posted on Apr, 22 2010 @ 06:40 AM
My whole life I've always been the guy everyone comes to for advice. It's actually pretty crazy, I'll meet someone at a party for example, know
them for 5 minutes and they will be telling me their deepest secrets. Something about me just allows people to know they can trust me. So, obviously
if random strangers can come up and talk/open up to me, then my friends always did/do as well.
Well, for years I struggled with major depression, partly because I was being given the wrong medications which made me worse, but I figured out that
I needed a different kind of medication and I've been doing better since. But the other major piece of this puzzle is my selflessness.
I allow my empathetic qualities towards others get too me - I've gotten better with it but it's still not easy. I'm surrounded by people in my
life who constantly need help, although I need help myself sometimes and I have no problem admitting that.
Thing is, I allow other peoples problems to become my own, and because of this I get overwhelmed and push my emotions/issues aside and to the back of
my mind, while focusing on the other peoples issues. I do give great advice, unfortunately I don't take my own good advice, if I had done so I
wouldn't be were I am today.
So like I said I have gotten better with pushing everyone else's issues aside and focusing on myself - my inner self. I've become spiritual and I
love it. But I still have trouble sometimes controlling where my mind is. I want to be selfish (I know that sounds bad but in my situation it's
something that needs to be done), I want to care more about ME than everyone else.
Has anyone else dealt with this sort of thing?
I mean I do get a sense of happiness from helping others, don't get me wrong, in fact I feel as if my life will be devoted to helping other people in
one way or another. But until I get my life straightened out I have to stop allowing other peoples issues in and focus on ME.