The Geek’s Guide To Getting Girls

What I dont particularly like is that women will usually never approach a guy. I'm not saying that I wouldn't but when they always expect the man to do everything, it puts me in the position of being the agressor and her being the submissive, which I don't particularly agree with. If things were more equal then I wouldn't mind being so much the agressor, but they always want to stick with being fragile victims... yet in bed they want to be treated like a whore and take it rough,because they like that.. and then go and criticize nice guys.

At the same time they also act cold, and extremely reserved such that one has to be literally captivate her attention in an extreme way just to get her to just glance at you. You can be standing in front of her and she would have all the reason to just lok at you, but she would look past me as if I was non-existent.

And so what if I'm different. So what, just because I've never had a girlfriend is the one reason I can't even get one. So how is a guy who's never had girlfriends supposed to get one in the first place, if all girls avoid you? It's just like high school. NO one wants to be friends with a loner, even if he tried to mingle. One can see the difference between a person who is simply alone yet has social status, and one who is alone and has no social status, and why does he have no social status? Because he began that way.

[edit on 18-4-2010 by The Quiet Storm]

Originally posted by bsbray11

Originally posted by The Quiet Storm
actually how is a guy supposed to just muster up the confidence to talk to a girl he has pretty much no business talking to out of the blue when they make themselves out to be very unapproachable?

They ARE approachable. You just have to approach them confidently and be sure of yourself so it'll be possible for them to be confident in you too. If you're not confident in yourself they'll never be confident in you. Once you have confidence then the other things people said here are all good pointers depending on what she's like.

Look at Gene Simmons. He's ugly as hell, and old, but even if he wasn't a member of KISS, and he had that attitude, he would still be able to pick women up like nothing, just because of his attitude. He even makes women forget that he's old and ugly and he's damned good at it, and you gotta respect him for that. There are lots of examples of this, attitude and personality overcoming any flaws you might think you have.

Why do you think so many girls go out with guys who don't really care about them and abuse them, like the poster above was talking about? Because that guy also has a confident attitude in himself first and foremost.

but why can't they just like you for who you are instead of some simple display of confidence? That's what monkeys do, they go around giving fronts of grandiose displays to get a emale's attention.

A woman usually can have any number of faults but she will always get some guy who likes her. If a male so much as has one imperfection like he's not confident in himself, even if the ONLY reason he's not conifeent is that he's not really conifdent in finding a girl but is confident in all other aspects of life, he''s no longer a man, in fact no longer even human, and worth living, except for dyring off in a sick world of violent selection.

And this is the very same reason women will go out with cruel men, and keep breeding cruel and materialistic unspiritual men, who will lead us into darkness. Men have needs to, if a man has all the confidence in the world that he can do anything but get a girl to like him, that severely cripples him in a most extreme way. HE can be good at anything but if he can't even so much as communicate successfully with the opposite sex, he's not even ALIVE and has no place in society.

[edit on 18-4-2010 by The Quiet Storm]

Originally posted by Helig
Perhaps the best advice on "getting girls" I have ever seen on the internet, and it actually goes contrary to this humorous and interesting article:

Stop dating. Stop even thinking about dating. Here's your new mission, should you choose to accept it: for the next ten weeks, ignore women. What they think of you no longer matters. How they feel no longer matters. They themselves no longer matter.
Instead, focus entirely on you. Do what makes you happy. Learn to be happy without other people. Accept that you don't need other people.
Because you don't. And once you've hardened your heart and made a fulfilling life for yourself, by yourself, women will start to notice that you are a strong, independent, happy man. And they will fall over themselves in their need to enslave you through sex.

I really don't know how that is possible. I think that is inhuman, everyone needs simple human contact. What are you going to do, just be around guys all the time? Makes me feel uncomfrotable. What are you going to do then, live in a cave?

What are you going to do, genetically engineer youself to be able to withstand the crippling consequences of isolating youself from human beings. Not only that, living in society necessitates that you be social. As a social being. Not anti-social. But seriously, can one really live unhindered if he was to live alone , and I mean TOTALLY alone his entire life? I don't think so. It's biological. It's sociological. And society is biological.

Blah.

I hate this.

Screw it ALL>

I read a lot of complaints on here (not just this thread) from 'nice guys' who think that women would rather have a 'badass'.

It occurs to me that 'nice guys' are fixated with this type of woman. I wonder why that would be?

There are many millions of happy, settled women in this world who work hard at their relationships with perfectly normal, decent men - or would be happy to, given the chance. Why don't 'nice guys' notice them?

I've got a theory about that, but finding the answer for yourselves would involve a lot of self-examination. Which might be a better use of a person's energies than indulging in self-pity and berating women for their perversity.

