Why it seems like you can never win

Excuse me while I rant here, I'm just having one of those moments where everything seems to make sense....

So every human on the Earth has one basic need:
Achieving complete happiness, a complete piece of mind.

The answer to achieving this happiness is pretty simple:
We must satisfy everyone of our needs in a positive manner--
1. We must make our creators (parents/guardians) happy (go to college- get a good job-so we can get money)
2. We have to make our partner happy (spend time with them, try to take their mind of negative things)
3. We must make our employer happy. (So we can "buy our freedom" in a sense. The more money you make, the more control you have) In a sense, an employer and everything above them just owns you.
4. We must make everything that we own happy (This can include everything from our cars, electronics, etc) And in a sense, this also includes our children and anyone that works for us)
5. The list just goes on...but basically if everything and everyone are us are happy, then we will be happy.

That is the assumption anyway.

But why is it impossible to achieve happiness by relying on the things around us?
Well anytime we gain something. If we start to make more money, expand our group of immediate friends and family...then that means we just have to satisfy more needs.

If we become a famous musician, then this ideology doesn't change.
Instead of having to worry about paying bills...we have to worry about the of our actions more.
If we don't create music...then our fans aren't happy. If our fans aren't happy, then we don't get paid. Which is fine considering we a rich...but the implications are disasterous to everything around us. Our sponsors, record label, producers are all losing money as well if you fail to make music.

People are so individualistic now. We want to be different from other people, stand out, have different beliefs. But at the same time...others must also accept us.

Do you see the contradiction in that? How can we be different, and at the same time, be accepted by everyone around us?

The more we distance ourselves from people, the more and more the human race starts to lose a "collective happiness". I'm sure you can fill in the gaps. It's because we are so selfish and negative...that everything around us seems so selfish and negative.

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
This is true in physics---A ball hitting a wall and bouncing back
This is true in mathematics---An equation must be balanced on both sides to make sense
This is true in human nature---You can't expect to be loved by people unless you truly love them back.

I don't know. It just seems the more I contemplate things...the more I write down, the more that language and answers just don't seem to matter.

People could argue forever on a message board and never get any closer to finding their answer, from when they originally started arguing. It's because words are just symbols and just symbols are just implictve of contradicting ideals.

The only way to truly understand and grow, to be happy, is to take everything from an individual basis. There is a reason why if we just start talking to somebody, then their personality starts to grow on us. They might be fat, weird looking, and have a funny voice...but if we are around them and listen, then we start to understand them better. It's not done through words, because understanding things and listening to someones words are completely different.

I find that if I concentrate more on what I'm going to say to somebody, and less on the person themselves, then the communication always seems to fail. It's not what you say that's important...it's how you say it.

Perhaps the greatest thing you can do is just follow your dreams, and then hopefully, not have to bask in the spotlight of fame. People who set out to be famous have no idea the pressure and business they are getting into.

There is something that is hidden within us...something that doesn't need to be satisfied. Something that is already satisfied. And if we just believe, if we just learn to not give into the idealistic idea of money fame and satisfaction, and just learn to understand things that matter...then that's all that matters.

Or so it seems.

I could ramble for hours, but I wont get any closer to figuring things out. Our thought process is construed by the idea of language. Because in order to communicate an idea, we have to think of the word in our head first for it to make sense. And it shouldn't be like that....something about subconscious thought is so pure and beautiful.

Anyway, hopefully you can follow my train of though here. It's hard to get people to understand nowadays

Thanks for another thought burner

Huge validity in what you've presented. On an intellectual level I must agree completely. I humbly suggest using a different set of tools - or maybe more like using your set of tools differently. We obsess over the content of our thought constantly - rare and insightful moments may come when we notice our process of thinking rather than the content.

As a humble example, look at your lists, not what's on them (content), the conceptualization of those lists indicates a mode of problem solving. It is natural, comfortable and pretty easy to use this approach in day-to-day life. Unfortunately, when you're progressing towards self actualization task orientation doesn't apply so we are frustrated with the results.

I have plenty of experience with past regrets and fears, failures and misfortune, pain and anguish - emphasis on past (we all have minor reoccurrences form time to time, it doesn't have to be a mindset). So it's a long way round to my point: brain=intellect is not the right tool to use for solutions in a soul=spirit=fulfillment problem space. BUT we have a uniquely finely honed instrument in the mind, we can apply it change the structure of our thought, that can be directed. Sounds trite, but if you can never win why not change the game? Or why expect different results using the same methods?

Here's a thought: try viewing the problem space not as a big bowl of stuff that has to be accomodated, but rather a simple collection that has not yet come into clear view - yeah I know, sounds stupid it's just an demo of changing the way one thinks about a problem space. On a practical note, simplify condense and change assumptions.

gj

So what your saying, in retrospect, is the best way to solve a problem is not worrying about it? Thinking that there is no problem makes you problem free?

I am sure happiness is not what all people want as i do not want it, piece of mind is more important.

The world is rotten place and i doubt many have piece of mind anyway even though they may be happy or not.

Yea this universe is a maze in a bottle floating on a ocean, a latice within a latice, you add something to any part, the whole thing changes. Sometimes you just have to let go of things, sometimes to do more you have to do less. And you answered your own question on the differences of people, when they try to be the same they are like everyone alse, when they try to be different, they are different just like everybody alse. If you look at it for what it is the universe/world never changes it always is what it is. The only thing that changes is our perseption of it. Its like the human perseption of the universe is our own little bubble universe within this universe, and it's expanding.

reply to post by Nostradumbass


Don't know if you're replying to my post

So what your saying, in retrospect, is the best way to solve a problem is not worrying about it? Thinking that there is no problem makes you problem free?

