Originally posted by Jenna
[I don't want the guys afraid they'll be accused of something just for posting in this thread.
Jenna, this really bugs me.
You start a thread with a very valid point, you lay it out, making it crystal clear that you're not talking about ALL men. You are clear that it
wasn't inspired by something that was said to you
personally and you define your focus with very good and logical questions.
You get challenged and attacked time and time again (because some men had such an emotional and personal reaction to your OP - all the while accusing
women of being emotional and taking it personally) and now you want to protect them from being afraid to post here?
THIS is the double standard at play here. THIS is part of the problem.
I find it interesting as I read over this thread that there are so many accusations of women being "emotional", yet, if you read the posts, it's
not the women who are being emotional, sensitive and defensive here.
Also, you have been asked several times to prove your claims with links to specific posts, and yet the people who are asking this have gone on to make
accusations themselves without any links to prove their claims. Double standard.
I think this illustrates a major problem. And that is that the expectations that some
men have of women are FAR higher or more strict than
those they have of themselves. It's a double standard that SHOULD be brought to light, not hidden, so the guys won't be afraid to post. They
weren't afraid to post a few pages back. They had plenty to say.
Here's a Thread
(so I can show proof) that generalizes women. No big deal. But I
can't help notice that no women came in there and asked the OP for proof of his claims, no one became enraged and used a bunch of exclamation points,
nor did the thread turn nasty or last 20 pages. Just a simple little question and discussion.
Why is this thread different? Because of the double standard.
Here's another one.
No women came in and chewed this guy out for his OP or demanded
sources or anything. Just a couple of pages of random comments on women.
. And BTS is LOADED with full-out anti-woman threads.
Why is it that men can start these types of threads talking about men and women, but when a woman starts one, it gets all kids of emotional and
defensive responses from men who are somehow taking it personally, when they haven't even been attacked? It's the very double standard that you
bring up in your OP.
This generalization that you brought up DOES exist. That's not an attack on men and it's not to say that all men have it. I'm married to a man who
respects and honors women. There are plenty of men who do. I LOVE men! Yet, it's curious that in this day and age, there are still men who think like
illustrate. And they are HERE on ATS. They are
everywhere. It's not unrealistic to wonder about it and want to have a discussion about it. And if the double standard ISN'T pointed out as nunya13
tries to point out, no one is ever going to see it and it will be pushed under the rug again.
I don't think it's helpful to make your claim and then not be willing to state exactly what the problem is. And show examples. Men need that. I know
you don't want to appear to be an ass, and I respect that. But if you just state things as a general problem without specifics, then how are these
men supposed to understand what you're talking about? And if you protect their feelings by NOT being specific, who can blame them for getting angry?
Maybe it's the stuff I've learned about men in my 18-year marriage, but men ARE different. And one way they're different is that they don't
(can't?) appreciate generalities. They like concrete examples. Pussyfooting around just makes it look like you're whining and complaining about a
general feeling. I know you're not, but unless you are willing to lay it out there, don't expect them to "get it".
Everything I just said is purely my opinion and I'm perfectly willing to be wrong.