Can a misanthrope find love?

Where can a misanthrope find acceptance? or love?

I both hate and fear people in equal measure, so I live a very isolated life. I greatly long for interaction with others who would accept me as I am and not pressure me to conform to what society says I'm supposed to be, (positive, happy, etc). Where can I go to find somewhere that I might actually fit in?

I don't know anywhere in real life where someone like me would be accepted, and I haven't yet found anywhere online either. I've even tried an online community for the mentally ill, thinking perhaps they would accept me if anyone would, but I was wrong. Negativity just isn't tolerated anywhere, not even amongst the mentally ill... So someone like me who is incapable of conforming, truly just has to walk alone. And I am so tired of walking alone.

I've tried nearly everything from religion to counseling to medication to health and fitness... Nothing has worked. I'll never find any sort of peace or contentment in this life until I can find people, or at least someone, who doesn't make me feel less than human just because I strongly dislike people. I absolutely loathe human beings, yes I know that is horrible but there just seems to be no limit to human stupidity and ignorance and I just honestly cannot stand people.

I don't wish any harm on anyone, I'm not a psycho. But my disgust for human beings is so deep and profound that I don't feel there is any hope of me finding anywhere that I'll fit in and be accepted unless it's with other people who feel the same way I do. But where do I find people like that?

[edit on 30-4-2010 by The Quiet Storm]

All you can do is try and meet more and more people until you find those who seem to "fit" with your world view, is all... Kind of sounds like a Goth mantra...maybe try that scene? Seriously though, you may need to be more honest with yourself...

On one hand, you say you hate people and don't want to conform.

On the other, you say you want to find people to accept you.

Kind of a contradiction there....

Personally, I know many folks who would be considered "out there" by many standards...between Pagans, Wiccans, Ren Fest folks, gypsies, hippies, part-time Pirates and part-time Imperial Stormtroopers, it's an interesting mosaic... You may just need to kind of put yourself out there a bit. After all, if you hate people, what do you care if they don't accept you? Just move on to the next group until you find them....

All it takes is to meet another misanthrope. I did and now find myself happily married. Keep looking and good luck!

reply to post by traditionaldrummer


I think you understand. Thanks, and congrats on your success.

theyr right bro! when you find a person that has the same things as you do,loveREALLY happens^^

Well,I know how you feel.

I was much like you are when I was younger.

I finally had an epiphany that it wasn't people I hated,it was who I was I hated.

I egotistically thought I was so superior to mere mortal humans that I could not lower myself to their level of just being human.

I didn't "know" how to be a "regular" person.

So I learned how,by becoming another person.

The person whom I wanted to be.

It was not that hard.

I left behind my old "identity"and became a whole new person.

Go see a good hypnotist.

Honestly tell them what your situation is and see if they can help you.

The power of suggestion is very strong and could help you.

What do you have to lose,other than a life of loneliness.

[edit on 5-5-2010 by Oneolddude]

reply to post by unworldly


LOL LOL LOL..unworldly. Dont be so hard on yourself.

I dont care for most of the world out here and try to steer away from crowds whenever I can. I am not interested in such and dont care who knows or likes it.

I would not however term myself as a misanthrope.

I just dont care for most two legged wildlife...male or female. I find most of it out her to be taxing.

I do not however think myself better than others. I am just unsociable with most groups and peoples. I prefer it that way. It keeps things simple.
I believe very much in the KISS principle. Keep It Simple Stupid!!

You will eventually ..and as some on this thread aptly posted..find others out here who think the same or similar to what you describe.

Do not spend alot of time in angst over this type of thing. Just try to learn new and interesting/useful things on your journey through this world.
Even when you find similar peoples to you ..the learning does not stop.

Chin up unworldly.
Teach yourself the skills and thinking/disciplines to go the distance.

Orangetom

Originally posted by Oneolddude
Go see a good hypnotist.

Honestly tell them what your situation is and see if they can help you.

The power of suggestion is very strong and could help you.

What do you have to lose,other than a life of loneliness.

[edit on 5-5-2010 by Oneolddude]

Is that suggestion inspired by personal experience and if so, could you elaborate? I don't think anyone's ever given me that particular advice before.

reply to post by unworldly



Dogs are nice.
People love people that love dogs.
Dogs love you!

reply to post by unworldly


How can you find someone like you describe? Look for someone completely lacking empathy.

That's all I got.

reply to post by unworldly
I have not been able to discern your gender from your post, knowing would help me to give you more useful advice. If you dont want to publish your sex u2u me if you are comfortable doing so. If I had to guess I would say your a guy but I would prefer to be sure

People are like wine. Most of them should be poured out and are only suitable for those without taste, and they age badly.
Others are capable of fine things if stuck someplace dark, damp, and out of the way for several years.

Originally posted by unworldly
I absolutely loathe human beings, yes I know that is horrible but there just seems to be no limit to human stupidity and ignorance and I just honestly cannot stand people.

And yet here you are, asking ATS members for help It seems to me that your opinion of other people isn't quite as low as you think it is.

I'm a bit of a misanthrope, looking at people in general, but I'm rarely misanthropic when I'm dealing with individual human beings - if you see what I mean.

If you really loathe people it's hardly surprising if they pick up on that and can't find a way to be close to you, even those who might be prepared to give you a chance.

Did you ever hear that expression 'A smile works wonders' ? That's easy to dismiss when you're a miserable people-hating so-and-so, isn't it? And yet it can help.

If you're shy and socially awkward, try to bear in mind that your awkwardness makes other people feel uncomfortable. They maybe can't work out what is is about them, personally, that makes you find them difficult to deal with.

Just try to relax your manner a little and smile when you approach people. Of course, some of them will look at you as if they think you're mad, but that's their problem. Other people, besides you, have difficulties in their lives and may not feel like smiling that day. But many more will be relieved to deal with a courteous, approachable person in an increasingly hostile world.

Do you want to know who really taught me that lesson? My ex-employer's dog The workplace could be extremely stressful and yet the dog would trot into the office, tail wagging, smiling, expecting us to be pleased to see her. And I always was pleased and would stop what I was doing to give her a cuddle. OK, I certainly don't want anyone cuddling me because I smiled at them, but you see what I'm getting at..... I hope

I'm not asking you not to be you. I'm suggesting that you see yourself as a work in progress. Have a look and see what it is about you that gets you want you want in life and work with that. Have a look at what it is about you that prevents you from getting what you want in life and target that as 'in need of improvement'. You are a lifetime's work and there's no harm in polishing yourself up a bit. Not only are those around you more likely to appreciate you, but you'll find yourself a little bit easier to live with too.

OP, have you ever been to a psychiatrist? After a lifetime of not obtaining relationships with non family, nor holding jobs, a psychiatrist diagnosed me with SPD, schizoid personality disorder. Most but -not- all, of the listed criteria in the DSM fit me very well. The diagnosis sounds scary, (schizoid, when I first heard that, it sounded psycho) but it's just people who are so people avoidant, that they are not in the 'norm' of the population. But I also am an Autism specrum, high functioning Asperger, so I avoid eye contact.
Since seeing a medical professional, everything about my life that did not make sense and make me self condemnatory, now makes sense and makes me ease up on myself.