posted on Apr, 24 2010 @ 02:57 PM
I feel uncomfortable about any expectations others have of me! but then I think, do they have those expectations? or is it me placing those
thoughts/expectaions in my own mind?
I think it's a bit of both! and I think in your situation, you have this whole picture in your head of how ladies are and what they expect, when it
really is only your narrow misguided view! it's really not like you paint it to be! and numerous people have said this to you on threads, but you
keep coming back with the same narrow view, like you haven't listened to a word of what has been said! please read the replies and listen to what's
All women are different! you can't tarr them all with the same brush! ok I have known girls who like to be with what most would see as an aggressive
person, why do they do it you ask? I have no idea! maybe they see a challenge? maybe they want to be dominated? maybe they are scared of the
intimacy/love and equal roles of most relationships? are scared of letting someone in? there could be reason after reason! but you don't want that
kind of lady, so don't look for her, why even give her a thought?
I've known women who are the polar opposite! love to wear the trousers. be the dominant one in the relationship, my older sister is a shining example
of this type of person! she wouldn't have it any other way.
I myself am about as aggressive as a feather! i'm sensitive, not into most guy things, and about as macho as a frail old lady! I never had trouble
finding women who like the type of person I am! I rarely approached a female first! and let me tell you, I ain't the best looking of blokes!!! but
because I wasn't bothered back then, that wasn't a worry for me! and I think looking back, those women could see I was pretty comfortable in my own
skin! don't underestimate the vibe you give off!
the only problem I had, was never letting myself get close enough to actually begin a proper relationship! they scared me! so I just had fun! you
sound like you want the same.
I think you need to really have a look at where those views of yours stem from! and actually start talking to different women without a pre judgement!
only then will you actually be able to see all the difference in people out there, you need to place yourself in those environments/situations you're
scared of and be yourself! don't think that you have to put on an act, get comfortable and you will see the world of females is not as straight cut
and one sided as you currently think.
You say you find it hard to even compliment a girl, well that's just you! not everyone likes to give compliments freely, and who says you have to?
they roll of my tongue with ease, but that's just who I am and I feel comfortable that way! everyone is different, and you seem to be putting so much
unnecessary pressure on yourself about the smallest of things! just relax, and stop putting that pressure on yourself! it serves no good purpose.
Who says you have to go to bars and clubs to meet women? those are not the only places women are found! there's plenty of places, library, coffee
shop, at the store, the internet, gym.....it's endless! just start talking to someone, talk to someone on this site, you don't have to be looking to
hook up, just get to know the opposite sex a little more, and learn to be more comfortable around them! why not right? you have nothing to lose!
I don't know what else to say to you that hasn't been said elsewhere? I'm certainly not the best at giving advice! but things aren't gonna change
unless you take a step forward and start experiencing the things you're afraid of and have seemingly allready made your judgements on unfairly, and
without any real experience!
Ok that's me done! just put yourself out there! I really wish you all the best and sincerely hope you evaluate your views soon, and that somebody can
help you see things differently!
Good luck to you!
[edit on 24-4-2010 by valiant]
[edit on 24-4-2010 by valiant]