Why do we "Hate" Those With Whom We Disagree?

reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas

But, it is often Government playing us against each other, or the ignorance of racism which makes us vulnerable to our own weaknesses of character.

Wrong

It's us who put the blame on everyone and everything else whilst we sit on our fat asses reading about all the problems in the world.

reply to post by marg6043

Originally posted by Stormdancer777
The first thing that popped into my head was respect, they lose respect for one another,

Hi. Interestingly, several people with whom I disagree, but still get along are showing up here. You make a good point, too. But I'm not sure why I would lose respect for someone for believing differently.

My very best girlfriend in life was VERY pro-life. We were able to talk about it without losing respect for each other at all. Maybe it's a matter of HOW we talked about it and how we showed respect for each other in the discussion that made the difference.

I think maybe the way we discuss things is the all-important difference between maintaining a friendship THROUGH disagreement and losing a friendship BECAUSE of disagreement.

I'm going to have to be much more careful with how I disagree with people, I think. This has bit me in the ass too many times in life.

reply to post by Duzey


i am sorry duzey but i have to disagree here with your belief, a previous friend objectively realized fully a positive living expression reality with you, so in a sense they saw the right perspective of their life with your presence absolutely, now if something you say bother them that much to hate you, it means that they wanted or realize willing you down, because absolutely they know how you are not a threat to them as existing persons or to their lives, so they are meaning pretenses of being more, and they dont allow any expression looking positive superior right

I wish I could remain as civil during a debate as many that I see on this thread.
Because I can't doesn't mean I "hate" an opponent.
Sometimes, people are responding to others in kind, albeit with a sharper tongue.
A truly nasty comment doesn't always mean hatred.
I reserve hatred for the man that kicks my dog.

reply to post by Stormdancer777


Hope so, death is the only thing I look forward to although I wouldn't take my own life.

I must of been placed on the wrong planet or something, I cannot stress how much I hate humanity. I try my best though and offer help to people, in many cases I give plenty of something I cannot have "Happiness" to somebody else. I really do try offer help, love, peace..... Although normally it all gets thrown back in my face in the long run, I have tried and tried but everything I touch turns to dust.

Guess I got so used to Negativity I am starting to like that "just to see what happens"



[edit on 18-4-2010 by NotAgain]

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic

Originally posted by SpartanKingLeonidas
Threads like this and our friendship, between you and I, are exactly why I love who you are.

I had you in mind while writing this thread. We disagree on many things, even some "hot-button" issues, yet we remain very close. I wish I had more relationships here like the one I have with you.

You know, I love you BH, but you're not allowed to say things that make me well up with tears.

And when I find myself not allowing my self to see someone else's perspective, I think of you.

And I remember, friends come in all sorts of packages, we just have to know how to handle with care.

Different reasons. Sometimes we hate ourselves for not being aware of something our imagined opponent has brought to our attention because we feel like a fool for sticking to an opinion we may later change our minds about and the person who brought about that change wasn`t some kind loving old teacher but a random stranger on the internet. Other times we hate ourselves for not possesing the rhetoric others do and therefore are not a capable of changing someone elses mind (free will`s a bitch, neh?) so that they agree with us and shower us with praise. Other times we hate ourselves for not being able to put ourselves in someone elses shoes and actually see where they are coming from and why they believe what they do. So in these situations, our frustration with ourselves or just the situation in general (you not getting your way) gets reflected back toward the people we are communicating with. Once you realize this illusion, you will no longer have to behaive in such an infantile manner and you will realize that we all have something to offer to eachother and whether we realize it or not we are all helping eachother grow even though there is the illusion that we are a bunch of screaming babies. And don`t get me wrong, this illusion DOES hinder progress for most individuals, but your subconscious is smarter than that, and it is learning from your so called "enemies" and even pushing you to try to find a way to cooperate or , compromise (god thats a beautiful word...) with your enemies. Unfortunately the high level of emotions also present is controlling a good portion of your "conscious" mind which makes most of your "conscious" decisions, and the subtle messages from your "subconscience" are overwhelmed by impulses of the "right now". ...that one was free for y`all! lol!


Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com

Proverbs 6:16-19

" There are six things the LORD hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers."

It seemed important to add to this to the topic. These are things worthy of contempt.

Originally posted by Skyfloating
Out in normal, mainstream society nobody "hates" someone for being of another opinion BH. Its expected.

This thread moved so fast that I missed your reply the first time. That's why I put hate in quotes. It's not really hatred of a person, I don't think. People here don't know me enough to hate me. I'm mostly talking about here on ATS, really. I just didn't want to use anyone here as an example, so I made up a story.

You only find that type of behaviour with the infantile or emotionally unstable.

I think some of the 'hatred" I've experienced can indeed be attributed to that. But I'm beginning to think a lot of it is the way I come across, as Duzey suggested. People have told me that all my life for a reason. Truth is, though, I can't tell when I'm being "too harsh". I am always running stuff by my husband to get his input of how harsh it comes across before I say it to the post office worker or the waitress or whomever. I think I missed a vital part of my socialization education somewhere along the line.

But it's not just me, though... Is it? I mean, there are people who aren't harsh that experience this "hatred" thing... I guess that's when it's about an opponent's emotional immaturity...

I disagree with some of your politics but I think you're a good singer and an excellent poster.

Thank you! I know I disagree with you, too, but I love reading your posts and have no bad or off feelings about you.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic

My very best girlfriend in life was VERY pro-life. We were able to talk about it without losing respect for each other at all.

I have never lost a friend over a moral issue, since I am no saint,



Momma said never talk religion or politics, and most arguments are over these two subjects.

Originally posted by NotAgain
reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas

 

But, it is often Government playing us against each other, or the ignorance of racism which makes us vulnerable to our own weaknesses of character.

Wrong

It's us who put the blame on everyone and everything else whilst we sit on our fat asses reading about all the problems in the world.

I have to say I agree with BH, and not you, and as well, I agree with a few other people who disagree with you.

And you might be sitting on your plump posterior, complaining, whining, and bitching about others, but I am not, nor is BH, nor are any of the other people on this site, at least not the ones I respect.

That is because while you might have a negative aura, I do not, and while I certainly know the Art of War, I prefer peace, and have turned it into the Art of Peace, and through peaceable discourse of discussion, I can find a way to agree, disagree, and or agree to disagree, instead of taking the rather disagreeable stance you are.

And many people, many, know that Government does exactly like I mentioned, and actions, behaviors like yours, are exactly what they count on as being a fulcrum for causing division amongst people.

I am of course speaking to the behavior, as an example, not as an attack against your character, I have many threads speaking of the behavior of Government, and I can prove that historically, but this thread is about hating people for no other reason than blind ignorance.

And I do not hate you, I do not know you, but so far I give you credence as a human being and ATS member.

If you do not agree with any of that, great, if you do agree with it, great, i could care less.

The ignorance's of racism, the ignorance's of division, are just that, ignorance's.

Deny Ignorance.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic

I'm going to have to be much more careful with how I disagree with people, I think. This has bit me in the ass too many times in life.

We are just human, one lesson I learned was the lessons I try to teach others are the ones I need most to understand myself.

reply to post by doctor j and inmate c5779


Yea it's much easier to just say "We are all assholes" saves on the long description, and when we finally agree on what it is we had a disagreement on we can just say "Hey what did you expect from an asshole"

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


I'm probably such an unbearable ass that I don't notice, but when are you harsh? I read your posts constantly and I've never seen you less civil than fellow posters.

Great topic BH!!!

I wonder the same thing myself. Friday night my wife and I had dinner with some friends we have not seen in a few months. One of them started going on negatively about Obama and Democrats. When he stepped off his soap box, I politely changed the subject. At which point he asked my if I was an Obama supporter (putting it politely). I politely told him that I don't mix friendship and politics, as it is the "great destroyer of friends". I think he got the point and moved on.

