reply to post by snowflake_obsidian
Well if you get her tested they are probably going to tell you, "yes she has ADD." When in reality the child may not, the hard fact is that close to
the majority, if not everyone, has some sort of ADD or ADHD it is a common fact that sometimes a person feels more hyperactive at times than others
its just sometimes people lose the control to turn that hyperactivity off. This is usually found in children that are young, because they are KIDS.
That is what kids do. Especially around the age of 8-12 when the rebellion phase begins. In order to deal with this without meds (Which is the easy
way out and may not even work/have more harmful side effects than good like being withdrawn or having a hard time being social), simply start with
being the parent. This is honestly the true root of most ADD/ADHD problems/issues. It is important to teach the child self control and self restraint,
but it is also important to teach a child priorities and responsibilities.
For instance, put her in a dance class, a softball class, buy her a camera and teach her how to take pictures and try to sell them or have her help
you around the house for a few bucks. Teach her how to manage money, if you go the house route. Sit her down and show her. While you as the parent
maybe saying, "TheMythLives, your only an 18 year old who clearly knows nothing. My daughter will not want to learn that." While that maybe your
train of thought, that may not be your daughters. Have her understand the priorities of family over the TV or in this case school before fun. Talk to
her about what she wants to be when she gets older. Treat her as a person. Talk to her rather than yelling. As with most behavior it is learned and in
most cases transformed to form around that persons young personality. In order to reverse the way your daughter is going with the arguing and "I dont
know" comments. Use the method of cause and effect or action and consequence. For everything she does wrong, remove one thing from her room or one
thing that she likes to do. She will have a fit! And may even break you, but at the same time teach her and just talk to her about cause and effect
and actions. Make her learn something even in punishment, but DO NOT YELL.
Yelling is a common mistake, used for intimidation. Which will most likely backfire in most cases. Instead just talk to her calmly if she yells at you
let her, but tell her your removing her phone or TV from her room for her disrespect and in order to get it back she has to do something around the
house like clean the bathroom. Apply this method toward homework. Call the school and talk to the principal, get the homework assignments written by
by each teacher with their signature along with there phone numbers that way you can make sure you have the complete list of homework and the teachers
phone number. If she refuses to do her homework walk into her room and take out her TV. Tell her she has to do her homework and clean the windows in
the house and she can have her TV back.
Now you also mentioned a borderline parent which is your mother and your brother who may have ADD also. Borderline parents are usually people who
believe they have the right in every situation. For more info visit here:
Some excellent book sources
What else are you having concerns with? Is there some experience that you may feel she is lashing out with? Remember that girls mature faster than
boys, hence puberty and hormonal changes may also be at fault here. Let me know what other concerns you have. And remember these are just my thoughts,
I am not doctor..lol.. Had to throw it out there! And you know it was funny! SO laugh and smile
But seriously, if you have anything else you want
to add or talk about let me know, I am here.