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High energy - and other jokes

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posted on May, 17 2010 @ 08:23 PM
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What would happen if a top or bottom quark actually maintained their high-energy states, rather than undergoing particle decay?

At some point shortly after the Big Bang, could they have done this? If so, what factors would allow them to do so?

[edit on 18-5-2010 by Truth1000]




posted on May, 17 2010 @ 08:28 PM
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reply to post by Truth1000
 


Is this a conspiracy forum topic?

Might as well ask if you can store energy in nuclear isomers.



posted on May, 17 2010 @ 08:35 PM
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It sure would come in handy!

Why rely on "up" and "down" all the time?

How about a charming solution to the problem?



posted on May, 17 2010 @ 09:04 PM
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Hey Bedlam,

Back in the late 50s there was a new guided missile being developed called the "Snark." The USAF wanted to launch them quickly and to demonstrate this capabilitiy, they arranged for a show to the media of this new capability. The Snark was interesting for launching, because it had a small solid rocket motor that would initiate the launch, following by the ignition of the main engine.

When the time came, news media people from all over showed up. The first launch looked good, as the SRM shot the rocket off the pad and over the Atlantic. However, the main engine failed to ignite, and the SNARK went into the water. They had a 30-mins turn around time, so a half-hour later, a second Snark rose up into the air, pushed skyward by its SRM. As you can already guess, the main engine failed and the missile went into the drink. Thirty minutes later, the same episode was replayed a third time.

The New York Times reporter led his article off with this statement:

If you are going on vacation to Florida, stay away from Cocoa Beach; because they now have Snark-infested waters! lol



posted on May, 17 2010 @ 10:30 PM
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Geez, I remember that joke. It sort of predates me, though.

I think I first heard it when I was a kid and we went to see Skylab go up, I think I was 10.

I guess their Snarks weren't Boojums.



posted on May, 18 2010 @ 07:46 AM
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How about this then.

Coca-cola wanted to be the first soft drink in space, and asked NASA if they could fly on the shuttle. NASA's reply was that they could, under two conditions. First, they would have to come up with a dispensing mechanism suitable for flight. If you just pop the top of a can, the internal pressure from the CO2 would squirt the soda all over the cabin. Second, they would have to pay for the weight. For a six-pack, that came out to $69,000. The cost didn't phase Coke, since they spend millions at the Super Bowl, World Series, etc. They decided to send two six-packs up.

Everything was on until about six months before the mission. Pepsi found out and filed a lawsuit, since there had been no opern compitition and NASA is a government agency. Pretty soon, a whole bunch of other soft drinks filed suit. They ended up having a taste test, and surprisingly enough, Coco-Cola won. Pepsi got to send there's up a couple of mission later, though.

When they make it to space, the crew said, "Hey, we don't have to drink Tang or fruit juices, we have Coca-Cola!" The cans looked like regular 12-oz cans, but only held four ounces of Coke, because the rest was the dispensing mechanism. They were pretty cool. On the top, there was a small nozzle, with an ovoid red button, that when depressed would issue a small stream of the soda.

Well, one on the guys srayed a little Coke into the air to see what would happen. He got a surprise. It formed a sphere, with the foam coming off every direction, since there was no glass holding it. All you could see was the foam. Soon, several "balls" of Coca-Cola were floating in the middeck. One of the guys said, "Blow that ball of Coke over here and I'll see if I can catch it in my mouth. The other guy blew on the ball of Coke, and it slowly floated over and the astronaut caught it in his mouth.

This was now more fun than eating, so they started blowing on the balls of Coke and catching the wandering spheres of Coke with their mouths. One of the guys didn't blow quite right, and his breath caught the ball of Coke on the side. Instead of just floating over, it started to spin. With centrifigal force added, the heavier syrup went to the "equator" while the lighter foam went to the "poles." Then the guys tried to see who could make their balls of Coke spin the fastest.

Before long, one of the balls was spinning so fast that the centrifigal forces involved overcame the forces of cohesion, and the ball of Coke detonated in all directions. Then the sticky syrup got everywhere, so they had to scrub down the middeck.

When they returned to Earth, the crews have to go through a lengthy de-briefing, that sometimes lasts longer than the mission itself. On the second day of the debriefing, when they returned from lunch, one of the dull NASA managers began to show the middeck camera recording what they did with the Coca-Cola. When the tape got to where the Coke ball exploded, he turned of the video and asked, "What did you gentlemen think you were doing?" One of the crew piped up, "We were performing a middeck fluid dynamics expirement."

Well, one of the engineers at the back of the room was interested in how the Coca-Cola had behaved. Whitout telling what fluid it was, he wrote up a paper and had it published under the name, "Fluid Dynamics in a Micro-Gravity Environment." It was published in a physics journal in Germany, I believe.

Anyway, about a year after the mission, NASA publishes a review of all of the successful events of each space mission. When this was done for this mission, one of the "successes" was a middeck fluid dynamics experiment resulting in the publishing of a scientific article. What NASA didn't say was that it was all because the crew were blowing spheres of Cocc-Cola back and forth to each other so they could catch them in their mouths!



posted on May, 18 2010 @ 06:57 PM
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Here's another one. Most people don't really hear about the experience of being in space. I think this is humorous.

When astronauts go into space, there is a fluid shift as the legs squeeze the blood from the legs up to the upper half of the body. This is needed on Earth because the blood has to fight the effects of gravity, which tends to try to pool the blood in the legs. Not knowing about micro-gravity, the legs squeeze the blood just like always.

This fluid shift causes swelling of the face, nose, and upper half of the body. Because of this, for instance, astronauts have a bad tendency to smore a lot on orbit. One of the guys snored so badly they made him go up and sleep on the flight deck. He still kept them awake, so when he got back down, they said that while he was a fine astronaut, he wouldn't fly again unless he got a soft palate revision. He had the surgery done, and his wife thanked NASA tremendously. Still, though, when he went up he snored too loudly and they told him his career in spaceflight was over.

As an aside, the breasts are on the upper half of the body, so the female astronauts have to take up "Earth" bras, and "space" bras. Some of the women who were more endowed actually developed discomfort due to the increased size. Some of the less endowed women actually appreciated the experience. One even took up a bikini top and had pictures taken of her, so she could show people what she "really" looked like!

Even astronauts are still people!

[edit on 18-5-2010 by Truth1000]



posted on May, 20 2010 @ 09:10 AM
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One more story.

Alan Shepherd had a bad reputation as a jokester. This one time, while he was working with this stoic German scientist who had no sense of humor, the scientist realized he had left an important paper in his classified safe at his office off base. He drove this VW beetle, if you can imagine. Well, one of the local car dealerships was owned by a former NASCAR driver and he had given each astronaut a specially customized Corvette. Alan told the scientist that he deserved to live a little so Alan gave the keys to his Vette to the scientist. The guy protested, but quickly relented at the chance to drive the Vette.

As soon as the German scientist had left, Alan called Base Security and reported that someone had stolen his car. When the scientist got to the front gate, they arrested him and took him to the SP headquarters. Alan quickly got him out, but that scientist, who had been one of the men who had disliked the astronauts anyway, had been one of the guys who had pushed for the first launch of the Mercury to be with the monkey. Not sending up an astronaut on that mission was what allowed the Soviets the chance to send up Gagarin as the first person in space. That German had it out for Alan from that point on.

However, that was in the early days of the space program, and the original seven astronauts, except for John Glenn, were such big heroes that they did a lot of things that would have gotten other people arrested. Some of their stories are really hilarious.



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