reply to post by dalan.
I'm sorry...I don't think I have ever pointed out something like this as a defense...but are you aware that you have Pedobear in your avatar? I'm
gonna not make an assumption but if I have a cute woman in my avatar and people thought I was a woman, imagine what people might be thinking about you
with your avvie.
Now with that said I have the following for OP and the rest of the posters.
I believe in sex and sexuality. I think our bodies are meant to be experienced and they are meant to have fun with. It's flesh and dang it sex is a
But the thing is I also believe in the Wiccan Rede (or golden rule if you prefer a non-pagan touch)
An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will
I and my wife adore sex. We've done some things that many would see as taboo. Make no mistake I am not bragging by any means. What I am saying is
that to each their own. If you are into auto-erotic asphyxiation then fire away. If you want to swing, enter into orgies, play S/M, heck cut each
other up…whatever! Do what you want in your house or parlor or whatever. I would certainly be a hypocrite to say sex other than missionary is mad
cuz goddess knows if that were the rule I would be looooong gone in jail.
Now with that said
There is a far cry between my wife and I experimenting into wild insane fantasies when we are 30 and 26 respectively and a 13 year old girl having sex
with someone older. I am a soon-to-be adolescent psychologist. I absolutely refuse to judge my clients when I do get them because last I checked I am
not those kids so I have no clue what they’ve gone through. I am also a realist and I would be insane to think that somewhere right now probably
some young teenagers are engaging in sexual acts ranging from whatever to whatever. She could be 13…15…17…whatever. It is happening and to deny
that is blinded IMO. It’s all around us all day and it would take an unbelievable force to change it because human nature is sex and other vices and
sexual repression is just as ugly and dangerous as a histrionic extreme where a young girl turns into a virtual prostitute. If you repress and teach a
girl the ‘evils’ of sex you are contending with three forces that are unfortunately much more powerful than you are as a parent.
1. Media: Yes media does portray sex. It sells. I am a man and heck yes I look at beautiful women. Just look at my Billie Piper avatar there…What am
I gonna do? Should I deny and lie to you that I am a highly-charged and visual being? Heck no. The difference is that I know the lines and that I am
versatile. I love sex. ADORE it but I will be damned if I don’t adore cuddling and holding hands and non-sexual kisses from my wife. I love
intellectual conversation with her and I know not all roads lead to sex.
But to think media has no cause here might be premature and I do believe it has gotten worse. Somebody here mentioned that TV has always been like
this. I want you to view a few episodes of the Brady Bunch and then watch Hannah Montana. It is definitely a lot more sexual. Marcia Brady was very
beautiful IMO. Miley Cyrus…well I don’t personally think she is all that regardless of age but whatever…others think she is sexy as heck. Start
with the clothes and see the differences in what Marcia wore and what Hannah wears now. Look at their actions too. Ever seen a young Maureen McCormick
in a Vanity Fair spread like Miley Cyrus?
2. Environment: Look around folks. You can find some conservative towns where girls dress like girls and play My Little Pony and have tea parties.
When my cousin Kate was young I attended many a tea party. ((she brews well I might add)) And now that my adorable cousin Lauren is reaching that age
you better believe I am gonna read her Black Beauty. But as sure as these two girls are a fine example of a young girl I cannot for a second deny the
amazing and powerful sexuality exuded and exhibited by preteens and teens these days. I will have a story shortly that I personally dealt with.
3. Chemistry: Now this is a huge one for me. You can blame society and media all you want but NOTHING short of medical and chemical mutilation via
hormone suppressors will change the fact that a great deal of kids will look down one day and say “jesus…what is that feeling? Why is Billy or
Susie suddenly MUCH more fun to be around?” It happens folks and frankly I think repressing that is vile and terribly dangerous. It’s tantamount
to caging a wild boar and poking him. One day whether you like it or not someone is gonna let that boar out and now you have a real mess on your
hands. So you tell young Susie that these feelings shouldn’t happen and should be repressed and stored away and one day those feelings might come
back with a horrific vengeance. Now she hasn’t been taught how to responsibly use her body and now we have terrible decisions made.
In the same respect just slapping a girl some BC pills and saying have fun is just as bad. You haven’t taught her anything except that she can do
whatever and there are no consequences.
My wife and I used to teach volleyball to girls on my old base (ages 11-13). I had the girls who had a crush on me and it was adorable and all but
mostly we had some crazy good fun (not to mention some of those gals can outplay me)
Anywho…one day this girl shows up. She is 12. The rules are simple. Shorts or sweats, gym shoes and a reasonable shirt. Most of this is to avoid
injury. Any volleyball or tennis player will tell you that rolling your ankle SUCKS. So she shows up one day in hip-huggers jeans ALMOST showing what
I do not wanna see. She has an open-mid shirt showing her whole stomach off, a fake tan and a belly chain that rested over her back side with the
words “Playboy” in letters. I said hey and she said hey. I told her a couple notes she needed to tell her parents as I do with all of them and we
set off to the gym. I said, “ok well get changed and start stretching.” Apparently this WAS her uniform for the day. I won’t bore you on the
rest of the details but long story short she either changed or went home. She changed and her parents now hate my guts.
This brings me to the OP’s original question. Who is to blame? The parents IMO. Parents are so powerful and I learned this just taking care of my
two cousins. If I did something or acted in a way, they imitated. If I ignored then they free-lanced and did inappropriate things (nothing
terrible…just making the point)
It’s about a balance in my opinion. Don’t push or repress sexuality. We all go through it and either extreme (repression or suggesting) is
unhealthy. Teach her or him to be very careful and to take their time…BUT if they are going to do it anyway then teach them responsibility. Short of
chaining them up you aren’t going to stop them from doing it if they already want to and if you do succeed in stopping them then repression has
Don’t get me wrong here people. I still stand by my original thought. If my wife wants to dance around naked as a jaybird then so be it as long as I
consent. If she wants to do things that are taboo and it hurts none…so be it. The thing is she is 26 and mature. At the target age for Hannah
Montana I don’t see the maturity with maybe a couple exceptions. I just don’t think they fully understand the consequences of what they do.
STD’s, pregnancy, rape. Even if none of that occurs there is still an unspoken emotional damage that can occur. (note I am not saying it WILL
occur…just saying it can and does)
Heck even grown women and men have done something that later they regret terribly and they feel hollow but at least these adults can easily try to
sort through their emotions. Try doing the same mistakes when your hormones are bouncing off the walls and peer pressure is swamping you.
So in short (too late) media does indeed pick on that open sore, but I think the parents opened the sore. I see some examples of parents in here that
seem to have their crap together. They know there is a balance in all matters in life. good for you. That is the reason I am not a parent and won’t
be. I don’t like kids (of my own) and I am not responsible enough to instill those properly. Now if I do something stupid I am the one who gets
hurt, not my daughter or son.
Sorry all for the extreme length of this post. I am strongly in favor of balance in this matter.