I am ecstatic to bring you...
The Revolutionary All-in-One Tin Foil Hat Society of America Member Package!
To be used during those extreme Paranoid Delusional moments.
This package includes all the latest in Paranoia Technology and includes
an officially licensed lifetime membership in the Tin Foil Hat Society of America which is endorsed by the Galactic Federation.
This exuberant package includes the following:
Commando style Quad-layered (for the utmost in protection) Tin Foil Hat.
This hat will block the strongest of signal waves from any source both from this World and beyond and is Multi-Dimensional Resistant up to six
Pair of Infrared Reptilian spotter glasses with a built in Infrared Nibiru viewer and four color molecular spectrum DNA analyzer.
Bluetooth enabled symphonicular earpiece capable of picking up frequencies on multiple wavelengths. This device can as well decipher all
known Extraterrestrial languages.
Alien Technology Sensor (ATS), this device allows you to scan everyday items to see if Alien technology has been used in it's
development. It also doubles as a Gravitolyptical Ionized Particle Trajectory Unit (GIPT-U).
Dual Polarity Somatic Scanner, this device will scan the DNA structure of any living creature. It has the ability to distinguish between
Earthly and Alien Shape Shifters such as the Reptilians. This device is also a functioning Cell Phone with Inter-Dimensional GPS (Galactic Positioning
System) and calling capability.
Official Custom Tin Foil Hat Member Society License, complete with an individual ID#.
Decoy Alien Baby as a deterrent to those Abducting Aliens. They will assume that you have already been processed and are already with
Alien-child and will pass you by when rounding up humans for reproductive experiments.
This All-in-One member package has been officially released and is finally available to the public.
Please allow us to show you how this membership package will look on you.
Our good looking
model will show you just how prepared you'll be once you're the proud owner of this Spectacular Tin Foil Hat Society Member
This is our model before becoming a member, poor guy, he's so vulnerable and he doesn't even know it.
Now look at our model, he is thoroughly equipped in style with the latest technology. Now he has no reason to be paranoid any longer as he is
protected with the most up to date technology within the Tin Foil Hat Industry.
...and a close-up...
Hurry!! Become a member while supplies last!!