posted on Apr, 9 2010 @ 02:22 AM
As you see her sitting there, all shook up and tormented by battle fatigue, you crawl over to her and offer a smoke.
As you sit there in the mud, chit-chatting about "war is hell" and "when I get home, I'll become a teacher, blah blah", a handgrenade suddenly
comes flying in your direction. You scream "GET DOWN!!!" and catch it mid-air and throw it back into no-mans land.
There; you saved her life and she will most certianly go to bed with you.
The zombie apocalypse:
As you scout a deserted suburb you might come across a beautiful lady being chased by them evil brain-eating undead.
You scream "GET BEHIND ME!!!" and after some well-put shotgun blasts here and some samurai-sword slashings there, you walk over to her, wipe the
blood from your face and hold out your hand. As she shakes it you say;
"Hello missy. My name is [insert cool warrior name here], zombie-slayer and personal saviour, at your service."
She will sooo fall for that. I mean, you are probably the only two alive within miles anyhow, so it's not like she has any options, right?
At the bar:
You scan the location for a hot chick that wears a short skirt (preferrable for maximum result). You sneak up behind her, have your hand with fingers
outstreached and together (like a karate-chop or "papers" in "rock-scissors-paper") and slide it in between her legs (the higher up and deeper you
put it, the better).
As she turns around, you raise one eye-brow, give her a "Don Juan" smile and say;
"You've got mail..."
(there is supposed to be a pun here, like "you got male")
This works much better than one might think.
Don't forget to u2u me and tell me how it went. You can thank me later.
Other than that...the internet, maybe?
Has worked fine for me at least.