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The Easter Bunny - gay or straight?

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posted on Apr, 4 2010 @ 11:11 PM
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It seems that the endless threads and posts on homosexuality keep coming on ATS. Everyone is suddenly an expert on sexuality...well, and indeed, rather disgracefully everybody is.
So it should be easy to answer my query: is the Easter bunny gay or straight? Maybe he/she/it is confused or bi? With those teeth oral sex is probably ill advised, but boy, I could definately grab those fluffy ears to rock my universe! That just proves how corrupting the influence of this bouncing Beelzebub is.

Apparently the Bunny has nothing to do with Christianity. The goddess Ishtar changed a bird into an egg laying rabbit - and that's historical fact. Because she had a god-son called Tammuz, who became the role-model for a later Jesus, the pagans figured they'd combine the two and kill two birds with one stone.

I suppose the bird was female (since it layed eggs), but maybe the goddess changed its gender along with its species? That could be the source of Mr Bunny's confusion. But still, an abusive childhood is no reason to act like a pansy, and it never made a manly mascot like Santa Clause choose to be gay. Just the odd flask of whiskey and he's right as a reindeer. Spare me the liberal arguments, the Easter Bunny had over 2000 to sort himself out.

I mean we always say "Easter Bunny", not "Easter bunny-ess". We do assume this fluffy fiend is male. And I heard from a friend of a friend that only flaming homosexualists wear fluffy bunny tails. No wonder they call these degenerates "tailgunners".

Well that does it! No more bunnies for me. They will corrupt our poor innocent children into the gay lifestyle, and that raises all kinds of awkward questions around the dinner table during the news flashes of the gung-ho patriotic carnage in Iraq and Afghanistan.

So I say ban this raunchy rabbit, or at least limit him to the annual gay parade where he belongs. He's sold to innocent kids in the form of a drug called chocolate that will rot their and teeth and have them looking like Santa before puberty! Melt the evil bunnies down in a fiery furnace and make them into crisp chocolate crucifixes for the young ones to gnaw. This will set us back on the path of civilization. No more funny bunny - let's chew his face and smash his eggs.
Nobody can deny that this rabbit is an act of vandalism against nature and ordered creation.

[edit on 4-4-2010 by halfoldman]




posted on Apr, 12 2010 @ 09:38 AM
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reply to post by halfoldman
 


In all seriousness, who's to say that the Easter Bunny is male?

I'm female. I'd go gay... or remain straight... for the Easter Bunny. A little beastiality never hurt anyone



posted on Apr, 12 2010 @ 01:07 PM
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reply to post by Ashtree
 


uhm...giggidy?

this is the reason I love BTS...

-Kyo



posted on Apr, 12 2010 @ 07:47 PM
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reply to post by KyoZero
 

I wanted to have a beer,
and next thing the ladies say stuff it
I sorted it out with my brothers,
I'm cool and good.

We wanted to make Dylan Thomas poertry.
that's why when you see,
you see another reality.




[edit on 13-4-2010 by halfoldman]



posted on Apr, 12 2010 @ 07:49 PM
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He's gay! I pulled him at a halloween party last year, good times!!!!



posted on Apr, 12 2010 @ 08:06 PM
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reply to post by valiant
 

From Bombay to Bangalore,
if you want to live some more,
hare, hare hare.



posted on Apr, 12 2010 @ 09:06 PM
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Is this the Furry Thread?




posted on Apr, 13 2010 @ 03:28 AM
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reply to post by Signals
 

Maybe, perhaps it's just one of those far out threads that defy labels?
I must reiterate though, the Easter Bunny is defnately gay.




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