Robinesque Ruminations

We've broken through many boundries. We don't have many frontiers left. 'Cept maybe the deep ocean, and deep space. You get my point. There's a few- but- the most fascinating is the frontier of the mind. That's where I've been. All my life. Sad really. But. Whatever.

15 years ago I told the doctors their anit-depressants don't work. And the side-effects are real. I realized then, that the short term benefits were not as a result from taking medication, but came from focusing "professional" attention on problem. The "talking".

I knew people were being fooled into thinking the pills work. It's the placebo effect.

Then I found the studies. The studies that started studying the studies. The drug companies cherry pick their results. If an independant researcher fudged the data as much, they would be discredited, and they may be guilty of fraud. But for corporations, there seems to be different rules.

I quit smoking recently. I feel as if I could kill from a cigarette. That's figurative. In case anyone worries.

If you're wondering why I'm ranting again. It's because of 60 Minutes last night. They shone a light on the placebo effect.

Close your eyes so you can try and imagine this next number. 11 Billion Dollars. That's just in the USA. This "mistake". I'm calling it a mistake because that's the most diplomatic thing I can say about it. This mistake, over the years, has swelled the drug companies coffiers by trillions of dollars over decades. Hell, I'm just going to throw a number out there. It's just a number, but I know it's damned close to being true. I bet the drug companies have taken in about 14 trillion dollars over the years. About the equivelant of the American Debt. I'm not going to show my work. You'll just have to trust me. This mistake- has misplaced -14 trillions of your money. Instead of research that really works, we're pissed billions of dollars of powerful medications down the toliet and into the watershed. Hope the stuff works on fish. Combined with the estrogen, we're going to have funky fish.

If that money was redirect into productive research, lives could have been saved. I don't have the data to back up this claim either. I just know it's true. From the deepest spot in my soul, I can say with all conviction, they almost killed me.

Several times. Others have been so lucky, or rather, stubborn.

What is the most powerful thing on this planet?

The will to survive.

Tust me. Even if you rebel against it completely, it will be there until that last moment. Fighting.

It's been 143 hours.
127 hours really isn't that long a time to be trapped. Won't have a cigarette.
Want a cigarette. No.
At least I haven't chewed off my own face yet.

Do you want to know why I'm really upset? It's because the doctors still want me to try more meds. I hate them. I love them. They are trying to help me. They have faith. A faith I don't share with them. I have experience.

I am not a professed Christian. But I often wonder, what would Jesus think?
Jesus had to love the fools. Even as they tortured him. Because, he knew. He knew that they did not know. They did not know what they were doing to themselves. In the eyes of God. In history's view. They did not know.

Okay. Now to keep score on my "predictions". I give up on trying to figure out the GOP race. I'll defer to David Brooks, the Republican I can listen to without getting angry. Romney. So, a big X as a pundit for the GOP.

I'm still wondering what's up with the European Banks. I think there was an attack. But, they repelled it for the most part. Except, in Greece. If you look at Greece, you begin to wonder about a collapse. It's obvious that the Greek society has collapsed within Europe. So. It's not a big leap.

I get a big check mark for being right about Iran. They've jumped into the oil market but not by blockade. Which is good for them, because a blockade is an act of war and they couldn't actually do it. The threat was what counted. Instead, they've screwed around with oil prices by sending an shock through markets. Timing is important because European stocks are really low due to a cold winter. Why would the Iranians wait until France and England found other sources. No.

Today, here in Northern Ontario, it is about -6 C. A normal late winter day. But it hasn't been a normal winter. Not here. Not anywhere really. It's either been warmer than normal. Or like Europe, you've had a severe winter. Something has changed.

Puterman. You are wrong. You except the world may be warming. But you discount the human contribution.
Regardless, it's happening.

Today, is the last real day of winter here. Why do I say that? Because tomorrow, mother nature will flip a switch and we will be in a virtual heat wave. The next two weeks are forecasted to be well above normal. The night time low will be hovering around the average day time highs.

I haven't had a cigerette in 24 days. I've suffered through one of the worst years in my life. Over the last two weeks I endured thoughts of suicide. It was as if I was being attacked by bees. I didn't want these thoughts and swatted them away as fast as I could. I hit my low point. I question everything in my life, and everything in my world. I have come through the worst. I am now reset and will try again.