And to echo what Whaa said (he beat me to it) - get a dog. You can hardly go anywhere with a dog without making friends. Just be prepared to look after him, though.

I knew someone would say that. It's not just this girl, it's every single one of them. It doesn't matter the number of "flaws" she has. Every girl is the same way. I'm not ugly, I'm just lacking a little motivation from life because I'm so alone. And I am not too confident in getting women, I do kung fu (well I just started) but everything else I'd say I'm ok. It's really only this that cripple my entire self esteem in all that I do because I base it on this, and it really IS abnormal for me to be this way. Biologically it feels like every one of my cells want to commit suicide or burst. I feel a tremendous urge many times to just die because of this. Never had a girl so much as show any sort of minute interest in me because they are focused on superficial qualities or bad boys.

You should see how the gangsters over here in America have the prettiest looking 'good girl' types. There are many imperfect men here that get women too but it's either because they are superficial in some way or act 'bad' in some way.

Bad is the new good. I'm not christian but it said this will happen in the bible. It goes not just for women but all of society.

And I'm not talking about trivial stuff like "good is only a matter of opinion" type stuff. There is true ethics, there is also right and wrong way to do things, or else you could either die or make a dire mistake.

[edit on 18-4-2010 by The Quiet Storm]

reply to post by The Quiet Storm


Please don't think my post was aimed specifically at you.

Tell me, do you have many friends or close family? I think you need to talk to someone about the way you feel.

I can identify with a lot of it - I've spent probably too much time alone. It can make you a bit - well, in my case - eccentric.

They're a hard thing to acquire, but social graces can help a lot in most situations. I used to be very shy, but I do a pretty good job of hiding it now because I realised that my shyness and discomfort made other people feel uncomfortable.

A smile, a friendly word, concern for the welfare of others can get you by.

I learned a lesson from a friend's dog. I'm serious. Every time that dog walked into the room she'd have a big smile on her face, tail wagging like crazy and a general air of being pleased to be in your company. And the expectation that you'd be pleased to see her. Which, most times, we were.

Try and find some positive things about yourself and concentrate on 'telegraphing' them - sorry the right word won't come to me. "Emanate' isn't right either but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Got it - 'radiate' your good qualities

[edit on 18-4-2010 by berenike]

What are you going to do, genetically engineer youself to be able to withstand the crippling consequences of isolating youself from human beings.

I get your point and that is basically what I did for a good five years of my life. I swear to god, that from age 17 until 22, ( When I got into trouble ) I spent every single day of my life isolated in my bedroom. I could hardly have a conversation with my father and whenever we did have a convo I normally used about 3 words in the English language which were " Yeah. Uh Huh . Oh, really? " That's really about it... Maybe a couple more here and there but yeah, hopefully you get my point. I was absolutely miserable and all I ever did was think about suicide and what a dream come true death would be. I had absolutely no friends and I dreaded being forced to go out in public. I really had an issue when I would see someone look at me. My first thought would be " wtf is he looking at ? " Then, If I caught him look at me again, it went from that to " omfg I'm gonna slit this guys throat. " -- Hope that's okay to admit that on this forum -- just trying to let ppl know they are not alone in this beast of a world.

When I was age 19 I found a social forum dealing with Social Anxiety Disorder which was definitely what I had. My avatar quote was " hell on earth " - that's exactly how I felt every single day of my life. It was nothing but misery. You may look at me and think " oh, this couldn't be true " but looks can be deceiving. And never judge a book by its cover. You don't know a persons inner struggle just because they may look so normal on the outside. I went through absolute hell in my life and as embarrassing as it may be to admit this -- I am age 25 and I started losing my hair at age 23 from all the hell and stress that I have been through. It is not genetic either; my dad is 52 year old and has better hair than me.

And what i've just said is hardly breaking the tip of the iceburg. I used to have so much hate and rage flowing through my veins on a daily basis. I truly wanted to show society how much I hated them and despised them for all the hell they had put me through. I was very poor back then too and would think about snatching purses ect or robbing places because I absolutely dreaded the thought of having to get a job and be out in public. I felt like a walking freak-show. Thank god I never acted out any of those fantasies cause if I would have been caught I may be in prison for life right now. It is not easy to admit this -- even on the net but whatever.

I am trying to give you guys some hope, man. Never give up in this life. Regardless of the pain and and emptiness you may feel. You've gotta think about how this would effect your family ect. I don't know how I managed to hang on for so long but I did it and now my life is so much different it's not even funny. I absolutely love life and people and am glad that I am over my past and have a bright future ahead of me! Anyway, that's all I'm gonna say for now. Just hang on man...

xoxo

~Holds right hand out palm out,taps left index finder to palm of right hand repeatedly~ says, "I'm stupid and I don't know till I get paid"



[edit on 18-4-2010 by The Utopian Penguin]

~Holds right hand out palm out,taps left index finder to palm of right hand repeatedly~ says, "I'm stupid and I don't know till I get paid"

...

