Mental Disorder?

I hope this is the proper place for this thread. Anyway here goes.

I talk to myself. Okay, you're probably thinking, "Everyone does that." Typical self-conversation is usually one-sided, thinking aloud. My talks are not one sided, and they are not thinking aloud. I seem to be experiencing a rapid progression toward two independent entities in my head. Each one is me, yet not entirely. We talk aloud to one another, and amazingly have very invigorating conversations. Now I have studied schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder, among other psychological disorders, and I experience none of the symptoms of such. Those who suffer from multiple personality disorder are not aware of all the personalities within them. They typically experience periods of "black outs", during which time different personalities emerge and take control of the person's body and mind. When the alternate personality secedes, the original "default" personality may reemerge, with no memory of what happened during that time. I do not experience anything like that. I am fully aware and conscious of the two entities that I engage conversation between. I also am in full control of what each entity says. It's almost like I am reciting lines from a play involving two characters. I do not know why I do this. My voice is different for the two entities. One is a philosophical deep thinker, and "he" has a calm, higher voice. The other claims to be an intelligent scientific thinker, and "he" has a demanding voice that is much deeper. I can not explain why this is happening to me. You might say, "You seem sane enough to just stop doing this," and you would be right. I do not engage these conversations when people are around, because I would certainly be labeled as insane. But the problem is, I actively seek chances to become the two people and carry on good conversations with.

I do not believe I am crazy. Strange things have been happening in my mind lately, though. I am actually diagnosed with dysthymia. It is a mild depressive syndrome that is long term, as opposed to a severe depressive syndrome that may only be very short term. Recently I almost had a nervous breakdown for no reason. I was at a restaurant with my immediate family for my niece's birthday. Out of nowhere I began to feel extremely anxious. I had the strong urge to talk with the two entities I have described, but I had to do so as quietly as possible and with little lip movement. This time, there was no conversation. I was only blabbering silently to myself single words like "can't", or "don't". It took every sane fiber in my body to resist bursting into tears and collapsing. I don't even know why. There was nothing traumatizing happening to me. Nothing to make me feel the way I felt: utterly helpless and afraid. I got over it after several minutes. I don't think anyone but my wife noticed. Everyone else just assumed I wasn't feeling well (I didn't say a single word to anyone the entire time).

I consider myself a fairly practical and slightly intelligent guy. I can usually piece things together and figure out the puzzle. And my puzzle-solver tells me that these two "personalities" within my head and this recent panic-attack are not unrelated. Could I be experiencing early symptoms of a serious mental problem? Someone, please help. I will not appreciate rude comments at all. Thank you all.

Edit to remove "Help" from title.

[edit on 15-4-2010 by OrphenFire]

reply to post by OrphenFire


when you talk with each of these "people", do you already know what is going to be said? If not, where does the conversation originate from? Also, is there ever conversation about things you would know nothing about? Like say you were a florist, but you talked about nuclear physics.

I am just some guy, so I have no means of helping you through this, I am just curious and you sound very sincere.

I see two possibilities.

1. Mental disease

2. Thought injection from the spirit realm.

I don't know you, but if you'd like I can discuss this more in U2U's.

Just observe your thoughts and let them slide away. Realize they are your thoughts, and not you. Mybe even another entity. You are not your thoughts. You have full control over your body. I mean it was given to YOU.

reply to post by network dude


I do not know what is going to be said. For instance:

Person 1: "What are you thinking about?"
Person 2: "Same thing as you, we are the same."
Person 1: "We are not the same. I am completely different from you."
Person 2: "Then why are we a part of the same mind?"
Person 1: "I don't know, but we seem to be seperate."

Everything that "I" say is spontaneous. Not rehearsed, not thought about beforehand. It's a real conversation. The reason I said it was like reciting lines in a play is because it flows so well like a conversation between two different people.

Conversations divulge into various discussions of things that I enjoy talking or thinking about. This leads to various self-discoveries of who I am, as well as new theories for anything from ponderings of the soul, our origins, whatever. Like I said, they are very invigorating conversations. I never learn anything exclusive that I didn't know before.

well, the two voices are more than likely just different aspects of yourself...the reasoning of them dividing up is concerning overall though. You may be experiencing the onset of mpd. Obviously it is best to avoid that...you are neither one, but both...and the more you feed into this being anything but what it is, the more you progress mental illness.

So, get it taken care of...contact a therapist.

It is indeed interesting times we lived in, and could also be said for the past. The thing is, we are able to more openly discuss about such issues currently than in the past, thanks to the annonymous internet.

As to what you are going through, and if you believe you are truly sane then:-

1. Seek pyschatric help first. It is not demeaning or an insult to your intelligence, for many seemingly normal person would not carry out verbal conversations with a 'friend'. You owe it to yourself to find out the truth.

2. Seek out religious advice, and talk to a trusted counsellor, if you really feel it may be something else. He should be wise enough to give you better insights to the spiritual realm, that many other humans whom are caught up in the pursuit of wealth to give a second thought.

3. Many had experience headaches and even tears flowing with no reason in recent times. It is a phenomenon that most will not claim or admit, not even I, who is only a nobody. It may be something more in these difficult times we live in - a concious spiritual awareness that may not have been understood or taught to mankind before.

