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I dare you to find a better opening line than this one...

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posted on May, 25 2010 @ 10:41 PM
Hey ATS land, I bet you can't find an article with a more outrageous opening line than this one;

No Jail Time For Man Arrested In Captain America Costume

BERVARD COUNTY, Fla. -- The Brevard County doctor who was arrested for groping a woman while dressed as Captain America with a burrito in his pants will not go to jail.

Instead, Doctor Raymond Adamcik will take part in a diversion program for first time offenders, which includes community service, fines and random alcohol and drug testing.

The charges will not show up on his criminal record.


I know we have plenty of folks who spend WAY too much time trolling the internet looking for crazy stories to post on this site. I'm sure we've all seen some pretty wierd stuff that may be too hard to believe.

I believe this has got the freakiest opening line I've ever seen and I bet all of you, even with all of your search capabilities, cannot find something crazier than this one.

Anyone want to take me up on this challenge?

It has to be a real news story and you have to provide a link to prove it.

C'mon folks, let's see what you got.

[edit on 5/25/10 by FortAnthem]

posted on May, 26 2010 @ 06:57 AM
BERVARD COUNTY, Fla. -- The Brevard County doctor who was arrested for groping a woman while dressed as Captain America with a burrito in his pants will not go to jail.

The Physician, who cannot be named because of
his 'out-of-hours' escapades and his linen mask,
revealed to this reporter that the burrito that was
allegedly discovered in his costume, comprised of
mainly beef and beans.
Burrito... or 'Little Donkey' in Spanish, is a favourite
dish with many top-flight surgeons and gynaecologists.

Judge Dredd, hosting the court proceedings said:
"The poor guy fell forwards onto Mary-Jane because his
tights were twisted and his legs were numb"
Dredd, a fellow Freemason with the Doctor, went on to say
"Mary-Jane is always getting into scrapes like this... and
anyway, she loves burritos"

The case continues.

posted on May, 26 2010 @ 07:17 AM
reply to post by FortAnthem

You're right, I can't find a crazier headline to a story.

He was probably saying to her "Relax, I'm a doctor..."

posted on Jul, 28 2010 @ 05:53 PM
C'mon folks, you're not even trying.

Two Mexican Midget Wrestlers Killed by Fake Prostitutes

MEXICO CITY — Mexican authorities say two professional wrestlers found dead in a low-rent hotel in the capital may have been drugged to death by female robbers.

Autopsies are being performed on the two midget wrestlers, one of whom went by the name "La Parkita" — or "Little Death" — and wore a skeleton costume in the ring. The other was known as "Espectrito Jr."

Fox News

posted on Dec, 6 2010 @ 09:04 PM
Robbed by a clown while on the toilet, you folks aren't even looking.

Jacqueline Cutright Robbed by Clown in Her Home While on Toilet (VIDEO)

That’s perhaps one of the weirdest headlines I’ve ever written, but it’s true. Jacqueline Cutright, a 70-year-old Ohio woman, was robbed while going to the bathroom in her Akron home.

It seems 22-year-old Cory Buckley broke into her house looking for drugs and cash.

Buckley, who was sporting a creepy clown mask, told Cutright that he wanted Oxycontin and her money.

Cutright then hollered at him from the toilet, “Boy did you break into the wrong house – a poor person lives here.”

Buckley left with about $28 in cash and a bunch of costume jewelry, along with Cutright’s 1991 Ford Escort.

I think the cash he stole was worth more than that Escort.

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