faced when your child decides to make their own decision about what life philosophy they believe in, especially when that decision is different or the opposite of what you believe in.

Yes these conversions are happening but also keep in mind that conversions are happening from one religion to another all the time. There is nothing we should do to "handle" these conversions. Choosing ones religion is a fundamental human right.

What we need to do, however, is handle how we accept a conversion when it happens to involve a close friend or family member especially if they are converting to a religion that we, personally, do not believe in. That, is the the big challenge.

Conversions like this only become a negative development when there is a lack of support for or resistance to the decision.

If we are able to accept and support our family/friend looking us in the eye and saying "I believe in something that is different to what you believe in" then yes, as you say, it could be a pathway to peace and harmony.

In saying all this, a child, especially teenagers, do need and no matter what they say, crave direction from their parents.

If your brother and his wife could connect with their daughter on this issue and explore her reasons for the decision then maybe a compromise that suits the whole family can be found.

Thanks for the reasoned and wise response I will pass that on to my Brother , but at the moment they cant look her in the eye as sh is wearing the Burqa continually and refusing to attend school.
But the majority of your words Iam sure will help him as he is blaming himself for perhaps allowing his wife to be too extreme in her teaching of Christianity to Sarah.

Originally posted by Stormdancer777
reply to post by Dr Conspire

 

Maybe she will get tired of it, after living with certain freedoms, I don't understand why a women would want to go backward,

Maybe when bikini season rolls around she will figure it out.

For all you know, the women run around nude under those get ups. Maybe it's more of a thrill than running around in a bikini, I don't know. I think the 70's colors (brown and tan with some orange and yellow) are a little sad looking, and I would detest 'calls to prayer', personally. Really, the color themes are a bit morose, in that religion, at least for me. It makes me think of 'planet' movies, or even some Bruce Lees flicks, whenever I see those rituals, in the media. However, I'll bet that Al Jezeera has more accurate reporting than the media war mongers here.

It is easy to see, however, where converts get their reasons. There are some hardcore Nurse Ratchet types in the Jesus set.

It wouldn't hurt to try changing up the Jesus thing to not be so insane, so pain inflicting, and so silly. Maybe your converts will gain some sense and come back? Without even looking at the TV for inputs, I see plenty of crazy Christians, and I don't want to see this, believe me. It is, rather, so imposed!

They do have cool musical signatures, but music is something that usually can be transcended, or ignored, once any real soul development takes root.

If she is only 16, where did she get the burqa without her parents noticing? Was she pressured into it by anyone who lives nearby? Those are the questions I would be asking.

I would be pretty worried if I had a 16 year old making such a decision, because religion is a big commitment and this one doesn't treat women so kindly. But as many have said, it is more than likely a phase.

I too am against any kind of organized religion. It is my view that 90% of it is a hidden agenda to control people en masse and only 10% is actually based on true belief.

I believe in total tolerance. In the end the main purpose of religion is to understand something that cannot be explained by tangible means. Whatever makes someone feel whole and happy then good for them.

My ONLY concern would be to find out from the girl what her influences were. If it was from personal study, research, and soul searching then you have nothing to worry about. If it was some form of peer pressure then the parents have legitimate concerns!! I'd reply the same to a Muslim family whose daughter converted to Christianity too. All religions rely on, and at times exploit, the power of peer pressure and social trends.

If it's truly what she wishes then I would make sure she is fully aware of what kind of persecution she will inevitably face throughout her life or at least until these two religions can learn to get along.

and parents thought the all-black-goth-i-wanna-kill-myself thing was bad.

hopefully she understands it wouldn't be quite the same 'over there'. and that even here the women are expected to retain some vestige of the parent culture. oh man... and what if she hooks up with some foreign national and they have a kid? she better not let him take it "home".

the burqa is not just for making your eyes, hands, and feet look really hot. when i was her age if you wanted to rattle the parental cage it was Satan. just to watch the jaws drop you sport a slayer shirt, a pack of marlboros, throw out the metal horns and proclaim that god is "a bastard... even if it does exist". if this didn't get them questioning their parenting skills nothing would short of a trip to juvenile hall. before that it was commies & hippies.

then again... i could see being raised in a "born again" household as enough incentive to go to bat for another team. i mean normal christians can be hard enough deal with, compound it with the overzealous nature of the "born again" movement and you have perfect chemistry for cultivating rebellious youth.

maybe she's been bible thumped a bit too much? even the scriptures, (new testament) warn against the perils of zealotry.

hey at least it's not the trench coat mafia brand of crying out for help.

speaking as a parent:

it was mentioned "Not in my house!" i totally agree. if it doesn't float or fly then lay down the law. if she is still a juvenile then in all reality she has little choice. cut her off. no phone, no car, no tv, no ipod, etc. etc. it may sound draconian to some, but hardly compared to the lifetime of servitude she may be setting herself up for. she will have to get used to living under someone else's law, so she should have no problem paying the same respect while under her parents roof. that is to say, this IS all about integrity right? (if not, then her parents can easily call her bluff.)

of course being too strict will push her into mohammed's arms as if by demons be driven. can't stress this enough. same principle applies to boyfriends you don't like. just pretend you do and they will go away. if you hate him, expect a grandchild in the near future.

good luck with that. and may your friend's gravy bowl runneth over.