The critical issue is to make sense of what the conversation had been about, and if it can resolve issues in your life and hurt no one, then it must be something good. If it is not, then you would really need to go for step (1) and (2)

Hope it helps and cheers! :-)

reply to post by OrphenFire


I think it's safe to say that we are all a little nuts at times. In this case, I would agree with Saturn FX. Not that what you are dealing with is a bad thing in my book, but because yo mentioned the "need" to have these discussions at an inappropriate time. A therapist, at least a good one, will not attempt to cure you of these conversations, but merely help you deal with them so they don't have any control over you. I don't have any degrees in Psychology, I fix computers, so take my advice for what it's worth. But I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing, especially if you are learning new things about yourself in the process.

It's normal, just don't put a label on it, don't conclude that you are crazy or schizo its what it is. its thought, i sometimes catch myself talking to myself trhough diffrent personalities, its the way we think nothing more.

It's like we have more perceptions in one body, i bet you can have discussions between these "personalities", well its because its normal. Just research it on yourself and find your answer.

I agree with the above poster; if you can afford it, it wouldn't hurt to see a mental health professional. While I agree with you that you don't seem outright schizophrenic based on my training, it's better to be safe.

Of course, schizophrenics hear voices in their heads, but often times they are being told negative or harmful things about themselves. Your situation seems much different than that.

You mentioned the two voices have different characteristics, specifically the "low" and "demanding" voice. Have you ever gotten into an argument with the other side?

3. Many had experience headaches and even tears flowing with no reason in recent times. It is a phenomenon that most will not claim or admit, not even I, who is only a nobody. It may be something more in these difficult times we live in - a conscious spiritual awareness that may not have been understood or taught to mankind before. (quote)

funny this was mentioned. I went to the ER yesterday because I have had some migraine like headaches for the past week or so.....and yesterday, before I went to the ER...I started to just start to cry for no reason...and at MY age, (firmly into my 40's), I know I am not just a nut-bag......

Hmmmmmmmm

reply to post by Elepheagle


Yes I have been engaged in arguments between the two. They are never resolved (just like arguments between two opposite people) and are only ended by me finally having to stop talking because someone might hear me.

I think that you have a Borderline Personality Disorder.

Just a hunch.

You probably aren't crazy. Some mental disorders are now being found to be a small epileptic seizure in the brain.
Your behavior definitely sounds dissociative.... So.... If you can get a referral, an EEG might be beneficial in a diagnosis.

Your 2 separate simulation personalitys could be separated by a matter of faith. Depending on your level of understanding of others... running such a simulation will be very informative.

If you know its happening, then surely your as sane as rest of us.

Everyone speaks there thoughts now and then. Just as long as your not having conversations with yourself, you should be ok.

reply to post by OrphenFire


It could be the early stages of something. I'd suggest scheduling an appointment with a clinical psychologist and possibly a neurologist. I just have a few questions. Are you presently experiencing higher levels of stress than normal, or were you at the time of your "breakdown." If you're willing, I'd also be interested to know how old you are as that might help in pinning things down.

reply to post by OrphenFire


Well If I were you I would take the save option and seek some medical attention. ( Just in case it's somthing serious.)

Besides that don't label yourself. So, maybe you are different. Who cares what everybody thinks. If you feel OK and it is not a health problem.

Enjoy it ! If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger.

Maybe it's your subconsciense that tells you the things you did registure but did not notice. Who knows ?

Can You meditate bro? Can you clear your mind of all thoughts and if they return dismiss them, don't worry that you thought them, just dismiss them?
You can control your mind. Nervous breakdown? That my freind is an anxiety attack. When that happens you have to control your breathing..slow in...slow out. Expand your lungs, fill them slowly, then..exhale slowly..empty them. Concentrate on your breathing. Do this in meditation too. Go to a psychiatric professional? It's up to you. If your really having trouble on your own and it's really bothering you, do it. Psych Meds: Anti psychotics commonly used :Abilify,Geodon(cardiac arrythmia risk)...totally useless crap. Zyrexa, pretty good but it's been linked to diabetes, weight gain. Risperdal..pretty good, still side effects. Haldol works great if someone is really psychotic, but side extra pyramidal side effects...after long term use, Seroquel...baby Haldol...if you must try the Seroquel. It comes in 25mg tabs up to 300mg tabs., max daily dose is 800mg's. These are heavy duty anti-psychotics...if you do seek profesional help and they want to put you on a drug, look it up yourself..ask questions..it's your right. ANY SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, GO TO AN EMERGENCY ROOM! GET HELP IMMEDIATELY! CALL 911 IF YOU HAVE TO!

Peace and love to you Bro!

Having had a room mate who was diagnosed bi-polar depressive and had problems with voices but also being an evocator of spirits and able to speak to any being in the spirit realm, I have two pieces of advice.

The first is that if these voices are causing any kind of distress, if they are intrusive, if they make you feel anxious, afraid, annoyed, or cause unfocus, then seek therapy.

If however they offer you sound advice, give you insight on matters of life and such that you could not have otherwise gained, then seek to learn their names and what it is they want of you. It could be a calling to a spiritual path. I started talking "to myself" at like the age of 8 but it was often only one voice and I would engage in deep conversations with it, it would teach me about whatever it was I was wondering about, about the nature of myself and other people, and help me understand my own feelings, actions and choices.

However while this voice is allowed to intrude, it is not intrusive, and all other spirits usually have to make an appointment with me if they want to talk to me unless its extremely urgent.

reply to post by OrphenFire


Well a couple things here i do not believe in "menatal disorders" like add adha bi polar depression and all the crap (there is no evidence for them). But schizophrenia has some physical effects on the brain which you might want to get checked out. Multiple personality disorder was made up to originally to sell the book Sybil.

[edit on 14-4-2010 by zaiger]