No one has failed as much as I and kept getting up. I am as dumb and as stubborn as Rocky. Rocks in my head.

So, I am not a timid lamb and do not shrink at horrible things. But when I think about the future and how fast it is changing, I shudder and hope my worst imagings are not realized.

The change is happening. And it's happening faster than thought.
You'll never see stranger days. Than those that have yet to come.

"You're going to need a bigger air conditioner."

reply to post by ericblair4891


hey Eric, have been wondering about you lately glad to hear from you!

You up around Timmons, by any chance? Cause I spent some time there long ago.

Sending you good vibes and big hugs!

Kat the berkeleygal

reply to post by berkeleygal


Thanks for that Kat. I'm nearer to Winnipeg in the center of Canada. I came here seven years ago to find "The Canadian Winter". Never found it. The real cold is gone.

Thank golly gee the man had a big bag of pills for me. These one work but they are not for the weak.

If i hadn't meet the man with the bag then I'd surely be more despondent. Rough parting last evening. So sad.

But that aside, I'm eff-fuucking mad at the world, god, guns, my father, myself and that every was and all theat will every be. This eff-fuucking weather is making me angry. So furiously angry. And most of the bobbing heads are licking it up and rejoicing. I am not. I must be the most fericious mysangthropist in the world. I hate you all. What the hell are you doing? I just lost 8 weeks of winter somewhere and I live in the eff-fuucking artic. It ruined the trip I had planned with my son. Someday soon I'm fearing having to return to the belly of the boiling beast. I love it here. I don't want to go. eff-Fuuck. I"m buying a ticket to hell. Or live in a purgatory full of pins and needles.

You damned fools. I told you. My ex saw before her eyes all that I had been saying was true. There was no doubt I was not wrong and foolish. I could see the future and that's why we were here. She wants to go live in the burning valley. Because it's go a hot tub.
I want the cold water.

The fresh air.

And the need for no air conditioning.
# the air conditioning.

eff-fuuck you all.

looks like the next ten years are war.
thanfully i took the training,.

you can have ethics during peace time
but not when warring

reply to post by ericblair4891



Ok,eric,to much of the meds I take it.

But it's not the end of the world,yet,enjoy it while you can.
We only have one chance at it.
I have a friend that you might find some comfort in talking to,he is very much aware of the state of the world also,and also dealing with fracking in his country of Australia.

So,if you so desire,I will hook you two up,it will be well worth it.

reply to post by kdog1982


Yes, yesterday I had too much. I was in too much pain.
But I am left with clear light of day. And there's the problem. I don't like them beams. I've been watching the snows melt since I was a wee lad. Nothing in the world fascinated me as much as the ice turning to water and flowing away. Over the years, I created many a mighty stream. Rivers. I would make damns and resoviours. And like some vengeful god, I would cause a flash flood and wash away everything before me.

The ice will melt faster than we think.

Today, March 19, a hair before spring, there is no snow on the roof tops. Just snow where there is shade. The ice remains on the rivers and lakes. But for the most part, winter is gone. This has not happened here before. If you lived here for a hundred years and remembered everything well, you would have witnessed nothing like this.

At least I witnessed something historic during my journey to the north. I didn't find a "Real Canadian Winter". But I did find the change.

The change is here.

I saw a butterfly flutterby. It should be too cold.
I saw a leaf spring free a onced buried pile, and escape with the wind.

The dripping's stopped. Even the gutter's emptining into the alley's have ceased.
It's actually quiet. No melt left. The ice on the water's don't drip as much as off the eaves of the houses.
The only thing you hear is the tap and the washers. Hardly traffic really. Not yet. But soon.

It's done. The switch flipped. Time leaped over all of us. Now we're behind. All the while we thought we were ahead.
No.
The world's upside down now. We're in it deep now and there's no sense wasting you denial breath on me.
Don't worry about me. I'll come up dirty just like the last mammels that out survived the big dinos. Save those birds. Save, those damned beautiful birds. The geese are back. The frost is almost out of the gardens and were really not supposed to plant for over a month yet. And that's just the super hardy stuff. May 24 is a long way away.

World's gone mad I told ya.

This ain't March 24. It ain't the 20th til tomorrow. The first day of spring. Damn daylight savings time and leap year put us a couple of months ahead instead. Wait the hell time is it again? Nap time.

