posted on Apr, 13 2010 @ 01:16 PM
To the OP:
The first thing you need to do is find your source of strength. For you, I would assume that your children will do. Meditate on this thing. Know-- do
not believe, but know-- how much you care about them, and how far you would go to fight for them, for their safety and survival. Envision the
worst possible outcome; perhaps it's the collapse of civilization, and its concomitant security. Find it in yourself to know that, in this worst of
all possible scenarios, you still have your life, your strength, and your wits, and that you will use every ounce of each of them to stand up for the
things that are genuinely important to you in this world.
Every person is infinitely strong, given the proper motivation; one of the most powerful sources of such motivation is the potential necessity of
fighting to protect someone about whom you truly care. See yourself giving your life for them, if you must. Know that this is the worst that this
world can do to you.
When you have meditated upon this, when you have made yourself to truly feel the depth of the love you have for your children, the terror and sorrow
of losing them, and the fury of the primate within you as it fights to overcome whatever foe or force it is that would take them from you, this world
will have nothing more in it for you to fear.
You are strong, and you have the capacity for fearlessness. You must only look within the depths of your subconscious, to the deepest atavistic center
of your love, fear, pain, and rage, to find the source of this strength, and harness it.
That said, the weed can't hurt either. It'll help you come to grips with these emotions, and lend you some degree of aid in finding, experiencing,
and learning from them.