How was that statement pertinent to this conversation? Obviously you're just a Hater. A song from YoungBloodz reminds me of my life @ its current state " Something Like A Pimp " ~ Ho0k ~ " Sock It 2 My Pocket Cuz I'm Somethin Like A PiMp " What You Know About Dat? roflmfao.

oOoOoOoOo Hey Hater - Go read my media blog titled " Mount Coincidence " Then go grab a knife and a fork and proceed to carve your Heart out and Eat it.

media.abovetopsecret.com...&action=view&id=460

It's quite simple really - Page Hopkins is Teh Oracle! Z0MFG!!1!!!

A definition of Oracle: any person or thing serving as an agency of divine communication.

o_O

la la la la...

Another one of my Favorite rap songs " Hi Hater " by Maino ~

A few quotes from the song (Clean Version for the forum) - " What it B Dawg? We gettin Money here; wanna snitch man, get us a 100 years ? That's sad dawg; why you mad for ? Is it the face on my girl or her booty dawg ? Why you like that? That ain't right black! We Bo$$eD out in the club, you don't like that? You know you like dat, you wanna be me! Why you twistin up your face when you see me ? "


Quote 2 " Where the haterz at? All the hatin cats! Here look in the Mirror dawg hate on dat! Can't F with me or keep up with me so you RUN and tell a girl not to F with me! Cause we Ballin' Yall Callin' It's Aiiiggghht Muhh F@#$!% Keep Talkin' - More Money brings - more Hennessey; more hate, more $nakes, more Enemies! Can't change this, dawgz ain't chit! While i'm out pop more champagne punk! Still G'z Up, they won't ease up, it's cool punkz hated on Jesus! Can't tell em' nothin, haterz say i'm stuntin' - When They Hate On You Then You Know You're Doing Somethin! "

xoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxo

yea I'm sorry all. my posts seem harsh, I really don't mean to generalize.

I'm also a very different kind of person interested in very different things some would consider abnormal, and before I got into these things I was also began a loner for various reasons that I never got to develop as a 'normal' person would before it got too late, then I made little progress as I got really into self improvement and then went off the deep end a little.

I'm still doing my best.

[edit on 18-4-2010 by The Quiet Storm]

Originally posted by The Quiet Storm
but why can't they just like you for who you are instead of some simple display of confidence? That's what monkeys do, they go around giving fronts of grandiose displays to get a emale's attention.

Yeah, pretty much, it is animalistic, and deeply rooted in biology and culture too if you want to take it that far.

I'm on your side man, but then you're just waiting for essentially the perfect woman for you, to approach you and do all the work for you. That would be perfect, wouldn't it?

I don't know if I'll ever meet "the one" or a "soul mate" or "perfect" match, but in the mean time I'm not afraid to try to make things work with other people I click with. And that usually means doing the initiating and talking and all of that. Honestly I think you'd have to put a lot of work into the relationship even IF you found a "soul mate," but maybe I'm just being pessimistic.

Originally posted by The Quiet Storm
At the same time they also act cold, and extremely reserved such that one has to be literally captivate her attention in an extreme way just to get her to just glance at you. You can be standing in front of her and she would have all the reason to just lok at you, but she would look past me as if I was non-existent.

Have you ever been sprayed with mace? Just wondering.

Originally posted by berenike
reply to post by The Quiet Storm

 

Please don't think my post was aimed specifically at you.

Tell me, do you have many friends or close family? I think you need to talk to someone about the way you feel.

I can identify with a lot of it - I've spent probably too much time alone. It can make you a bit - well, in my case - eccentric.

They're a hard thing to acquire, but social graces can help a lot in most situations. I used to be very shy, but I do a pretty good job of hiding it now because I realised that my shyness and discomfort made other people feel uncomfortable.

A smile, a friendly word, concern for the welfare of others can get you by.

I learned a lesson from a friend's dog. I'm serious. Every time that dog walked into the room she'd have a big smile on her face, tail wagging like crazy and a general air of being pleased to be in your company. And the expectation that you'd be pleased to see her. Which, most times, we were.

Try and find some positive things about yourself and concentrate on 'telegraphing' them - sorry the right word won't come to me. "Emanate' isn't right either but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Got it - 'radiate' your good qualities

[edit on 18-4-2010 by berenike]

The man speaks sense!!!