I give it a week before I hear the first mowers.
Knowing that, I'll enjoy the silence a little more.
A big stupid loud fly flew through my room.
I thought I heard him again. And worried he's coming back. Should put the screens on.
I thinks he's gone.

reply to post by ericblair4891


Tell me about it! Catskill Mountains



Congradulations on stopping smoking.

It has been in the 80's all week here in northern Kentucky.
Everything is blooming,airconditioner is on and I mowed my weeds down this weekend.
At least a month early maybe two.
Tomorrow is suppose to hit 87.
This is normal 300 mile south of me.
It's summertime before spring.

I'm still beating myself up for calling the market bust. What I will say is that I am amazed by the strength of the Europeans. They didn't fold. But, this has caused divisions.

I haven't been reading much. But if I was, I'd bet someone has already blamed the upside down winter on the BP oil spill. You can't call it a winter that wasn't, because some places got winter times two. I think the AO high pressure was due to oil not allowing as much evaporation and changed the jet stream. Somebody today was suggesting is was an albido effect due to the tsunami and all the junk in the Pacific. The radio announcer wasn't sure if the originating story out of Chicago was a joke or not.

Wisconsin. The weirdness continues. There will be a Great Eastern Swarm, and it will be soon. Booms and groans from all parts. Windsor hum? Swarm earthquakes due to injection. Ohio. WTF? They've stopped now though. Proof again.

In Wisconsin, a geologist suspects the water table is low and settling. But it is nothing compared to the tapped-out water table under Texas. I think the key to the whole disaster is Texas. They've been sucking out fluids from those lands for a good hundred years now. They're squeezing and blowing up every hole fracking every drop and gasp of gas out of those wells. Now, they've suck the aquifer dry. Or, at least nearly dry. They've done something screwy to the land and the crust. Don't forget the nieghbours. Okie and Arkie. It's the shifting and settling that will be the undoing. Reservoirs empty. Less mass. Less stress. Adjustments.

On a geologic scale, these adjustments are like a deer shaking to rid itself of the biting flies. But to us, more specifically to the people that live there, it will be life altering. Sorry.

What do I know? I got Texas on the brain?
What do I know? I thought Perry was a shoe in.

oops

Today is a good day to give man hugs when you get a gusher. I'm not talking about manlove that most conservatives would disapprove of. You know. When the oil boys in the old days danced around all covered in oil.

The US Government is beholden to the oil industry. The richest in our society is on welfare. Yet, the common person is taught to have disdain for those on social assistance and believe the poor are parasites. Obama and the Dems are saying the subsidies should end. But they won't.

reply to post by ericblair4891

They're squeezing and blowing up every hole fracking every drop and gasp of gas out of those wells. Now, they've suck the aquifer dry. Or, at least nearly dry. They've done something screwy to the land and the crust.

The whole think is connected deep down. That shale runs from the GOM right under the US up to Canada. Suck on bit and eventually you suck it all IMO.

chealth.canoe.ca...

Anti-depressants don't work. It's placebo. Anti-depressants are worse than placebo. Placebos have no side-effects. And there is a beneficial placebo effect. Anti-depressants do have side-effects. Lots. And minimal benefit.

This is a reality. A reality I know too well. Everyone who has wanted to help me has wanted me to take anti-depressants. I've also had anti-psycotics. Respirdol. Texas sued Johnson and Johnson because they downplayed and hid negative side effects. When I was taking it I was having lucid dreams which spilled into my day time consciousness and blurred the lines between reality and delusion. They made me worse. I almost passed out whenever I stood up to fast. I became convinced aliens were trying to contact me via the stars and that they geometry was a secret code that if I locked it I would win my freedom. Don't ask. I stopped taking them and the idea went away. Besides, the delusions I create with my imagination are much more realistic and have to follow a basically strict regime of logic. It's too bad I understand basic physics because it limits where my "dreams" take me.

Why am I so upset by this professional misconduct? It is. Pharma companies bribed and cooperated with doctors in a "deluded" conspiracy. They think they are doing no harm despite the real evidence to the contrary. This is the perfect definition of delusion. The facts are in front of them and they are still acting as if it's business as usual.

Why am I so freakin' upset?
'Cause they almost killed me.
Doctors almost killed me.