But if so, no that's not what I was trying to express. If you encounter a problem you can't seem to solve, change your definition of the problem - how you see the problem constrains the solution set. Obviously, I'm not referring to equations and such, but problems of the heart/soul/psyche.

galadofwarthethird ridicules the grain of truth that underlies the situation a bit. But the basic thought is this: you view life through the lense of your perception of reality, key here is perception - you can choose rose colored or turd colored glasses to view your surroundings (as well as any number of others you care to invent).

Anyway, you can't think yourself into happiness, there's no task list, no preconditions, no objections to overcome, it's not a contest. Corporeal reality, things and trophys, accomplishments, "greatness" are all completely meaningless in achieving happiness.

Thinking there is no problem doesn't make you free. Freeing your thinking makes the problem non-existant. Hope that helped.

gj

I don't know ....

'Complete happiness' as a goal isn't something I've agonised over too much during my life

I'm more than grateful to feel relatively contented

The secret, imo, is to ensure the ambition is achievable

Just being tall doesn't mean someone will or can ever be a 'top basketball player' or 'top model'

Just being able to play a guitar and sing in tune won't make someone a 'star'

In generations past, people tailored their ambitions to their abilities

These days it seems people are being encouraged to a sense of entitlement. Which can only bring grief

'Believing in and following the dream' is no guarantee that dream will eventuate. We see the winners up there on the podiums. But we're not encouraged to see those who tried and worked just as hard, yet never made it, never will

Nostradumbass quote:

So every human on the Earth has one basic need:
Achieving complete happiness, a complete piece of mind.

No. They are not 'needs'. They're 'wishes'

Basic needs include water, food, shelter

Then, if those basic needs are met, we can get a bit fancier and add 'companionship' and 'relative safety', maybe even something to wear

Those who've eaten today, who've had access to water, to shelter, to medicine, to education, to electricity -- well, those are amongst the top 8% of the world's population (put things in perspective, huh ?)

Originally posted by ganjoa
reply to post by Nostradumbass

 

Don't know if you're replying to my post

So what your saying, in retrospect, is the best way to solve a problem is not worrying about it? Thinking that there is no problem makes you problem free?

But if so, no that's not what I was trying to express. If you encounter a problem you can't seem to solve, change your definition of the problem - how you see the problem constrains the solution set. Obviously, I'm not referring to equations and such, but problems of the heart/soul/psyche.

galadofwarthethird ridicules the grain of truth that underlies the situation a bit. But the basic thought is this: you view life through the lense of your perception of reality, key here is perception - you can choose rose colored or turd colored glasses to view your surroundings (as well as any number of others you care to invent).

Anyway, you can't think yourself into happiness, there's no task list, no preconditions, no objections to overcome, it's not a contest. Corporeal reality, things and trophys, accomplishments, "greatness" are all completely meaningless in achieving happiness.

Thinking there is no problem doesn't make you free. Freeing your thinking makes the problem non-existant. Hope that helped.

gj

Here is the conclusion I came to last night:
Something now worth doing today, is something that is not worth regretting in the future.
And if you even have a small grain of curiousity in your body right now, well then, you better start living before it's too late.

And as you say, the key is in the perception, and the only way to alter perception is to first alter yourself. You have to find what makes you happy. And when you find what that thing is, strive for it with no doubt or remorse, because pursuit is the key to a happy life.

One of two things are happening right now: Your either striving toward the future, or recollecting on the past. So in a sense, you are either getting stronger or more wise...it all comes down to what makes you happy.

Originally posted by Dock9
I don't know ....

'Complete happiness' as a goal isn't something I've agonised over too much during my life

I'm more than grateful to feel relatively contented

The secret, imo, is to ensure the ambition is achievable

Just being tall doesn't mean someone will or can ever be a 'top basketball player' or 'top model'

Just being able to play a guitar and sing in tune won't make someone a 'star'

In generations past, people tailored their ambitions to their abilities

These days it seems people are being encouraged to a sense of entitlement. Which can only bring grief

'Believing in and following the dream' is no guarantee that dream will eventuate. We see the winners up there on the podiums. But we're not encouraged to see those who tried and worked just as hard, yet never made it, never will

Nostradumbass quote:

So every human on the Earth has one basic need:
Achieving complete happiness, a complete piece of mind.

No. They are not 'needs'. They're 'wishes'

Basic needs include water, food, shelter

Then, if those basic needs are met, we can get a bit fancier and add 'companionship' and 'relative safety', maybe even something to wear

Those who've eaten today, who've had access to water, to shelter, to medicine, to education, to electricity -- well, those are amongst the top 8% of the world's population (put things in perspective, huh ?)

Well that's the delima. Here we are, Americans, born with no sense of survival. Food, water, and shelter is an immediate need, but not one we find ourselves worrying about. We create different problem for ourselves, problems that are much more difficult to achieve for some reason.

If an American boy hands a bottle of water to an Ethopian boy, it pretty much means nothing to the American boy.
But to the other boy, it means the world.

It's the same prospect of a wizard coming up to me right now and promising me he will lead me to the love of my life, free of charge...I would call that guy the most amazing human being on the planet. But the crap of it is, that guy might just be doing his job...some Wizarding Compay might pay him with special spells and books so he can rise to the top of the Wizard world... and all he has to do is give us "lesser people", our "basic need" of love.

Need comes in all shapes and sizes. Yes, we do need food, water, and shelter above all else...but if we could satisfy those needs we were content, life would get pretty boring!