posted on May, 17 2010 @ 03:58 PM
I have a few suggestions for his next ad but it may require some CGI.
Dale on horse back, riding down toward the Gulf spill in the middle of a raging storm. His Horse named "Freedom-Liberty-Gun-Rights" rears up as
lightning strikes. He continues riding even more determined as the rain-drops pound his weary face.
Suddenly Illegal aliens in sombreros try and hinder his journey by running alongside him, grabbing his jeans and begging for under-the-table work. He
swats them all away and yells, "I Don't Speak Spanish, damn you! This is America!"
He continues riding as tears well-up in his squinting eyes when he sees mysterious men in black hoods stealing his campaign signs from the front lawns
of God-fearin' citizens.
Dale arrives at the oil spill and it is monstrously huge. "Hussein Obama! Why'd you allow this to happen?", he yells and pulls out his rifle.
Aiming at the oil spill he says in a low gruff voice "Reagan knew this day would come." BLAM! He fires rounds into the oil-spill but it just makes
it even more angry. Dale then rides closer and using his lasso, he wrangles the spill! He's literally riding it like a wild bronco! Forcing the oil
spill into submission, he hog ties it and drags it to the beach.
Slow motion shot as he walks away covered in oil, dirt and blood. He grabs an American flag and walks back to the oil spill, planting it right into
its heart. Instantly kill it.
Just then Fat-Cats with top-hats and monocles come rushing out with buckets and try to feed on the oil-spill but Dale fires his gun in the air and
scares them all off.
"Go on, now GIT! This belongs to the people!"
He turns to his horse and says, "Freedom-Liberty-Gun-Rights, we did it. It don't stop here though. You think I'm dirty now? Wait till we head over
to that there Washington D.C. and take down the Congress!"
PRODUCTION NOTE: Put some peanut-butter on the Horses gums like they did with Mr.Ed so when he tries to get it off it looks like he's talking
and dub in Hank Hills voice so he says:
NEW CAMPAIGN SLOGAN: "Come Hide With Me In The 19th Century...It's Still Safe Here!"
That would be epic.
I'd even cast my vote for him on Dec. 12, 2012.