Gladly, we are still friends...no reason why we shouldn't be. And I feel like I took the higher road by not reciprocating a tirade towards the conservative community.

Now, I will place a disclaimer ***That is my personal life. I will argue politics here on ATS*** BUT I don't hate anyone on here, no matter how repulsive their comments may seem. I may dislike, but hate is a strong emotion, one which I make efforts to resist.

and also who hates you directly from his expressions while you didnt do that and clearly meant a general topic and not the self person one

is who hates freely so there is no way you should look at hate reason within yourself as objective source of it
it came out from himself as alone initiation decision invention to become an expression clearly meaning yourself death

a negative thought cannot be a source of hatred act, you must know another truth principles

free living expression is always of superior free living reality objectively, in truth it is always the principle of the source being more that justify the present move being less
when you obviously are not representing an objective reality of more you cant have the quality of a source to something moves

that is how also usually a living subject dont use himself to justify his life but mean to justify objective life, it is always the relation between biggest and smallest that allow a justification of truth

any initiation of something new must be refered to the maximum existence of that mean to be real
and any mean of prooving or justifying its positive superior sense must refer to the minimum existence of that right being living

that is why in meaning higher you say lowest, it doesnt mean you love lowest but you are meaning something positive subjectively to you alone that you are seeking to justify its life through the least presence existence reality relation to

that is how truth is crucial to be the sense of being and living, to understand the whole positive result by being free outside of it and then in moving do it directly to your means and not by indirect ways

reply to post by imans


I'm fairly confident no one will attempt to disagree with any of that.

There`s an excellent book that I keep recommending to members here. I read it like 10 years ago back when I was one of those people who was "always right". It can help tremendously with almost any conversation you will have for the rest of your life. It`s called How to Argue and Win Every Time by Gerry Spence. He`s a native american attorney with a pretty amazing trial record. And in case your wondering, no my last post wasnt an excerpt from the book nor did it have anything to do with the book really. That was all "freestyle" off the top of my head although my thinking has obviously been affected by reading this book as well as all other books and everything else I have experienced in life. I gave the book away 10 yrs ago after reading about half of it, that`s all it took for me to get the message. One of the basic things it teaches is that it`s not helpful to look at an arguement as a conflict where the goal is to defeat your opponent but it should be looked at as a mutual learning experience. And trust me, it is way easier to get someone to see your side of things when you aren`t all angry flinging insults back and forth. And if someone insults you first, you should be mature enough to handle it without bringing yourself down to their level, instead, bring them up to yours. Do this by showing them an example, they may be shocked when they find out that, after they`ve insulted you, not only are you not offended but you understand why they would say such a thing since you were once like that, too, and you would still like to become friends, that maybe you have won them over to at least considering your idea. After all, if you are friends then the lines of communication are still open, nobody`s called the other person a poopy-head and nobody pushed the "ignore" button. Deny ignore bottons, they are purveyers(sp) of ignorance!!


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Originally posted by Stormdancer777
We are just human, one lesson I learned was the lessons I try to teach others are the ones I need most to understand myself.

Boy, isn't that the truth! I didn't start this thread to teach anything, more to explore why OTHER people act the way they do. And here I am, learning something about myself.

Originally posted by 23refugee
I read your posts constantly and I've never seen you less civil than fellow posters.

Well, thanks. Like I said, I don't always know if I'm being harsh or not. I've embarrassed my husband in public because I'm VERY frank with people. The truth is, I try to be civil here, most of the time at least, but I don't always know for sure how I'm coming across. And truthfully, I know sometimes I can be a jerk.

And it's not about being more or less civil than the others in the thread. The goal (for me) is to be civil all the time, even with those who are not. I don't want others' behavior to determine mine. I want to determine my own behavior regardless how others are acting.

Originally posted by Aggie Man
***That is my personal life. I will argue politics here on ATS***

Another important point. It's a lot easier to debate politics (and everything) here than in real life. And I love to do it, too! And sometimes people aren't going to like what I say. And there are those who will probably hate me regardless of how hard I try not to be harsh, but that's just part of the deal. I can live with it.