It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Thank you.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
Originally posted by alysha.angel
Id like to know a few things regarding men ....
When a man says its over , meaning the relationship and seems no longer interested in a woman he has claimed was his Soul mate for years then with in 18 months after the break up starting dating again . is that relationship in fact really over ?
one though think that it would take him longer to get over said woman .
Originally posted by AccessDenied
Originally posted by alysha.angel
Id like to know a few things regarding men ....
When a man says its over , meaning the relationship and seems no longer interested in a woman he has claimed was his Soul mate for years then with in 18 months after the break up starting dating again . is that relationship in fact really over ?
one though think that it would take him longer to get over said woman .
When a man says it's over, chances are it was over long before the words were spoken.Something changed in his feelings, and when it was finally verbalized than it was a done deal.
Sad as it is, sometimes those who you think you are perfect with in the beginning, grow distant and apart, especially if you are a young couple.
Of course, there are some men and women out there that just prefer to play around.
IMHO..beginning to date again 18 months after the break-up of a serious relationship is probably a good average. Some try sooner, others longer.
It seems to me though, that 18 months later, you are not over this relationship, and perhaps even wondering what went wrong, or can it be fixed.
If he has moved on in life, you should as well. Happiness may be just around the corner...but not if you are chained to the past.
Originally posted by AccessDenied
When a man says it's over, chances are it was over long before the words were spoken.Something changed in his feelings, and when it was finally verbalized than it was a done deal.
4 years later ,,, theres a reason why im hanging on ....
well me and this ex look a lot like to the point of people asking us if we were related ..
two about a year after we met i was standing in my kitchen and ( the relationship was long distance ) and i literaly saw him there right in front of me like he was there , when at the time he was in the uk. .
3 we both had dreams about each other years prior to meeting in real life .
4 this new relationship of his is on his part a shame im sure . she controls his every move so to speak. not to forgot how fat she is .
and 5 the break up was a shock to the both of us .
or maybe im over him but fear getting rejected again .
Originally posted by alysha.angel
reply to post by AccessDenied
i tired that , and was rejected again and again . by different guys for different reasons which has finaly lead me to believe that im destined to remain single , and besides that iv also gotten to the point of avoiding men entirely . i just dont care anymore .
best to admire from afar then be shattered again . and again .
as for the ex , thats point to end sooner or later because he fears total commitment , ( we broke up less then 3 weeks after i asked him to marry me ) the week before the we where talking about having kids together . and the fact that i wanted him to move to norway to be with me. ect ...
Originally posted by AccessDenied
Originally posted by alysha.angel
reply to post by AccessDenied
i tired that , and was rejected again and again . by different guys for different reasons which has finaly lead me to believe that im destined to remain single , and besides that iv also gotten to the point of avoiding men entirely . i just dont care anymore .
best to admire from afar then be shattered again . and again .
as for the ex , thats point to end sooner or later because he fears total commitment , ( we broke up less then 3 weeks after i asked him to marry me ) the week before the we where talking about having kids together . and the fact that i wanted him to move to norway to be with me. ect ...
You speak as if being single is a bad thing.Not so.
It also sounds like perhaps your other attempts at relationships might have failed because you have not dealt with the issues about this other person.
Time for a bit of soul searching hon..cleaning out of your mental closets, empty the baggage..and start fresh.
And sometimes, love finds you when you aren't even looking.
Originally posted by chissler
We restrict ourselves in so many ways with the way in which we approach discussions on this topic. Issues in any relationship knows no boundaries. Men and women alike are susceptible to the same problems. So when we say "men this..." and "women that..." we're only fueling any possible divide. Speak to the issue with what we're actually talking about, people! We're not talking about a man or a woman, we're talking about a person.
We're all in relationships and they all look different. Yet whether it is two men, two women or a man and a woman... we all deal with the same problems.
With that said, I think for either individual in the relationship that after 18 months of "dealing", it is a healthy time to move forward.
It is a preconceived notion that women are the clingy one in the relationship and more likely to be the one hanging on after the break-up. But men can be just as clingy and be the one that are refusing to let go of a broken relationship. But whatever the sex, after 18 months.. it is time for reality to set in.
A healthy relationship, in my opinion, needs four things.
Sharing a common interest in general things. You don't need to love the same music or the same television shows. But it is important for the foundation of any relationship that you share a common interest in the general things for your relationship. And if you can't share that interest, at least be able to accept it within your spouse.
Communication! If you don't have this, move along.
Trust! If you don't have this, move along! (If you want the secret to this part, see the item listed above!)
And finally, in my opinion, if you can answer yes to the following two questions.. then you're heading in the right direction.
Would you rather fight with your spouse rather than lie to them?
Is your worst day with your spouse better than most of your good days without them?
Speaking honestly, I would rather fight and argue with my fiance than lie to her. I'll tell her the truth even knowing that the outcome is her going to be upset and deal with the consequences rather than lie and keep something from her. Some may say that this approach is only going to hurt the relationship but after six years together I have found that this has only kept us getting stronger and stronger.
Originally posted by Matthew Dark
reply to post by alysha.angel
I don't know, punkin.
I've been on both sides of that argument and it still confounds me.
People are people, I guess.
Some people, you just never get over.
Originally posted by alysha.angel
When a man says its over , meaning the relationship and seems no longer interested in a woman he has claimed was his Soul mate for years then with in 18 months after the break up starting dating again . is that relationship in fact really over ?