But thank you for my DNA. I was born with a surviors DNA despite all my sensitivities and disfunctions.
In the end, I'm a son of a bitch and I bite.

chealth.canoe.ca...

It's just a damned hard job killin' me.
I couldn't even do it myself.

B vitamins. Try them. Get a sublingual B12 and try it. I take 3000 MCG a day and also B's. I promise they will help. Anti-depressants almost killed me because I wanted to kill myself after one week on them. I got off them and turned heavily to vitamins and good healthy eating.

reply to post by katfish


I agree with you about vitamin B. The problem is that I don't like supplements. Cod liver being my only exception and I have some reservations about it as well. I think the best way is adding it into diet. I believe Vitamin E isn't a good idea. And now they're finding out estrogen isn't always the best route. Especially considering it's ending up in water supply. Along with anti-depressants because many people pitch them down the toliet after they stop taking them. I can't say anything is really wrong. It's just like to simplify diet so that it's easy and covers all the bases. Food is medicine. Also, I think ASA is okay. I'm trying not to be preachy. Taking a supplement is better than not getting enough. I guess moderation is all things. Except anti-depressant medicine. I agree with vitamin B because it's in meat. We need meat for our brains. So, vegetarians need to find good substitutes which isn't exactly easy or the same thing. Just like vitamin D2 is not vitamin D3.

Conspiracy. I've always known what it has meant in popular culture. What I didn't know was the word's origin.

I basically means to breath/live togther. Or I guess today, to think and act together.

I'll be honest. I thought I had the bug to write today. The whole plan was made clear to me this morning and I was going to explain it. I was wrong about the market but not wrong about the attack on Europe. And it still all revolves are the price of oil. Which I believe today is above 100$ . If oil is high and natural gas is low, people and institutions will convert. This has been T Boone Pickens plan all along.

Oil prices will not be coming down unlike 2007.

I mean, Picken's plan is actually a real thing called the Pickens Plan. Catchy name.
en.wikipedia.org...

So, first you needed to getting production up and running. That's the first part of capitalism. Actually, the second part. They first needed money to invest in equipment, leases, and other start up costs. (bribes- changing the law. this plan really started back with Enron- which was a Trojan Horse) (and manipulating markets so the could steal workers pension funds) So, once you acquire funding and complete operational logistics, you know have the most important part of the equation, supply.

So now that you have supply, you must meet demand. And if demand is not as big as you want, you need to do some marketing and create a demand. Or, manipulate the demand and the supply. Anyone remember the brown outs in California. It wasn't lack of supply that was the problem. Nor was it that demand was more than capacity. It was that the balance was thrown off so that artificial storages were made which raised the price of supply.

So, if you can drive up oil prices, you can create a demand for a cheaper alternative. "Now you're cooking with gas."

Invest in gas. Take the profits and put them into solar.

I'm not being a hypocrite. Think it all the way through. If you become a millionaire from being a gas tycoon, maybe you could be the one to invest in city sidewalks that generate electricity when you walk on them.

Mammoth. I've had some mammoth days recently. And sooner or later I'll be extinct. It's never just one reason.

I upset my dental hygenist today when I opened my big loud mouth.. I told her the information she had been giving me has been retracted and is no longer true. She wasn't lying. but. I'm very good at upsetting people. It's not that I enjoy making people sad. It's just that I'm so very good at making myself miserable and so it's easy for my glumness to rub off on others. I thought she was going to cry at one point. She defended her professionalism to me over and over again and said she was doing her best. I knew that. So I tried, and failed to back track. I said hey, you know they always go back and forth on studies, so it may not be true, who knows. I went back and checked. I thought maybe I was hearing things and I was wrong. Nope. NPR had a story and there is no link or cause. Yes, gum disease and heart disease can coexist but they are only common because there is inflammation. Inflammation is the real killer. Our bodies own swelling kills us. So. It's never one thing that keeps us healthy. And it's never one thing that kills us really. Most times. We fall apart.
And the story said it's still a very good idea to floss to clean your gums and teeth healthy.
Apparently a heart surgeon she knows hasn't read the reports yet because she said the doctor made the link just a few days ago. New stuff happens fast is all. Doctors don't stay as current as they should.

