There's no way four hours past before I tried to edit.
To finish my story, after the doctors dismissed my pain, I wasn't too happy. While I waited for the nurse to fing out what the conclusion was, I
started to lose my self-control.
I lost it
I ended up being escorted out of the hospital by security. Wait, f this . I'm going to give you a copy of the email I sent to my old helper back up in
Kenora, Ontario. She was advising me to go to the hospital. Here's what I wrote her verbatim.
"I took every one's advice and went to the hospital.
After I was discharged, even though I only saw the doctor for a few
minutes. And when she discharged me, she spent on 30 seconds
explaining the tests were negative, she left. I didn't understand what
she said, because she didn't ask me if I understood. She did not ask
if I had any questions, and left without another word. I also spoke
with a crisis nurse. She was good. She helped me with my government
housing application, but she wasn't able to communicate my needs to
the doctor. In total, I spent less than four minutes with the doctor.
Apparently, it's just all stress and anxiety. F uck. They didn't even
discuss with me the mouth guard and my trigeminal nerve. Heck, maybe i
should have been offered lorazopam. I explained I stopped taking them
last August. And that it was this withdrawal that caused me to grind
my teeth which injured my trigeminal nerve. Those f uckers. I have had
nightmares every night. In one dream I was trapped in an airport in
France. When I awoke an analysised the dream, I realized this was
based on an actual event. There was a refugee stuck in a Paris
airport. Because no would take him.
The guy spent 15 years as a refugee in the Paris Airport.
who knows what my dream meant
I almost got in a fight with the security guards. I was walking off
the property. I was silent and determined to leave as soon as
The guy, shouted after me, "Why don't you learn some respect."
I lost it. I got in his face. Yelled at him about his need to have the
last word. Told him I was walking away as asked, and he thought he
should have the last word. I told him to follow me out to the public
sidewalk to further our discussion and duke it out. I regressed. He
kept threatening me with a trespassing charge. I told him I was
walking away and therefore this threat was absurd.
I walked away.
Worse off for the experience.
I am a third class citizen. No,... I am a plague. Something to be
removed like a germ.
I am sick. And no one has the cure.
I can manage my illness. I can't manage those that purport to have the
monopoly on help.
Doctors think they are Gods.
I'm a heratic. f uck them.
sherry almost caused me to jump
this last prize had me enraged.
it's those muther f uckers who fail to communicate and understand.
the only f ucker to fully know the hell i live, is me"
edit on 14-3-2013 by ericblair4891 because: (no reason given)