Thing is, not all girls atleast in my experience like a ''bad ass'' as you guys call it! as above, maybe you are looking at the wrong type of girl??? how can there be good and bad guys and then we only put girls into one basket? that's not right! they are not the same despite what you may think, so start looking for the other girls you don't even seem to know exist!

I can relate TQS, believe me, I have been lonely for so long now( 6 years) that i've been through every emotion i'm capable of experiencing! and i'm only young too! 24 to be exact, and it ain't easy on a young mind I know! sometimes you feel hopeless and like all the life has been sucked out of you! your never gonna meet anyone or are incapable of meeting anyone, but constantly thinking on it makes it worse, you get even more down! I just don't think on it now, atleast not to the extent of it bothering me so much!

I don't know what to say, there is no ''idiots guide to meeting women'' they will come along when they do, and when that happens be nobody else except YOU! and that's all you can do imo! if they like you GREAT! if not, it's not your fault! just move swiftly on!

Just my opinion anyways!

(EDIT)

To add, there is some bloody good advice in this thread, I think there is plenty enough here to get you thinking!



[edit on 19-4-2010 by valiant]

Originally posted by ancientfuturist
Confidence is very important.


Don't call on Friday or Saturday.

This is tantamount.

I've approached some girls myself, don't get me wrong. It's just never ended up any good.

But anyways...

If it weren't for the whole "friend zone" thing women love to manipulate guys with, I would probably feel fine making friends with women. But most people know that women don't have sex with friends, and the ones that say they do are more than just friends.

I would actually feel ok with becoming friends because that meant that I didn't have to be Aggressive. But the way things have been shaped is that 1. guys have to be Aggressors/be aggressive, and that 2. women are Submissive/Pacifists.

Women take it, men give it.

Isn't that insane?

It can't just be more like equal, it's always that way. It can't be assertive, it can't be equal, it's always that guys are Aggressors.

So it feels like I'm doing the woman wrong by simply talking to her because my only intention is that I want to see if I can give it to her RAW (or something like that), rather than for common interests like a normal bond is made like with friends. And if you don't come off as aggressive from the start, you are in the DREADED "FRIENDZONE" of which there is no escape because from then on she has categorized you as a shemale. And I'm not promiscuous either so... nor would I just fuk around when I'm single and "stay happy and single" like that just to have as much sex as possible because sex is no joke to me.

Sex in America is associated with taboo, such that also, sex is always associated with negativity. Anything good is associated with being bad, and anything bad is good. Therefore, to be sexy is "naughty", and "bad".

I feel very uncomfortable being aggressive about sex, since for one we can end up in Jail, for what she calls sexual harassment or coercion or whatever. But then another guy does something ten times worse and it's sweet and romantic, etc.

Sex is not supposed to be "bad". But nowadays it is...

and no I've never been sprayed with mace...

[edit on 19-4-2010 by The Quiet Storm]

wow. just crazy.

this whole topic makes me literally insane.

To think that a majority of the problems on this earth, the violence, the cruelty, etc. ALL ROOTED IN SEX AND LUST.

If there was no such thing as sex, and we were all asexual do you think we'd have as much problems as we do here? I don't think so. Men are always trying to compete with each other for replication purposes, which translates to wars, and the women get off on this.

Maybe it's just because TPTB have hidden from us the true nature of sacred sex because they knew the power it had over the human mind?

[edit on 19-4-2010 by The Quiet Storm]

Originally posted by The Quiet Storm
I've approached some girls myself, don't get me wrong. It's just never ended up any good.

But anyways...

If it weren't for the whole "friend zone" thing women love to manipulate guys with, I would probably feel fine making friends with women. But most people know that women don't have sex with friends, and the ones that say they do are more than just friends.

I would actually feel ok with becoming friends because that meant that I didn't have to be Agressive. But the way things have been shaped is that 1. guys are Aggressors, and that women are Submissive/Pacifists when it comes to sex....

Isn't that insane?

Guys do not have to be the aggressors all the time! atleast in my experience....I have been the one approached many times and let me tell you, never initiated a thing but did plenty! or maybe the girls are different here in England? no idea!

The friends thing is good! i've been with a friend before and it was sweet, no problems afterwards because we knew we never liked each other like that, was just drunk/fun!

well the girls over here like to stare you down and mean mug you. At least it seems that way.

You should see how the minute I enter the room all the girls get all weird and like, nervous and it's not because of attraction. Yea maybe I am nervous too when I walk in but does that mean they have to be all thinking horrible things about me?

[edit on 19-4-2010 by The Quiet Storm]

jaja. close this thread before I keep going. I'm tired. it bothers me to no end.

S'ok mate don't worry! I get what you mean! there are the s'n-word'ing little girls here too! just not all of them.