That's not why I'm here. I'm here to share a new super hero. I shouldn't write here on ATS because they'll steal it and this will be copyrighted and such. So, freakin' what. I am EL Loco JackAsso. I have accidently found my super power. I used to think I was kinda like The Tick. Uncrushable. But no. I'm intractable. No, Damn it. I hate the English Language. Way too many damned words. Now I'm sure it's I'm intransigent. ug.

They're kinda the same thing. Anyway. Nudge Nudge winkie winkie I have a friend and he had an issue that he needed to deal with in a very offical way. Technically, writing about it is a no no because we live in dark times where such things do happen. It's funny how we accept them as normal even if they are abhorent, but in our live they just become normal, just normal things in our life. Repitition can make the most perverse things seems normal. But if we read them in a book like 1984 or as in Huxley's Brave New World, the strange opressive rules seem foreign. This is not fiction. You live in a distopian world. At this point I'm getting nostalgic for the innocent notions in George Orwell's head. If he came back he'd be trippin'. I really think I've got some insight into how he might feel.



So, my friend in this fictional story has an official issue which has lots of words involved and big important people who kinda rule like a king or something. Rules and decormum are very important. Despite all this. It's really just like the through the looking glass story. So. My friend, me says, No. I don't agree. I say it again. Then I give a very logical reason why. It won't work says my friend me. Somehow, the fault is all my friends'. He stops the happy party by being different and not believing. So, the king got angry. So, angry, the king prejudged my fate even though not all my stories had been told. It didn't matter. I would lose before I played if I did not play ball. My friend thought about it but could not change my mind. No had to be the answer.

Well. People don't like the word. They don't like the truth either. And they liars. They don't like not getting their way. They don't like it when you seem intractable. Intransigent. So, though my friend had good sound reasons,not flights of fancy, it was said that his actions, or rather inaction, was "CRAZY" Not mentally ill mind you, which is in fact the case. NO. My friends agrument was called crazy because he dared say no and not surrender to bullying by the king. Oh Kings, still you rain. The king said my stubborness is crazy. I am a donkey, a mule. I am a man. I am a mad mule man,


I am

EL LOCO JACKASSO

or for you anglos

the mad jackass

People.

My karma is terrible. I was at 50. That was such a good number. Very balanced. So. I'm sitting here writing for a moment. I just finished my mad jack ass rant. It was needed. It's the only way I keep sane these days. My anger is such that if I don't create, mock and articulate, I'll not be a good boy. I can't see myself exploding anymore. I don't want to. It's all dramatic and such. But it doesn't solve anything. It just looks real cool in a Hollywood movie. Like the glass smashing scene. You know, the guy gets angry and shatters the glass. This is not a good thing to do in real life. I know this because I have a big slice in one of my fingers. I was being stupid and thought that's what you do. I saw no division between art and life at that time. So, young. So naive.

Well. I'm here. For a bit. I don't know why, but I thought I'd offer to answer any questions you may have. This started because I didn't want to rant to my helper and I told her to ask me random questions about stuff that she wanted to know but never got around to figuring out the answer. I told her I have lots of useless information in my head. Her question was about geese and why they fly in a V. I actually didn't know the exact answer off the top of my head. I had to think about it. I checked later on the internet and the answer I gave her was correct.

I used "the method" but I also incorporated evolution. Elementary, and evolutionary thinking seem to answer most things. By the way, Thomas Cream was not the ripper silly idea. Yes, Sherlock was based on Dr Bell but the ripper is not Cream. The investigation and this time period fascinates me. It's just about the time murder becomes industrial.

I have a great suspect.
Won't give it here anyway.

Sorry. Rough Days. I suppose this is just kicking and screaming until I play myself out.

I wish I could get some real help so I can work on my novels. I have two ideas that I think will make good movies.

One is about the ripper case.

And the other is about Atlantis and Soddom and Gommorah. This story is epic.

I just had a very odd and strange thought which unfortunately I completely belive. When Atlantis exploded and the island was turned into sulfuric rain clouds, the Atlantians vapourized and their atoms and molecules became part of the storm from hell. I'm not finishing my thoughts for a multitude of reasons.

If you want to ask me a question. I'll hang around for a bit. I'm only saying this now because you'll be catching me in an extraordinary mood. It's an unknown mood so take advantage. It's like I'm not so manic and my karma is calm enough I'm almost making complete sense. Trust me, I know I don't always make sense and I frankly don't care. Einstien understood it took many failures. And that imagination is the most powerful force. And since imagination is the seemingly random connection of thoughts which happen spontaneously and sometimes by accident, it is a good thing to express even nonsense.

