Deep Thoughts

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posted on Jun, 8 2004 @ 11:01 AM
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Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's
schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
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If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
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Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket? -
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Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
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Why do bullies always ask "what?s your problem" when they're obviously
not going to solve it?
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Do stairs go up or down?
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When people say, "I'm so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so
much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first
place?
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Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
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Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
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Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go
up?
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If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to
change
their name to Knockers?
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If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
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Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
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Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
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When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
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Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers
from the people that got there first?
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If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
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Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
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Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
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"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are
buttons cute?
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Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time? -
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Are marbles made of marble?
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Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup? -
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do
you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
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Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? -
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Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm
gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
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Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? -
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
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Can you get cornered in a round room?
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Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
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Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
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If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to
use a handicapped toilet?
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In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
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How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it
realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire
and brimstone?
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Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it
becomes extra tempting to eat?
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Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
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Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like
chocolate?
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Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular
television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
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"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in
law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
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Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli'
meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'? -
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is
clear??
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Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter
when you use the restroom?
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Can mute people burp?
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What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave
popcorn?
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Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the
hardest thing to eat with?
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How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play? 0 If a fork were
made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
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If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold? -
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Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant
for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside? -
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Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from
cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
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Do they have girl's bathrooms in gay bars?
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Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
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Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us
we are put into the loony bin?
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Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth
before you go back?
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Why does shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
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Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
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Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
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If you're sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel
school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
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Why do dogs sniff other dog's bottoms to say hello, why don't they just
bark in their face or something?
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Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?
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If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it? You know
the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?




posted on Jun, 9 2004 @ 03:33 PM
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Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?


This is SO true, hehe...



posted on Jun, 9 2004 @ 03:42 PM
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Ahhhhhh, Now my minds all screwed up after reading those. Amazing how I never thought of any of those before.

There's a term in English for the statements that you questioned. It's called an idiom.(ie put your heads together)





 
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