SUBJECT: ALIENS CAPTURED BY U.S. NAVY FILE: UFO3381 BY BEATRICE DEXTER for WWN Washington, D.C. - WWN has obtained obsolute proof that our government has captured at least one space alien: A dramatic photograph of a living extraterrestrial! The eerie black-and-white image was snapped by a U.S. Marine after he and 12 others tormed a dsiabled alien starship. It was provided to this paper by an unidentified CIA agent with access to top secret U.S. Navy files. "The spacship landed on the deck of the U.S.S. Nimitz in August 1991, and its extraterrestrial crew was taken in to custody," explained the high-ranking agent, who personally interviewed four aliens in a secret Maryland compound in 1993. "Since then, at least two of the aliens are rumored to have died in captivity. "An official photo of the aliens has never been seen by the public because our government won't even admit that the extraterrestrials exist. Yet they've kept these poor beings in an underground site, heavily guarded and totally isolated. It's a terrible inujustice. They should be freed." The 48-year-old agent, who has tried for several years to force the government to free their captives, contends that the 4-foot-tall creatures are harmless. He says they landed on the Nimitz because their ship was having mechanical problemsl and did not resist when Navy personnel seized their craft. In 1994, the source provided a classified government sketch of the extraterrestrials to the NEWS and this paper published the drawing in tis April 5 issue. The article resulted in a special White House investigation into the aliens' situation, but ultimately the plans to release the alien captives were dropped. Last month, the agent contacted the NEWS again and delivered an actual photo of an alien taken when it was captured. The picture has been authenticated by outside experts who verify that the photo is genuine. "The inside of the starship was pitch black, so the alien is illuminated only by the camra's flash," the agent explained. "It looks strange, but it si totally accurate. This is what these little guys look like. And it's absolute proof that we're holding messengers from another world." The agent says his interviews with the aliens were friendly and convinced him that the intelligent creatures deserve sympathetic treatment. "They just want to go home," he said. "But the Navy has dismantled their spaceship in the name of science so there's no way to get them there. We have to figure out what we're going to do with our alien captives before they all die and someone from their world decides to take revenge on us."
Abraham Lincoln's corpse had been revived with a miraculous new drug called Revivitol. According to special correspondent Beatrice Dexter, the mummified remains of the sixteenth president had been exhumed and taken to Walter Reed Army Medical Center for a "hush-hush experiment." After injection of Revivitol, according to Dexter, the dead man opened his eyes and was heard to say clearly, "Gentlemen, where am I?" According to the report, Lincoln was alive for ninety-five seconds, thereby experiencing firsthand the miracles of genetic manipulation.