Like this. This is a stupid idea.
I love you buddy but yes it is.

edit

My poor helpers. I've been writing all night. Ranting about an injustice I've suffered. I wanted to get to sleep earlier but that won't happen. I'm quite literally having a brain storm. When I get upset I work myself into an almost relgious fervor. Lots of people have it for different reasons. Like epilepsy. I smell burnt toast. I'm learning to control it but it isn't easy. It goes way back and I think it's first description would be the bezerkers.

I go beserk. Hell, you're all beserk. I've seen too much of it. But in it's truest form, it can only be understood if you've seen it or witnessed it. I'm sure you've seen drug or alchol induced ones on television and etc. But the real deal is more like the ones the evangelecals have but with the antichrist along for the ride.

What's fascinating is that the same basic mental system can charge the eureka moments in true scientific discovery. It's a rush like a drug. All pure hormone. You can't really synthesize the real thing. Because it's not one thing.

Like the extinction of the mammoth, it was more than just one cause.

Oh. today I realized I am a selfish bastard. People really like me for some reason. Heck, it's cause I'm funny and smart. shhh it just masks my misery to . shut up .......

no, the person asked if I had remembered anything that they had told me. This person was trying to convince me that I had taught them something. etc. I feel so guilty about being self centered because I did remmber things the person told me but nowhere nearly as much as I should have or could have. That's not all true. But it illustrated I need to be less selfish. The tough part is that I am know confident that society is filled with morons and I want no part of it and it's okay to be a misanthropist. Of course I'll still love people. Just like pets.

But since I must live in the world because of another special soul. I will and be gald I can.

I'm tired now. So, the short window where I may have had an actual cohert thought without whining about poor little me has passed. Unless I see something when I finish my edit and look I'm done. I can't promise anything about tomorrow. It's another time.

I'm still finding it impossible to say no as much as I'd like. One day that's all I want to say all day long. Everyone wil ask. Do you this, or do you that? and all day long I'll say, no, no. no.

Edit. Still got some juice. Europe.

I really think I had it right about Europe. The hammer is still beating and it's not going to stop. I had doubt my predictions because it seemed like the Americans had beaten down the Euro to a point where they were happy everyone got the message. No. So. I think it's an ownership play. The want to wreck Europe so the can go buy it cheap.

I think there's one thing should be discussed. Will China pop?

It's looks like a bubble quack

It smells like a bubble quack

It feels like a bubble quack

it's a duck

because although China is the world's capitalists manfuacturing center and is state run, single party ruled, it cannot defy physics and the duck cannot fly upside down.

all bubbles pop
ducks quack
bubbles burst
that's physics

you really thing a bunch of government accountants are going to get the math right all the time.
they will eventually have the world's largest economy.
what a struggle for control that will be. but you see my point. they won't get the numbers right, they're actually constistently lying about their growth, they won't get the numbers right and they will implode.

housing
real estate. if you notice. it is the modern stock crasher. in 29 it was just wild speculation everywhere. but if you go back to Asia in the 1990's, since then it's been about real estate.

2008 was real estate.
and faulty math, the genius math students wanted the money, no one understood their accounting because it was theoretical philosophical hog wash. No real world application. They were young and smart and they gave the old rich dudes the ideas and the computers. No one knew how to shut them off. The real issue wsa that the students were math students.

Damn damn damn math students. I was a math kid. I could almost keep up paces with the math geeks. The problem is they were greedy and narrow minded. They forgot one major thing. History.

Somehow. History didn't matter. The took quantum phyics and tried to able it to the wimps of the human mind. The manic human mind. The not always rational and often corrupted and aggresive human mind that controls our buying habits and lifestyles. No. It was stupid and greedy and they are doing the same thing over and over again trying to gamble and fix the game so the win everytime.

So, my point is to expect things that have happened in the past. Big financial crashes and big ugly wars.

Unless you've notice some big change in humanity that I haven't.

Okay, I stop there. I didn't mean to make that turn. Just that China will have a crisis. Sooner or later.

Probably later. I'm always so impatient. This is long and not edited. I don't blame you for not reading and wonder why I'm writing.


crazy