That is the problem , this 'extreme teaching'. what does that involve .. something nasty I bet . These children don't know which way to turn , they are in a closed environment where they have this constant hostile input and they look for a way out , even if it means the antithesis of what they are being indoctrinated with

just wanted to add:

must be like being a texan or a real southerner and having your first born turn vegan.



edit: uuuuummm ... you might want to let your bro know that parents can be held accountable by law if the girl doesn't attend school. i know this sounds a bit old testament but isn't one of the tenets "Honor thy father and mother"? i think christians, muslims, and jews can all agree upon this.

sounds like some hardcore parenting needs to happen.



[edit on 28/5/2010 by gravykraken]

Originally posted by Misoir

Originally posted by Just Wondering
reply to post by Misoir

 

she is 16 hell yes he can rip that stupid burqa off her haid stop her. she is a child and doesn't know what she is getting into.
poor girl. the religion of peace my ass they need to be stopped at whatever the cost.

Islam is a cancer on civilization.
[edit on 5/28/10 by Misoir]

ALL organized religion are cancers upon civilization, ALL OF them.

Not just Islam.

The very worst thing in our world from the recent past and now is organized religion of all type.

They should come to London EN for a bout of hedonistic purification to wipe away any traces of residue religious tendencies.

reply to post by Dr Conspire


IMO Our American culture has degraded to "Ghetto Culture".

What use to be reserved 30 year years ago to Rush Street ladies of the night with their sleezy pimps has now become acceptable American fare.

While I don't approve of any religious dogma, at least "Sarah" has chosen something other than the ghetto culture so prevalent in America now.

I would be more worried if she were into hip hop.

I prefer middle eastern music over the angry jabber talk of hip hop and while the veil is a signal of repression in women it at least does not exploit them sexually.

I don't know it's a mixed bag. One extreme or the other and extremes of any kind are dangerous.

The more you fight it the deeper she is going to plant her feet.

Wearing a veil is not going to harm her, she's not doing drugs, drinking or wearing skirts that expose parts of her body that should remain private.

It's a mix bag and the more you butt heads with her the more she is going to feel she has to hold onto this (probably) phase.

For me it was bell bottoms, tube tops, love beads, protesting the war in Nam, buddhism and the beatles.

I don't envy parents now days. Parenting becomes rougher each decade that passes.

Maybe Sarah is very bright and is rejecting our country's anything for a buck mentality.

She is trying to find out who she is.

And, maybe, just maybe in one of her past lives she hailed from the middle east.

Maybe rent a few books from the library, read the Koran, sit down and instead of talking to her, ask her why she has chosen this option.

Then after you ask her, as hard as it may be, keep your mouth shut and listen. Don't argue with her that will just set her off more. Try and listen to her reasoning quietly and when she is done, simply say, I respect you as a person and need to think on the things you have spoken to me about.

I went through a son that was into a gang, the gangster disciples - a hard hitting heavy duty dangerous bunch of jerks. At least what your daughter has chosen for now isn't that.

We went through a lot but kept the lines of communication open. Don't close off to her or make her close off to you because then you may lose her altogether.

My son, is now approaching middle age, a responsible and loving father, a productive member of society. He has said to me now he doesn't know how he could have put us through all that he did and he is truly sorry for his past choices. He has also mentioned that the one thing that made him turn around was that my husband and I never stopped loving him.

Stay cool, be respectful (your situation is different than mine, we could not respect a criminal pattern in any way shape or form).

Your daughter could have chosen a worse culture to embrace.

As a side note: We have Muslims that live around us and they are nice family oriented folks. Not all Muslims are terrorists.

Good luck and keep us apprised on how your family is dealing with this.


[edit on 28-5-2010 by ofhumandescent]

reply to post by ofhumandescent


A lot of empathy and wisdom put into words , thanks for the reply, I will email your post to my brother.

reply to post by Wolf321


Get off your high arrogant patriotic horse.

The more the parents thumb down on her the more she is going to rebel.

Yes, you are most correct, magazines, alcohol, driving, walking anywhere without a male family member is not allowed over there for women.

For all you know she may be being pressured by her peers into having sex at 16 like many young girls and this may be her way of stopping that.

Be kind, not judgemental.


[edit on 28-5-2010 by ofhumandescent]

*AHEM* RELIGIOUS FREEDOM, RIGHT?!

Its something how folks EMBRACE religious freedom when it applies to themselves, but DENY religious freedom when it involves another faith!!

Folks are SO quick to SCREAM religious freedom when it applies to themselves ONLY. And DENY religious freedom for another faith EVEN when it includes a friend or family member of theirs!!

Funny how it is, ah?





[edit on 28-5-2010 by Shine71]

reply to post by Misoir

Well you can take Islam and shuv it. We have a thing called freedom here in the west, and Islam does not

That is a contradiction, freedom to be Christian, Buddhists, Muslim, Pagan, or any other of the numerous religions.

But then again, I would suggest reading Hot Baked Tater's intellegent post.

ALL organized religion are cancers upon civilization, ALL OF them.

Not just Islam.

The very worst thing in our world from the recent past and now is organized religion of all type. - Hot Baked Tater

All of the major religions were invented to control and manipulate humanity into submission.

The real itch is that Sarah is turning her back on "Christianity" and that erks a lot of you off out there that think your god is the only right god, your way is the only right way and that has been the basic problem with humanity since day one.

We all need to be more tolerant.

I do know two Muslim families and they are kind, quiet, and have never once preached to any of us how we should become Muslim. They preach less than the Born Againers we know.

We are all a part of God, like drops of water - "God'' is the ocean. We are all that connected.