Infinite's tears (My life in Poems)

As I suffer from depression, i wrote a lot of poems, so i thought i would share some poems with you guys

"I broke my angel"

shes lovely and kinda,
soft and sweet,
her wings shine in the winter rain,
she takes my pain,
and takes it away,
and yet her heart,
beats with pain,

My angel,
i broke,
corrupted her love,
and filled her with pain,
what have i done,
i broke my angel,

She sits and cry,
in the palm of my hand,
her little mind,
was broke over time,
now her halo,
will never shine


"Fake smile"

I wake up everyday,
and put on my fake smile,
the inside is hurting,
the outside is lying,

Everyone is smiling,
happy as can be,
why can't i be them,
im tired of being me,

another day,
another smile,
the pain smiles away,
my sanity drifts away

When i go to sleep,
i put my smile away,
then tomorrow,
i'll put it on again.


[edit on 27-7-2004 by infinite]

They are truly beautiful, Infinite. Thats about all I can say. The first one almost made me weep. Its so close to something that happened to me.
Thank you for that.

Thanx
It wasn't meant to make you weep

It wasn't that kind of weeping. It was just a remembrance of something. I should have let it out long ago, instead I went hard inside and refused to allow myself to love. I'm over that now, but your poem made me realise that theres always another side to every story.

Here are a few more poems, not my best ones, but i like them a lot. Hope you guys do aswell

"Her"

she was there for me,
she held me,
She helped me,
I wish you could see,
how much see means,
to me.

She is my Angel,
words can't describe her,
i love her,
But will she be there,
until the end of time.

That Angel is you,
but only if u knew,
her much i loved you,
you would see,
your everything to me.


"ghost"


a ghost is near,
i can feel it in my bones,
i can hear it calling my name,
in a deep tone,
its coming for me,

the ghost draws near,
and i can hear it screams,
i see it dressed in black,
walking towards me,

The ghost is my depression,
taking over me,
i can't control it,
or stop it,
its just there,
every day...

Right the final one is about child abuse. Some people have said this next poem is very powerful and emotional. This has to be one of my darkest poems.

"why"


It happened again,
they said they wouldn't,
they give me pain,
Im only 8,
why do they beat me,
so much.

If I tell someone,
they will get me,
can someone help me,
u don't see what i see,
feel,
what i feel,

Why do they hit me,
my eyes are red,
im hiding in my bed,
i think my jaw is broken,
and so is my heart.

[edit on 7-6-2004 by infinite]

Beautiful poems!! Very talented you are. (i get the feeling someone broke up with you though..sorry if i brought it up )

Very nice infinite.
I'm quote fond of poems, done a few myself, but lack the courage to place them within public view.

Look forward to reading more in the future.


seekerof

great poems. My favorite would have to be "fake smile". i used to be like that (i went through a year of depression about 6 months ago) and felt much like the feeling expressed in that poem. I also wrote two much like yours, and if you'd like, I can u2u you them. Just lemme know.

Great job though, I'm in awe at the quality and the fact that you are willing to post these for who-knows to see.

Never Mind....Wrong Thread

[edit on 19-6-2004 by websurfer]

Oh yeah, after reading the posts by Infinite I would have to say "ghost" was the best poem posted.

Thank you for the kind words guys this is the only time i have shared my poems, i kinda don't like people reading them. But thanx for the replys



A lot of things have happened so thats where i got my ideas from

(This is one i just wrote of the top of my head, words just came out so i wrote them up as i thought them)

"So sick"

Give all the death back to God tonight,
all little people weap with apathy,
but their little eyes are too blind to see,
the brainwashing brainchild of a pyscho,
well i'll never love you,
but the soul weeps away,
my heart needs you,

A slashed wrisit of a broken heart,
cuts deeper and bleeds to the mark,
the forgotten blood drips from the vain
of a abused child dying in the winters rain,
We look,pray and cry for God,
but all we get is a silence.

The worst feeling in the world is loving someone
and not being loved back,
my heavenly father walks away,
im just so sick and tired of this pain

beautiful work, I especially liked "fake smile", it reminded me of a dark period in my life.

keep writing, I hope to see the evolution of your writing and your persona as well into something happier and brighter in the future.

i have considered getting some publish, but i don't know, still thinking about it.

"waiting"

You still haven't called,
i wait by the phone,
i sit all alone,
Praying for you

I don't need you smypthy,
you took my sanity,
and drove me away,
this pain has been here,
since you broke my heart.

From the start,
things went so well,
what went wrong,
what happened to you,
I wish i never said the words,
"I love you"

If i could turn back time,
I probably would,
But who am i kidding,
you will probably do the same,

Your picture fades,
and the days seem harder,
time seems slower,
and the phone just sits there,
waiting for you.

"I am nothing"

I lay here raped and torn,
Spitting blood over your deadly sins,
Your sadistic torment i will never understand why,
All the pain will stay inside until i die,
I am nothing,
I am nothing,
I am nothing,
I am nothing,
I am nothing,
I am nothing,
I am nothing,
My mind keeps telling me,
I am nothing,
Being nothing is better then being something,
No one came to catch my tears when i cry,
And no one will ever call when i die.

Very beutiful and Very Deep. You just dug up some very tough memories. You have a gift for touching very deep inner feeling. Thank you Infinite! I know the feeling that inspired some of these poems, I can feel the pain that runs deep in the words. I know you must be hurting, by the way you used these word. If you want to talk, U2U me. Good Luck!

Tim
ATS Director of Counter-Ignorance

Thank you ghost

"Dear God...."

I can't take much more of this life,
No one knows what its like to cry
At night and wishing to die,
Always turn my head to the sky,
But always no one is there to listen,

All i wanted was someone to love me,
Someone to care for me,
To catch my tears,
And take away all my fears,
But that someone has never come,

Im sick and tired now of this hurt,
these are my words,
Life is a curse,
Suicide is my way of telling God
"I QUIT"


[edit on 27-7-2004 by infinite]

Nice work Infinite! Do you per chance sing in a band? I had the strange sensation of music in the background as I was reading the poems.

Ermm, no i don't.
Thank you for the nice words thou