Medication: Fitting in vs Happily living life

Since i was 5, i have been medicated on different drugs for things like 'ADHD' or 'OCD', but recently i came to reconsider taking these. I was on these drugs to fit into society's model of an ideal person. I thought "Why am i taking these drugs? Why can't i be myself, regardless of how others see me? Why is it bad to be different? If i was placed on this planet to be a certain person, why can't i be that person, instead of tucking him away?". I always had the worse case side effects as drugs never worked as prescribed. I had this gut urge that i need to get off drugs ASAP, that it's holding me back, sedating me, somehow.

Since then i have been trying to get myself off these drugs. I went off Zoloft cold turkey, which was ironically making me more depressed, and strattera. Immediatly, i noticed how much happier i was. I literally felt like i was walking on a cloud 24/7. Unfortunately, my parents forced me back on it after 3 days because they were nervous over adverse withdraw side effects. They told me to wait until i went to the doctor today to work out a plan to get me off. The deal was to get off zoloft, but stay on strattera until i take my SAT's (which looking at the world today, won't matter in a year).

You see, the problem is that while i'm on medication, i can focus in school (although i'm pretty bored), but feel like a robot much of the time. When i'm off, i am just so incredibly happy, you would think i'm on the other type of drugs (illegal drugs). I literally feel like i'm floating on a cloud. But, as a result of that, i don't fit into normal society, so i don't focus in class (i could if i wanted to, but it holds no interest for me), and say the first thing on my mind (totally honest), teachers label me as a problem, i struggle socially, etc. My doctor today pushed me to try a new medicine. I reluctantly agreed. The dilemma is that if i'm off medication, with the slightest issue over anything my parents would immediately point to my not being on meds as the culprit, even if it's an issue that i would have had before. It's very much a bias. I agreed because it would save numerous arguments and not keep my mom up at night worrying about me.

Still, I am so sick of not being able to be myself. This person i am when on meds, is not me. You know, if i came here to work through certain problems and be a certain person, why can't i be that person? It's the thinking that i have something wrong with me, other than that's who i am.

What do you think i should do? It's the question of whether i should conform to society or live my life in happiness. If i'm on meds, i WILL be like a robot, i WILL fit in. If i'm off, i WILL be different, i WILL NOT fit. Personally i want to be off meds and deal with it the natural way, but it would be a constant battle with others trying to convince me otherwise, which i don't really want to deal with. So what do you think it should be: happiness vs fitting into society? What do you guys think the effect is of man-made medication is on the personal ascension process, if any?

[edit on 5-4-2010 by mossme89]

First off how old are you? Second if you are not hurting anyone I do not see the problem of not being on them? If you go to school, it might affect your grades then in the future might affect your future career. But happiness comes first

Originally posted by Maddogkull
First off how old are you? Second if you are not hurting anyone I do not see the problem of not being on them? If you go to school, it might affect your grades then in the future might affect your future career. But happiness comes first

I'm 16.

I'm not hurting anyone, but do not fit in socially off them (which doesn't really matter to me). Personally, i'd rather have bad grades and be happy than good grades and miserable

Good grades, money, job, etc. != happy

Two years, turn 18, be your own person. Of course if you're not ready to strike out on your own you'll have to make compromises. It sounds like you're not at the point of self sufficiency just yet, give it time and try not to let the family fear infect you. You've plenty of time to step up and learn your own way. I like your choice to eliminate mentally impairing drugs from your system, wishing I could reduce my daily load of big pharma for various ailments. Remember it's a process (change) not just an option (choice).

gj

Suggest to your parents about going to a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist. In many cases psychotherapy can be just as successful as drug therapy, except when a person is suffering from something like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. I suggest staying on your meds for at least the start of therapy and slowly weening yourself off of them. Meds can help immensely with the early stages of therapy and in many cases when therapy and medication are combined the treatment is much more successful and long lasting.

reply to post by mossme89


video

pretty much any medication you ' have to take for a month or longer before you see results ' is a scam

personal opinion based on experience, i've been around the whole psychiatric system



[edit on 4/5/2010 by indigothefish]