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Dating someone who is HIV + while being -

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posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:24 PM
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So i started dating someone and began to develop feelings for them, very strong ones and i could see the beautiful person inside. I had never been inspired and motivated so much since meeting and sharing my time with this person. Over the last couple years since that i've been single, after being in a longterm relationship, i've dated a few people but never felt a connection like this before. before i felt like 'hey could i settle for this person' btu in the end i decided i didn't want to settle with any of these potential partners... Now I went on another date with the guy i'm seeing now, which was probably the 7 or 8th date, a couple days ago he mentioned online that he was nervous about telling me something. That something was that he was HIV positive. At first I didn't care and was relieved that it wasn't "i'm still dating other people" . I went out and had an excellent amazing time with him this weekend and had just come back home today so our date lasted a couple days. I've had friends of friends who have had relationships with people who are HIV+ and that they had just been very careful. I'm worried about my health but also worried i might miss out on a great connection and relationship. I've done some research but thought id put this up here for anyone who has 2 cents to throw in.




posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:27 PM
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Thats though luck... for both of you.
You should do what your signature says - Follow your heart.

heh.. Love..
Personally I am willing to risk death for it

The hard part is finding it.

[edit on 3-4-2010 by freebourn]



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:32 PM
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Originally posted by freebourn
Thats though luck... for both of you.
You should do what your signature says - Follow your heart.

heh.. Love..
Personally I am willing to risk death for it

The hard part is finding it.

[edit on 3-4-2010 by freebourn]


after i posted it i noticed my signature right under it and i thought to myself 'how ironic'...

but needless to say i'm not sure or decided on what to do... its confusing.. what is right? when i dont have a strong feeling for the decision to leave or the decision to stay...



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:36 PM
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It's not a dead-end at all. Just be safe, and do what feels right. Love does not come around everyday.



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:36 PM
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well, if the person told u she is HIV+, thats a +, at least she is not irresponsible



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:36 PM
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Follow your heart, and as long as you are careful with blood, (Namely his) and do understand that he will have good and bad days due to the meds and his illness, it will be fine. Just be supportive with him is all that he would need, emotional support above everything else.



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:38 PM
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HIV currently is more of a chronic illness now adays if you can afford the treatments...make sure to get insurance.

Be as careful as possible of course.

Your going to do what your going to do, so just be fully educated about how to minimize the risk, and again, get health insurance should things slip up and you contract. Also, as it stands right now, you will have no children with this person...just someth8ing to keep in mind.



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:38 PM
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reply to post by hautmess
 

I personally have never known anyone with A.I.D.S. or anyone that was H.I.V. positive for that matter. Despite the statistics, that by this day and age, said I would.

You stated that you've done research. I would convey to you to continue this, become as educated on the subject as you can. As was stated previously by another poster, indeed follow your heart. If you're concerned about your health, then educate yourself on the necessary precautions one needs to take when pursuing a relationship with someone that is infected with a communicable disease.

The disease doesn't make the person in my opinion. If you feel an attraction, then go for it, but do so wisely.

I wish you the best of luck!



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:44 PM
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Just be extra careful that is really all I can say.
Best Wishes,
Reign



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:44 PM
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after i posted it i noticed my signature right under it and i thought to myself 'how ironic'...

but needless to say i'm not sure or decided on what to do... its confusing.. what is right? when i dont have a strong feeling for the decision to leave or the decision to stay...


What is right you ask?
What is right, is when you think about it and feel is good inside - nothing more to it.

I'm sure its a really hard thing to digest.
On the one hand you must think about what will happen when this person faces his disease... Obviously and unfortunately, you will have to watch him die, if you will stay with him long enough.
Thats a really hard thing to do.
There is no right or wrong.
If you start weighing such descions you will find yourself, still asking the same question 5 years later.

You must act with what you feel is right.
Dont think, feel.

But again i'll mention, that this is a complex situation.... And there is thinking to be done here, in a sense that:
- Can you watch a loved one pass away?
And there are many similar questions you should ask yourself

I mean.. it sounds really hard.

But I know people who lost dear ones to long fights with illness, and when you ask them if they knew this would happen would they be with another person, they all say no, and that they wont trade a second.

It all depends on what you feel - and only you know that.

[edit on 3-4-2010 by freebourn]



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:47 PM
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reply to post by hautmess
 


Be careful and know that this person will be around for a long time with the right treatments. If you really love them, I say go for it.



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:47 PM
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Think of it another way:

Instead of asking yourself if you want to be with this person (right now) imagine yourself walking away. Today. Gone. What does that make you feel?

Whatever it brings up, would be the place I would start (when examining my feelings)... Allow them to be true and they will point you in the right direction.



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:55 PM
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reply to post by freebourn
 




Obviously and unfortunately, you will have to watch him die


That's not necessarily the case, you really should research the medical breakthroughs involving H.I.V. According to the OP the fella hasn't developed full blown A.I.D.S. consider the following article:

HIV Vaccine Breakthrough

You have pretty much signed the guys death certificate. He may very well have many years of life left. Everyone is going to die someday. He may actually out live the OP. I personally think your view was a tad harsh and speculative.

Just saying!


[edit on 4/3/2010 by UberL33t]



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:55 PM
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Let me first start with saying, follow your hart.
A connection like that could be very hard to find again.

There are documentaries and studies around which say H.I.V. isn't what they tell you it is.

They say the virus is never been seen before and the way they test you is wrong.
They do a count of anti bodies of some kind ant if they are to high or low you are infected. The anti movement claims those same anti bodies are in fact always different in numbers and that H.I.V. will kill because the mind can't cope with the idea it has a terminal illness.

They say that the thing you get making you sick you would have got anyway do to a bad life style and stuf.

I do not know if what they say is right but I'll look up the link for you and post it when I find it.



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:58 PM
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reply to post by UberL33t
 


Well, that could very well be the case....
I'm not exactly aware of medical advances in that field.

But watching a loved one die of long-term disease is a harsh thing.
You cannot compare to something inevitable as dying of old age after you lived your whole lives together.

All I said was - Do as you feel.
Thats allways the right decision.



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 10:59 PM
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Like all the others, I wish you luck. Take things slowly, be extremely careful and make sure he has good medical coverage and is taken good care of.



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 11:03 PM
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Here is the first one.
www.whale.to... site

www.youtube.com... video

www.livevideo.com... video

worcester.indymedia.org...

Google search page

Aids man made
This is probably not gonna help.

Just follow your hart and love.

[edit on 3-4-2010 by Sinter Klaas]



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 11:08 PM
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reply to post by freebourn
 




All I said was - Do as you feel. Thats allways the right decision.

...and that, I completely concur with



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 11:14 PM
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my 2 cence is to think very wisely, if this guy likes you the same then why don't you not have a sexual relationship until you know that you really have fallen for that person!?

he must be a good guy to have told you


donk ask us follow your heart



posted on Apr, 3 2010 @ 11:34 PM
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REALITY CHECK...........

Really, all these post saying follow your heart????

Hearts lie....

I'm not trying to ridicule dude, he seems somewhat stand up for letting you know before hand, well, he did let you know before hand right??? 8 dates??? i have always gotten the drawers first date
...

I am going to assume that you have not "slept" with him yet...
Before a make a complete d!%% of myself, just let me say,
This is one of those times you listen to your brain, not your heart...




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